I Can’t Even See the Scar
My new physical therapist is sooo much better than the last one. She communicates better. She’s working me in a better manner. And she cracks me up.
As we were getting started yesterday afternoon, she had me roll over onto my side so she could work on the left side of my lower back where I tend to have the most trouble. The massage was awesome. While the therapist was working on the area, she commented that the doctor must have a magic touch because, “I can’t even see the scar!” I started laughing and told her I most definitely have a scar…on my belly. “Wow! I haven’t seen an anterior approach in ages,” she said. Well, she wasn’t going to see mine right then and there because we were in the big room, surrounded by other patients and therapists. I told her is she really wanted to see my scar, she could, but we’d have to go in the back. Honestly, the incision isn’t a problem for me. It’s noticeable, but it’s less so than I expected. And it’s gotten smaller over the last few months.
This session was all about adding weights and working core muscles. It’s harder than you’d think if you were standing there watching. It was also surprising in that the areas that gave me the most trouble weren’t where I thought they’d be.
Little Dude ended up not going to P.T. with me as I’d originally planned. After school, his grandmother picked him up so I could get a couple hours of sleep (it just wasn’t happening the night before). I did swing by on my way home from P.T. though and got to hear all about the last day, the trip to the pool, the squirrels named “Brownie”, “Chocolate”, and “Pizza” (no worries, I didn’t get it either), and the phone number in his pocket. Of all his “girlfriends” at school, he chose to ask just one for her number (which she gave, wrapped in a heart) so they could get together over summer. “I have back-ups, though, Mom. Always have to have a reserve…just in case,” he tells me. Good God. Perhaps I should stop letting him watch Friends — he thinks Joey’s the coolest.
As we headed home, Ramones blasting on the stereo, I thought about the two months that lie in front of us. He’ll have camping, a glider flight (with his sister, courtesy of my dad), maybe a date or two, and lots of time to run around and be a kid. LD’s also been trying to come up with ways to earn money, but I want him to wait until next year for entirely selfish reasons. This is likely our last summer of being able to hang out and goof off. I don’t know where the time goes! It seems as though it was just yesterday he was little enough to hike up onto my hip and put in a shopping cart. Now he’s talking girlfriends and jobs and… Arrrgh! It’s not possible. But it is. That in itself is a little like another scar, but one that’s more emotional than physical. It’s a mommy scar, if you will. You can’t really see this one, either.
Today, we’re off to see the Very Cute Doctor. It’s an early appointment that will run long, despite the fact that I’ll likely only see the doc for a few minutes, at which point he’ll write me a couple new prescriptions, tell me to keep walking, work harder at P.T., and “see you in six weeks.” If I’m lucky, I’ll get to ask him a few questions. After that, I’m hoping for a quiet-ish day. Seems like this week has been nothing but craziness. I think a little quiet would go a long way. LD wants to go see Up. If I can squeeze it out of the budget, maybe we’ll do that.
Hope y’all have a good start to your weekend!
I don’t blame you for wanting another summer with LD before he ‘officially’ grows up; or into girls, anyway. That time is so precious…
Glad your PT went well! :thumbs:
Comment by Pam — 2009/06/12 @ 05:05
“I wanna be sedated!”
Sorry…
Comment by rob sama — 2009/06/12 @ 05:55
my boy still thinks girls have cooties, thank god!
Comment by patti — 2009/06/12 @ 06:03
I remember years ago having to do PT for a broken leg and the awesome foot massages that took place. Made it worth any pain.
And like I tell everybody, enjoy the kids while they’re young, pretty soon they grow up to be smartass teenagers. And let the boy know it’s always cool to love up on mom, even when he turns sixteen (too many female friends of mine turn to lepers once their kids reach that age).
Comment by diamond dave — 2009/06/12 @ 06:25
LOL doing core work correctly is way way harder than it looks (as I sit here with sore muscles after yesterday’s Pilates class).
Even more funny, I was talking to one of the teachers there about my kids and how I was never a “little kid mom” and how much I enjoy my kids now that they’re all grown up. :biggrin:
Comment by Teresa — 2009/06/12 @ 07:33
you’re in deep trouble, girl. He’s goin’ flyin…. he’s gonna get bit and bit hard. Gliders are pure stick & rudder flying and the absolute most fun you can have with or without your clothes on. And he’s already thinkin like an aviator…always have an alternate.
Just make sure he understands airplanes are far easier to understand than women, they won’t break your heart as often, but they will still, and in a flippin heartbeat too, empty your bank account.
Comment by p2 — 2009/06/12 @ 10:05
Mommy scars… that’s a nice way to frame it. I heard “Up” was great. I hope you find the nickels to go! Sounds like a nice summer ahead. :-)
Comment by Chris — 2009/06/12 @ 10:22
I spent some time in PT and it so much harder than it looks–you’re right. When my son was going through PT it was interesting how much better a job the big guy did on him than the small women–I hate to be sexist, but it did make me think that for certain types of PT being super big and strong would really help.
Comment by Jenn @ Juggling Life — 2009/06/12 @ 14:08
The kids really do grow up wayyyy too fast. We hadn’t seen Alan’s kids in over a year (they live 400 miles away with mom.) When we last saw them they were *kids*….now they are mini ADULTS! The daughter is 14 and already taller than me! The son, 16, is taller than his Dad. What a difference a year makes!
It will be interesting to see how much the kid I chauffeur for, changes over the summer. It seems he gets taller every *week!*
Comment by DogsDontPurr — 2009/06/12 @ 17:05
Pam – I’m officially calling this “My Selfish Summer” It’s the only way to explain it.
Patti – They do. And so do boys. But mommies are mostly immune to them.
Rob – I want to be sedated too. Or at least listen to that tune 100 times. After Sheena is a Punk Rocker and KKK Took My Baby Away. And…oh hell, gimme the whole damn album. It’s good.
P2 – He will get bit and I’ll encourage it. He’s been up in a WWII dog fighter. LOVED it. And this is just one more piece of the puzzle.
I think he’s trying very hard not to get excited about the glider flight just in case it’s postponed again (as it was in January when my daughter was in her accident). I do honestly believe he gets his love of flying from me. I started at an early age, been in a lot of different types of planes, but still want to go up in a fighter jet and a crop duster. And the next time I go up in a helicopter, I want that kid strapped in beside me. I think he’d love it as much as I do.
As for women, the rules are: pick confident women who are kind. Stay away from those who act like little princesses and demand the world. A good woman is mostly self-sufficient, understands the world around her, the value of treating others with respect, and who encourages you to be all those things, too, she’ll also treat you like a king or a prince or even a rock star…as long as you are good to her. A good man should be all that and more, because even the most self-sufficient woman has a tiny spot in her head and her heart wishing for a man who will love and care for her and treat her like the treasure she is, but may not know she is.
I can tell him all this, but I’m afraid it falls a bit flat when he can’t see it in action. He never had the chance to see “mom and dad” together that way, but he’s seen glimpses of mom like that with a boyfriend, briefly. All too briefly. I want him to see it, to live with that sort of love and respect around him so that he knows it’s possible and can put it into practice in his own life. He won’t see it from his dad, so it’s up to me. It’s the thing that haunts me most…that I failed as a wife and mother to give this to LD and Mojo.
The future is full of possibilities, though. Never know what it might bring. So…one must hope to do as best one can
Dave – I wish I got good massage AFTER the workout, plus some ultrasound. That would be heavenly! Perhaps I’ll ask for it next time.
I’m going to keep hanging on as long as I can. I think he is, too. He loves mommy and the comfort of my arms he knows is ALWAYS waiting for him. I figure once he starts dating seriously, that will change. But I hope not. I hope not.
Teresa – Core or not, it all hurts a little, but nothing too major. The Core stuff hits you LATER. In sneaky and terrible ways.
As the kids get older, they have such interesting personalities. I loved them as babies, but I’m diggin’ this new phase.
Chrisy – Mommy scars are what we carry with us from the moment they’re born until the day we die. No way around that.
Up was VERY good. Could barely afford it (3D glasses required), but we did it anyway. It was worth it. My son held my hand on the way out. Not going to get too many of those moments in the future, am I?
Jen – My gal is teeny tiny and she’s great! Last time I had some big burly guy for PT was ages (as in years) ago. I only liked going to him because he was very cute and he gave back rubs.
I wish my sister, Jeni, still did massage. She’s tall and has big hands, gives the impression that she’d have a heavy touch, but she’s gentle and very effective
Marcie – They grow quicker than you can imagine right in front of you! Makes my heart get a little tight and a lump rise in my throat.
Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/06/14 @ 05:24