Da Goddess

The horses were too adorable today and I think I overdosed a bit on precious. Seems almost silly that I get so much joy from seeing horses roaming about freely, but it’s special to me. Went with delightful, clever people and that made the day even more special. I think we all walked away wishing we could take a couple of these cuties home with us.

You’d think living out in the middle of nowhere (for the most part) would mean I’m not subject to being surrounded by anything much…good or bad. Ha! Wrong!

Lately I’ve been surrounded by Aussies, which is fine by me since I’ve been obsessed with the country for well over 35 years. I can always count on being in the thick of ’em when I go downtown and plunk myself right smack dab in their midst, but it’s strange to walk into Starbucks and end up in the middle of a bunch of them again. Tomorrow is a planned Aussie day. I’m taking a couple up to see the wild horses. Should be fun.

I’m also surrounded by idiots. I much prefer the Aussies to idiots, but I don’t always get to pick what comes my way. So I have a few wretched imbiciles who really like making everyone around them uncomfortable. I do my best to stay away because I have enough attitude and problems of my own. But when you’re stuck with them, ay yi yi! I’m hoping to remedy this situation soon.

The good news is that to balance out the idiots are the angels. I have a few very wonderful angels looking out for me. You know who you are and I can’t thank you enough for being a presence in my life. Being this blessed is something I wish everyone could experience and I hope that someday others see me in this light. I mean, I hope that I can bring relief to others, bring them joy, bring them comfort. If I can do that for even one person, I will feel like I’ve accomplished much.

Today, for all the silliness and randomness that’s come my way, has been a good day.

Tomorrow is going to be even better. I just know it.

I’ve never been a fan of hers. Never. I’d run to turn off the radio if she came on.

Now, we’re in the same town. She’s touting a show that’s including “lullabies and baby photos” and just her and a 38-piece orchestra.

C.D. is back in Vegas!

And while I’ve never been a fan, I have a newfound respect for her as a human being.

A couple friends told me of something magnificent she did when they were youngsters touring with her. She extended kindnesses well beyond what you’d imagine normal for a superstar to do…bringing one of them a cake and singing him happy birthday, dinners together, applauding their successes as opening act…all things that mostly never happens in the pop world. But she went out of her way to make four boys feel important and welcomed in her world, all because she remembered how it was when she first started out and was treated poorly. She vowed it would never be that way for any supporting act on one of her tours.

That puts her in a whole new light for me. I may never go see her perform, but I will certainly give her props for being so amazingly cool to people who are now rather special to me.

As a lover of music and also of kind people, this news made me happy…happy enough to blog about it.

Just some pics from a couple weeks ago. Yes, I actually went somewhere! It was a gorgeous day and my photographer friend and I had fun as the sunshine beat down upon our skin and warmed us to the core. The sun was a bit too bright for good landscapes, but that gave me an excuse to look closer at some of the things around me. I was pleasantly surprised.

What the images lack in quality, I’ve made up for in quantity.

I’ve turned into a Starbuckian. I have my large grande(?) ice water, the little rice crispie treat I bought for under two bucks, am bundled in my sweatshirt with scarf, and am sitting here in a corner with all my stuff plugged in so I can do a little internet work. All that’s missing are my funky glasses and a knit cap. Then I’d be just like everyone else here, except the cute gay boy in the corner who asked me to watch his stuff while he went to the bathroom.

This is wrong on so many levels for me. This isn’t my world. I should be in a scuzzy dive bar with music blaring, watching a killer band, laughing with friends, and doing my computer work at home. In due time. In due time. Until then, I will have to watch myself so that I don’t lapse into too many coffeehouse behaviors. Certainly, one must watch that one doesn’t wake up in the Coffee Bean down the street or Seattle. No, one must stick with one place and guard against creeping hipsterization.

I shall do my best to remain ever vigilant against such things. Wish me luck!

In the meantime, I’m going to try to get some photos posted!

Finally got to a Starbucks with working FREE wifi. Can’t believe not all Starbucks are on board with that yet.

Okay, so nothing still on the job front. Hoping the one office calls me by Monday. (Deets in the passworded post.) On the photography front, I finally handed over the copy for a new type of session to someone else, hoping they can work miracles with it. I honestly think I get too close to the work and get writer’s block. Almost as if the pressure of having the EXACT RIGHT WORDS is too much for me to handle. Um, I sorta write for…peanuts…a couple publications, don’t you think I could do my own copy? Ha! Anyhow, that’s in capable hands now. It was good to let it go and focus instead on putting together the images I need.

That said, if any couples are going to be in the Las Vegas area in the next month and would like to be a part of this new thing I’m doing, please drop me a line either in comments or via email (personal or website works). Subject line should read: Heartbeat

Dorky, I know, but that’s how I’ll recognize the email for what it is.

All couples who participate in these free sessions will also receive a free 8×10. Any other images will be available at special rates for you wonderful volunteer models. Sessions are emotionally intimate (all images are clothed and safe for viewing by all ages) and are meant to depict the depth and strength of the bond you share.

Okey dokey, I’m off for home again.

Password is same as it ever was. You know the drill.

While some parts are boring, there is a least one juicy reveal contained therein.

Oh, and to “JU’s wifey”, if you’re reading this: get a damn life, pay me back the money you owe me, and stop thinking of yourself as the victim. YOU brought your troubles on yourself. You opened your big mouth to more than one person and actually BRAGGED about what you did…even though it was illegal as well as immoral. Keep pushing and I will make it clear to all what really happened.

Nice of you to drop by. Guess you could say the same about me. Radio silence has proven good for me. I had to regroup and recoup. Now that both are largely done, I’m back to chasing dreams that ride on the farted rainbows from the glittery prancing unicorns. It’s not all doom and gloom. I’m looking for a job. Have it down to three or four places that aren’t giving me outright “nos”. Looking for a sugar daddy, too, but that takes miracles that Sparkles, the glitter unicorn, can’t make happen. As well, trying not to land in jail for wanting to eliminate whining and crying and anything that’s reminiscent of 8th grade from a man’s post-breakup arsenal. Seems the only way I can achieve that is to kill him in his sleep. He keeps it up another couple days and I will do it. I will throttle him.

Been working, too, on some promotional pieces for photography sessions. May also have an opportunity to be credentialed for a big event here in town. Hoping that works out. Please cross your fingers on that one!

Back to bed now so I can be awake for another phone interview. (Think good thoughts, please.)

Ohh! And to save the biggest, best news of all for last…my friend’s family in Japan is all alive. Yeah, some damage to their home, but they are otherwise fine. If you don’t mind a minor heart attack for grandma, broken leg for mom, and scrapes and bruises on the visiting nieces and nephews, To me, that’s the most incredible news I could ahve ever heard and I’m thrilled and relieved for them. Hope radiation doesn’t become their next big worry, but God seems to been answering a lot of prayers right now, so we focus them in on those who need them most. “Watashi wa anata o aishite, anata, watashi no yūjin no tame ni inoru.”

Been putting in calls, sending out texts and emails, and basically reminding everyone who owes me money that they need to pay me NOW. Not sure if I’m going to make my deadline of the 9th, but I’m trying. The panic creeps back in. I really do have a few things that have to be paid by the 9th or I’m fubar’d. Phone doesn’t get paid and I’m out of contact with EVERYONE. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. And storage. I was hoping to get storage out here this past month, but with WPPI, there was no quick trip in the middle of the month to accomplish that. And food. Well, I could always diet. Live on water. Maybe crumbs from the pb&j MOBD makes. Anyhow, looking to see what I could possibly sell and I really don’t have anything here…only have a couple things (dun dum duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!) back in storage. Which does me no good here right now. So, I hope and pray payments come in. I know one is 10 weeks away. Too late. What do I do?

And then…

Ran into an interesting little situation along the way, though. Seems Buster, whom I had contacted about possible work, including photography, decided he should call me and ask: “Can I borrow your gear for a job? And can I get you to tell me how to use it? And it’s for so-and-so, you know we’ve been working together on this for years and they like what I shoot with my little point and shoot camera but I just can’t get what I want or what they need from my little camera. So, can I borrow your stuff? Can you should me how to use it?”

Deep down inside, I was thinking, “hey, you know, I just heard of this band looking for a new drummer and I was wondering if I could borrow your entire drum kit and have you come along, standing at the side of the stage teaching me how to play since this band and I get along and well, we like each other’s vibe and all…” but I didn’t say that.

What I said instead was, “look, you know I’m looking for work.” His excuse, “well, so-and-so and I have a good sense of what we’re aiming for.” To which I finished responding, “as you know, I’m looking for work…this exact kind of work. And my gear, I can’t loan it out. If anything were to happen to it, then I wouldn’t have any gear for work that might come my way, right? You understand that, don’t you? I’m already down two lenses, one broken because I loaned it to someone who was a professional.” He says, “What would you charge to be there with me as an assistant with your gear?” “You mean to watch you use my stuff, teach you to use it, and watch you take money out of my pocket? I’d start at $200.” “Oh. Well, I know you like to do this kind of work and it’s your thing and all, but I’ve been working on this for years with these guys and we’re still trying to get the right image…”

So, here’s the deal. You’ve been working on trying to get the right image for years and it still hasn’t happened. Okay, maybe you’re not doing something right. And yes, you’re right, your gear doesn’t allow you larger files like they’d need. The trick isn’t to borrow someone’s gear then, it’s to buy yourself a newer camera and then shoot whatever you need. And here’s another thing: you’re a bunch of musicians shooting for other musicians and none of y’all have any real photo experience. And you’re being really cheap about this. I get that. I get it. But don’t you think it’s a little rude to ask the one person who does know what she’s doing in such situations and who gets paid to photograph such situations to basically hand over the tools and the knowledge of her trade and take money right out of her hand when she needs it most just so you can see if you can do it, too?

And people wonder why it’s hard to make a living as a photographer…here, there, or anywhere.

So my once very good friend and former roommate now has a target on his back for once again coming up with THE VERY WORST favor he could ever ask at the VERY WORST TIME EVER. Really? This is what I do. Why not just grab the band, sit down with me, go over the concept, show me previous attempts, and let me shoot it? I know so-and-so. I know most of the players in the game. And for the record, so-and-so is exceedingly talented, works (or has worked) in a great many top draw shows on the Strip…you really want some amateurish photography representing you out in public? That’s the classy look you’re going for? Even if it were for a grunge band…the lead has a face, a name, a reputation in this town and he wants something cheap and amateurish? Okay, I guess. But don’t ask to borrow all my gear and expertise to do it when I’m in need of work (desperately so) because my answer is going to be…NO. And not just NO, but HELL NO.

I asked a few close friends, as in two, if they thought my response was unreasonable and they said they thought it was a bit on the…um…polite side of the spectrum. Then again, I don’t really have a voice at this point. If I’d tried to invoke Samuel L. Jackson or something, it wouldn’t have been very convincing. So, I went with, “Sorry, no…noooo….really? REALLY? NO! No. Just…no.” And I gave a few other suggestions. Gear suggestions, that is. Told him to go grab a newer point and shoot with a minimum of 10mp and he should be fiine. Didn’t ask why his girlfriend didn’t loan him her gear while she was out for WPPI, but then again, I didn’t want to talk about her and have that mess come up again. Some hornets’ nests are best left unstirred. I’ll say no more about that.

Was I right or was I wrong in my response? I could have earned some money renting out my gear, but I had no guarantee that it would be returned in good condition. Or that even if I’d come up with a rental agreement and deposit, etc, that I’d ever been able to collect should damage occur. I did the only thing I knew would not result in broken or lost gear: I said no. But there’s that tiny little voice in the back of my head that says I’m not being very Christian or even just a very good friend about it. I’m just wondering if that even applies. I mean, we’re talking about a man who knows my situation and then pulls this crap on me. One argument is that he’s not being a very good friend asking any of that of me. What would you do?

In which I use my burst of lucidity and lack of fever to expound on something not personal.

Anyone else deeply disturbed that a certain sitcom star’s rants and ramblings often contain violent imagery in regards to anyone who doesn’t agree with him?

I find it rather unsettling that he continues to get all sorts of press and all these psychologists and psychiatrists talk about his “mania” but don’t address the threats he’s made.

Where Charlie Sheen was once funny and Two and a Half Men a show I made a point to watch, his antics have made it painful to do so. He stopped being funny. There was plenty of good writing, but his performance was flat. About a month ago, there was an episode in which he was horribly pale, sweaty looking, and listless. No matter how much makeup they slapped on him, no matter how they lit that set, he looked bad. Really bad. And I had to turn it off even though I love Rose and Jake and Herb. It’s no longer on my watch list. Such a shame, too, because we had SQUAB! And Vod, Vod Kaknockers. And Benjamin Franklin in a rainstorm. And Alan being “the guy” to repair the satellite dish to disastrous, but hilarious results. All that is gone.

I’m not going to mourn the loss of a TV show. But I will mourn the loss of a man’s sanity and society’s refusal to address the severity of the violence in his “interviews”. It’s time to stop creening our necks to watch the wreck as we drive by and to get back to protecting people from becoming his future victims.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Nice to be on my deathbed and Amazon at the same time.

The cough is getting deeper, my temp is all over the place, and there are moments when I really wish I were being hauled out to the desert for a shot to the head and a shallow grave.

The good news is that I’m on Amazon. Or rather, one of my photos is lingering there.

album cover.

Here’s the original.

Kind of cool to see where something started and where it ended up, isn’t it? Different eyes see things you might not be able to envision and that’s why it’s good to have someone else doing design work if you’re getting nowhere, which I was as I was too invested in my images to clearly see what the label wanted. It was great to see what happened once I let go. I’m actually really happy that this reflects both the tone of the album and what the record company was aiming for. And I’m proud to have had the opportunity to work with such amazing people.

Took me an hour to post this. Coughing. Ice pick to the skull sort of headache. It’s been one of those “you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…” kind of days.

At some point, I may get through emails again. I may also turn into Christina Hendricks. Yeah, neither is bloody likely at this rate.

Anyhow, there are the highs and lows of my day. How about you?

By the way? The album is freakin’ incredible! It’s his best work thus far.