Da Goddess

Every year, this is how I celebrate.

Merry Christmas, friends! May you always remember the best moments of life and love today. You are loved. You are valued. You are seen. Merry Christmas.

Here’s Justin Hines.

I’m pretty sure I post these videos every Christmas Eve and I love each of them more with each passing year.

One of my favorite songs for this time of year.

Not that I come close to baby Jesus or even the Great and Holy Theotokos, but a manger has been found and I am thrilled.

It’s good to have the search finally over.

Now, I can focus on getting healthy again. We’ve all been sick here. This is round two. It’s kicked our asses. I’m at the blowing my nose and getting grayish-brownish-greenish goo or blood. The sore throat is abating. The body aches are barely existent. All signs that I’m going in the right direction. Small wins are still wins.

I was going to post a video for Away in a Manger, but I couldn’t find a version I liked. Instead, I bring you The Season’s Upon Us from the Dropkick Murphys.

May you be warm, cozy, and comfortable as Christmas Eve Eve progresses.

I’ve been MIA for a long time, obviously. My excuse? Dealing with crazy ass people, moving (three times in less than three months), dealing with nice people, trying to get some semblance of normalcy (quit laughing!) in my life, dealing with grief throughout all of this insanity, etc., etc., etc.

Currently looking for a new place to live and actually call home for at least a year. At this point, I don’t care where it is. I just want to be somewhere drama-free, affordable, and comfortable.

Adventures in house hunting: -30/10. Do NOT recommend. Ever. Particularly, and this is the least crazy, the man who showed me around the place (it was nice) and offered to knock off $300 if I would fuck him whenever he wanted. Oh, and it might not always be him. He might send a friend to have some fun. As I slowly backed out of the house, I thanked him, told him I wasn’t interested, and, as I closed the door, said he was fucking insane.

My head feels all ‘splodey. Good times.

I have until the 1st to find somewhere. I’m trying to find someplace sooner because I’m living with three other people (one of whom requires total care), two dogs, and four cats. It’s a two bedroom house. (Quit laughing!) I actually don’t mind most of it, except for the dogs jumping all over me while I’m trying to sleep, the cats fighting as they try to work out the rules (one human, one dog, two cats are recent additions), and sweeping up enough enough fur to assemble another giant dog every six hours. Today? We added two kids to the mix. Chaos. Good chaos. But, honestly, I would like a little quiet. A little. Just a smidgen.

I would also like to sleep for approximately three weeks. Sigh.

Other than that, life is bordering on Dullsville. What’s up with you?

It’s that time of year again! I’m commemorating the years I’ve been blogging while also celebrating my years on this planet.

These are not insignificant numbers. 22: how many people do you know who are still involved with something they started on a whim over twenty years ago? 58: there are people who predicted I’d never see this age. My, but I bet they’re surprised! Well, not all of them are still living. Hey, I had absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR DEPARTURES!!! Life (and death) happens. No spells or curses were utter, purchased, or distributed. Not by me.

It feels a little funny to continue blogging despite no longer having a large readership. Hell, I’d be stretching to call what I have a small readership. Micro. I have a micro readership. And that’s all thanks to Pam. Love you, girlfriend! The thing is, I stopped writing for anyone else years ago. I write for me. If I bother to write, that is. This is just one of the places I call home. (Ah, yes. The pretense of having multiple homes. It’s my fantasy, I can have as many homes as I like. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

So, here I am. Pretty much writing to myself and one or two others. I’m surprisingly okay with it. It’s a far cry from where I was twenty years ago, but things change. Funny how age can either drive you nuts or make you contented. Sometimes all in the same hour. That’s just life.

The truth is, I really like my life right now. I like where I am. I like where I live. I like who I live with (GmaB is truly an amazing lady who exudes goodness and love). I like who I am here. I like all the things I do. I’m taking care of someone. I’m in a home that was built with lots of love. If it weren’t for the major heat in the summer, it would be perfect. Actually, it is perfect. I don’t have to go outside in the heat except to take out the trash. There’s good air conditioning. See? I can’t even complain about the weather. Who am I anymore?

Having found this new wonderful state of mind, I feel like an idiot for not finding it sooner. It was always there for the taking. I just couldn’t see it. Now, I do.

And with that, I’ll bid you adieu for now and go have a birthday donut. Raspberry filled.

Here’s to whatever adventures come next!

Every year, this is how I celebrate Christmas.

Merry Christmas, friends! May you always remember the best moments of life and love today.

(more…)

One of my favorite songs for this time of year.

It’s pretty much the same for me every Christmas Eve. Well, musically. Mostly.

Here’s Justin Hines.

Epenthesis and Anaptyxis walked into a bar and confused the hell out of everyone.

This week’s new words are wonderful. Simply wonderful. Or should I say they’re “wonderaful”?

Epenthesis (eh-penth-e-sis) is the adding of a vowel or sound to a word in order to facilitate pronunciation. Like “es-top” or “stop-e(h)”. Or “bu-lue”.

More spectacularly, the addition of the vowel in epenthesis has a specific name: (you guessed it!) anaptyxis (an-app-tu-sis). Think of Yogi Bear telling BooBoo he’s going to get that “pic-a-nic” basket. That’s epenthesis and anaptyxis in action.

What’s even more fun is when Epenthesis and Anaptyxis are out drinking and they run into and are mesmerized by Paragoge. Paragoge also goes by the name Proparalepsis. (Can you tell I love this stuff?)

Paragoge/Proparalepsis “refers to the annexing of an expletive syllable”. In some cases, you can think of it as a nickname for words and, (ed: er…um…) names. Like “Johnny, for John;” “deary, for dear;” “withouten, for without.” (ed: Or my personal favorite “broughten, for brought.”)

When someone asks me “what kind of weirdo are you?” I’m the kind of weirdo who loves this shit. And that’s the honest to God truth. I’m also just a huge ol’ word nerd.

Stay tuned for more words I’ve encountered which have charmed and enchanted me. I have a list. Yeah, an actual list.

Feel free to share words of your own in the comments section.

I finally got a pic uploaded to the site, but I can’t post it. The file info is weird. The code I used to add it to the post is weird. When I save the post, the code duplicates itself and does funky shit to the code.

What I’m saying is this: WordPress, in its current configuration, sucks balls. Big ass dirty donkey balls.

This may well be the straw to end my blogging — after 21 years. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate. It. HATE IT. HATE. IT. HATE. HATE!!!

That is all.

End of transmission.

I’m 57 today. Fifty-fucking-seven. I know time goes to Cleveland*, so, then, can you explain how I ended up HERE?

I’ve also been blogging 21 years**. Twenty-fucking-one years. In this time I’ve had a career I loved, endured an attack on my career and my family by bloggers I had once thought of as friends, went to work at a new job, lost my career due to an on-the-job injury, lived in at least 16 different homes***, lost dear friends, gained a significant amount of weight, almost lost my sister TWICE, almost died myself when I developed sepsis, lost both parents, was diagnosed with diabetes, had a complete emotional breakdown, lost a not-so-insignificant amount of weight, developed a cataract that’s essentially blinded me in one eye, and I’m still fucking here.

During this time, I’ve also been privileged to watch my children become lovely adults. I’ve formed some truly beautiful friendships with people who are more like family. I’ve had amazing experiences. I’ve met legends. I’ve achieved some of my loftiest goals. I’ve lived, I’ve laughed, and, yes, I’ve even eaten, prayed, and loved.

Are there things I wished were different? Hell, yes! At the same time, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on what came next. You, know, the whole rainbow after the rain thing.

I believe we experience the worst of times to understand and appreciate the best of times. The roller coaster is only fun because of the ups and downs. Otherwise, it’s just a trolley ride across a flat town.

For those of you who are still around and commenting (Pam) or just blurking, thank you. I’m truly grateful. For those who have turned away, I wish you well (or, in one instance, have wished you hell [or at the very least, karmic comeuppance]). Mostly, I wish for the good stuff. Mostly. And that’s what I spend my time praying for. I can’t help myself; I’m a kind of a marshmallow deep down.

Here’s to another trip around the sun!

* ME: Where does the time go? LD: Cleveland.

** As of May 16.

*** It may be more, but I’m too exhausted by the thought of all that moving to list each place on paper and properly get the actual total.

Hope your blessings are too numerous to count.

Note: I’m having major issues with the site and only just now was able to sign in. I’m working on it.

I started a post last night with music, but was too tired to follow through. Today yielded the exact same results.

The drive to San Diego was uneventful, save for a dust storm and a rain storm. The drive back was uneventful, save for the fact I left my fucking wallet in a bathroom stall at a travel stop attached to a casino. I didn’t realize it until we were already an hour away.

About 500 calls later, it hadn’t been turned in and I had to call to cancel my Visa debit card, my EBT card, and I still have an incredible amount of calls left to make. Insurance, DMV (again! And which has already proved to be nigh on impossible), social security, and I need to call about my birth certificate. I know the last two items shouldn’t have been in my wallet, but they were there for a reason. Also, my vaccination record was in there.

What really kills me is that the last note my mom ever wrote me was in the wallet. Photos of the kids. Ticket stubs from long ago concerts. Eighteen guitar picks I’ll never be able to replace. Things like that.

I know as time goes on, I’ll think of other items I’ll need to replace, but for now I’m just kicking myself each and every time I remember what happened. It’s the preferred option when compared to an accident or someone breaking into the car amd stealing all the things in there. We were lucky in that sense.

Exhausted by my own stupidity, I leave you with absolutely no music and 100% permission to laugh at my misfortune.

Until…um…next time, I guess.

I’m so exhausted from doctor appointments and packing that I’ve completely forgotten to post music and other updates.

My study is officially over here in Lubbock, but the docs have found me another study close to where I’m moving! (Note: call sis with update tomorrow before it gets late!!!)

There are a few lingering issues that are concerning enough for the docs to want me to continue on with various therapies. Since their study only deals with a specific period of time following the initial Covid infection and the early stages of long Covid, it was imperative they find something to continue monitoring and testing me for the next (minimum of) 90 days.

I wasn’t sure if I was really going to make the move to Phoenix, but the timing of the the study availability, location, and a freakily timed call from my friend means that everything is happening. Very. Quickly.

I leave Friday.

I’m almost done with all the packing. I better be! I have to ship boxes tomorrow afternoon. I’m checking one suitcase and taking one carry-on, plus my purse. It’s not exactly inexpensive, but needs must. It would cost more to pay for extra baggage than to just ship the stuff, so that’s what I’m doing.

I’m both excited and a bit terrified. I’m excited to see my dear JK again, to meet her man, and to finally meet her girls! There are also a bunch of animals, including a huge tortoise, an emu (squee! I love emus), a snake, and two hedgehogs. There are many more, but those are my top four.

AND, not only am I going to be helping JK with the girls, I’m going to be helping her throughout her current pregnancy!

I was so sad I’d missed out on her pregnancies with the girls. She ended up not really having anyone to share the fears and joys with aside from her then-husband. She didn’t have a girlfriend to talk about things with her. Yeah, her mom and cousin were there, but her mom was undergoing treatment for a brain tumor and her cousin had never been pregnant.

But now…now we get to do this together. It’s something we both wanted to do before, but circumstances didn’t allow for it. Now we get to.

I don’t anticipate staying with her and her family permanently. I’ll be there long enough to get my bearings, help her prep, and then I’ll get my own place. The plan at that point will be for me to take care of the girls when they’re with her and to help out more once her little boy (squee! Again!) arrives. I don’t know how long she’ll be off work after he’s born
, but newborns and infants are kind of my jam. Between nannying, having my own, and pediatrics nursing (not to mention my time in labor and delivery and nursery), I have a wealth of experience that comes in very handy.

Anyhow, that’s what’s happening here and why I’ve been neglecting updates.

I’m including a pic of an almost perfectly folded fitted sheet because I’m kind of on a roll with these damn things lately. Sadly, this isn’t perfect, but it’s close enough for me to call it a win. I’m so tired, my hands are floppy and numb. Close. Enough.

Please excuse the quality

, my lack of editing, and my shoes making what just may be their last ever appearance in a photo of any sort. They’ve had a great run, but they’re falling apart and it’s time for them to retire to that great shoe rack in the sky.

With that, I’m out for now. I’ll update when I’m able.

TTFN & LYL!