2013/04/06

Recipe Needed

Da Goddess @ 23:44

Anyone with a good recipe for cockatiel?

Bird brain is about to have his life ended abruptly if he keeps attacking my dad and me.

2013/03/24

Struggling With a Sense of…IDUNNO

Da Goddess @ 14:44

The day started off so nicely, too! Breakfast with my dad and my daughter. Running to the store with Mojo after breakfast. Looking through photos with her. Smiling so much, my cheeks hurt.

Now? I’m just so…IDUNNO…I bit all the heads off my Peeps.

Of course, that makes me want more Peeps to tear into.

And I’m not even hungry! I just want to rip marshmallowy animals apart.

I think there may be something wrong with me.

2013/03/22

I Have Yet To Perish

Da Goddess @ 18:09

Meaning, I’m not dead yet.

I lived through the most recent sinus thing, even though there were times when I thought I’d rather not. I should be used to sinusy ailments by now. At 46, I’ve had approximately 10,000 sinus infections — or something near that number. It never ceases to surprise me when it happens, though. Le Sigh.

On to better things!

Like pitching woo in a canoe!

Also, I find it disturbing that the thrift store was trying to charge $47 for a pair of pants that are barely worth $4.70. In other words, I did NOT buy them.

2013/03/15

TJH: Inspire Game Reveal

Da Goddess @ 00:11

Okay, the item in the photo is indicated by the white arrow.

Harmonica holder for Ryan Bingham

And now you know.

I’ll try to come up with more “guess what this is” posts if you’re up to playing them. Once a week sound good?

2013/03/09

TJH: Inspire – Weekend Game

Da Goddess @ 04:57

Any guesses as to what this is?

Any Guesses?

2013/02/17

Labels

Da Goddess @ 06:05

On my list of pet peeves:

Labels.

My dad has a shampoo bottle from the local dollar store. On the back, the label claims the shampoo will work on the following hair types: fine, normal. The other hair type listed? Dry. Let’s get something straight here: you can have fine, dry hair. You can have fine, normal hair. You can also have fine, oily hair. Fine refers to the thickness of hair (fine or coarse…or fine or thick — either works). Dry, normal, and oily refer to the oil content of hair. The bar graph on the back of the bottle shouldn’t have tried to combine two things that didn’t go together and pretend they did.

Now, on to my dad’s hair gel. Yes, he has hair gel. He likes his hair to stay where he wants it. Anyhow, his hair gel claims it’ll make hair and scalp tingle with its overwhelming freshness. Ummm…hair doesn’t tingle. Your scalp can tingle because it has nerve endings all over it. However, hair strands do NOT have nerve endings. If they did, we’d all be in massive pain whenever we got haircuts, blow dried or curled our hair, and even just had the wind whip it around. So, no…the gel cannot make one’s hair tingly.

My rant, for now, is done.

Please feel free to add your label misfires to this list.

2012/12/22

Super Funny for a Saturday

Da Goddess @ 05:12

Just don’t read these if you’re around someone trying to sleep. Or if you’re doing anything solemn.

Promise me.

Okay?

Ready?

Have the tissues ready because I laughed so hard I had tears streaming out of my eyes.

Here ya go.

2012/12/21

Butt of the Joke

Da Goddess @ 04:15

Overheard: “But, it’s like there’s a crack in my ass!”

I just couldn’t.

Try as I might to not laugh, it couldn’t be helped.

2012/12/08

I Wish It Was Christmas Today

Da Goddess @ 03:48

2012/11/22

A Dancing Turkey is Never Not Funny

Da Goddess @ 22:20

Joey Turkey Dance

2012/11/17

Autobiography Title

Da Goddess @ 04:00

Mine will be “Dirty Nogoodnik”

Heard a local reporter say it on air the other night. It wasn’t the first time I’d ever heard the phrase, but it was certainly the first time I’d heard a reporter say it during a newscast. I laughed. And then I had to ask my dad if I’d heard correctly.

Sigh.

An alternate title will be “The Car Killer” as I’ve now had car problems twice since I’ve been back. With my dad’s car. First time was the front left axle breaking. Not my fault. It just happened while I was in the car. On the freeway. In the rain. Stuck in the middle of the freakin’ freeway in the rain in a car that can’t move isn’t my favorite place to be. Then last night, LD and I got in the car to run to the store for my dad and it wouldn’t start. Battery was dead. DEAD. Not even a whistle*. The nice guy who fixed my dad’s broken axle, which was caused by a bad motor mount (long story) stopped by the house and got us up and running. We ran to my sister’s house, grabbed laundry, and other stuff, left the car running the whole time. Then off to the grocery store, left motor running again. Got home, thinking the car had likely recharged the battery enough and turned the car off. Tried to restart it again. Not even a whistle*.

* begins at 1:41 and goes until 4:02

My alternate alternate title will be “I Don’t Suffer Bastards and So Are You!”

2012/10/22

Thurber on Wine

Da Goddess @ 04:00

It’s a na├»ve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you’ll be amused by its presumption.

James Thurber ~ Cartoon caption in New Yorker (March 27, 1937).

2012/10/21

Who’s That Knockin’ On My Door?

Da Goddess @ 01:39

The Meehoo with an Exactlywatt by Shel Silverstein

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Me!
Me who?

That’s right!
What’s right?
Meehoo!
That’s what I want to know!
What’s what you want to know?

Me, WHO?
Yes, exactly!
Exactly what?
Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!
Exactly what on a chain?

Yes!
Yes what?
No, Exactlywatt!

That’s what I want to know!
I told you – Exactlywatt!
Exactly WHAT?
Yes!
Yes what?

Yes, it’s with me!
What’s with you?
Exactlywatt – that’s what’s with me.
Me who?
Yes!

GO AWAY!

Knock knock…

2012/10/19

Standing

Da Goddess @ 04:00

Again, Shel Silverstein to the rescue!

Standing on my elbow
With my finger in my ear,
Biting on a dandelion
And humming kind of queer
While I watched a yellow caterpillar
Creeping up my wrist,
I leaned on a tree
And I said to me,
“Why am I doing this?”

Sisters Doin’ It For Themselves

Da Goddess @ 01:06

And as the music surges forth, we begin our montage of my sisters and I moving furniture, cleaning, cutting back plants, hauling out trash, painting the house, etc.

In lieu of actual video of that, we have a video of Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin singing the song that ran through my head for three days. Now it’s stuck in YOUR head. You may thank me later. Or actually, please thank me immediately in cash (paypal or direct credit payments) the amount of $29.75 for my storage unit that must be paid today, $14.95 + something for my domain renewal, $24+ for my Flickr renewal, $50 for my phone bill, and for anyone who contributes over $50, I will immediately give you a new, gentler song of mutual agreement to be stuck in your head.

Yeah, everything is due at once and I don’t get paid until November 15-ish.

We have let go the dream of contributing to the repair of my father’s car.

In the meantime, let’s get to the video!

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