2016/01/12

Waiting for Everything

Da Goddess @ 12:17

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I’ve yet to celebrate Christmas with my family.

I know, huh?!

We’re blaming it on the plague. Don’t know how I managed to catch it. I did, though.

Coughing, fevers, headaches, eventual sinus congestion, the works. The coughing was horrendous. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I’m still stuck with a little, lingering cough, but nothing like I had. And I’m not wanting to sleep 24/7, which is a nice change.

Other than that, my holidays were fantastic /sarcasm.

I can’t wait to get down to see my family now that I’m no longer contagious. I’m hoping we can manage to do so before February. Fingers crossed!

2015/12/21

TJH: Inspire – Ode to Joy

Da Goddess @ 08:12

Tis the season for joy, is it not?

Yesterday, while baking cookies with King Arthur’s daughter and grandkids, I’d noticed something interesting: an upside-down candy cane cookie was right next to a wreath cookie, which was next to a mitten cookie. Looking at the way they were laid out there, it read “Joy” to me. Everyone else came over to look and they saw the same thing. It was appropriate for the occasion, as well as for the season.

Which brings me to my next bit of joy: my kids.

Mojo was down from Fairbanks the 2nd-9th. We only got a bit of one day together, but it was wonderful to see her, AND LD, again. Yes, they both met up with us at a little place down Temecula way. I’d told them we were going to do some photos for Grammy and Papa and they were cool with that. Here are a couple shots from that day.

Mojo 1

My sweet kids

LD 1

My Mojo girl

LD 2

Mojo 2

Handsome LD

A wonderful pair

Beautiful Mojo

2015/11/15

Recovery

Da Goddess @ 04:27

With all that’s been going on in my life (family stuff, faire, cat training, etc.), I forgot all about mydomain registration being due. As I’m sure you noticed, we went dark.

I feel so stupid! This isn’t like me to forget these things. I briefly contemplated not renewing at all and hanging up my blogging suit for good. But, after 20 seconds, I realized there was no way I could do without this site.

And so I’m back. Thanks for sticking around while I got my shit together!

Back to business as usual in a few moments.

2015/11/03

The Lost Sister

Da Goddess @ 02:09

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but in case I didn’t or if you missed it — I have another sister. Yes, I have my older sister, C., and my younger sister, J. But there’s also another sister. One I’ve never met.

When my mom was young, before she and my father got married, she had a child. She gave that child up for adoption. She’d named her, but her adoptive parents gave her a name of their own choosing. My mom never knew what that name was. She said her goodbye to that little girl and went forward with her life.

Years later, this child tracked down my mom. She didn’t want anything other than to know who she was, get some background on her, and, of course, get medical information from her.

I was the last one in the family to find out about her. My mom thought I might not understand. But Mom did finally tell me about her and I always wondered about her. B., as she was named, was a mystery. A mystery I wanted to solve. Or, at least, explore.

It’s been many years since the revelation of this mysterious sister and now I’m finally going to get some answers to the questions I have. Turns out she’s living in California, not far from my younger sister. She walked into the veterinary clinic where J. works and, in the course of chatting, discovered they were related. B. was suddenly a reality for us.

J. called to tell me about her and wanted to know if I was interested in meeting her. Hell to the YES! And now our journey of discovery begins.

I’ll keep you posted on our progress!

2015/11/02

23, Kiddo

Da Goddess @ 03:08

I was going to go with “23 Skiddo” except that it technically means, “get the hell outta here! ” And, really, that’s no good enough for my girl. Nope. Not good enough for her at all.

My Mojo is 23 today.

As I always seem to say, it feels like only yesterday that I help her in my arms. My mom was there in the O.R. with me as Mojo made her way into the world. It was the most amazing moment of my life! This glorious being from heaven above was gracing us with her existence. She changed my life in the best way possible. With Mojo, I finally understood what love was. I finally found my world of wonder.

There’s never been a day since her birth that I don’t thank God for her.

Honey, never forget what a blessing your are to so many people! Happy birthday, my darling daughter. May each day bring you new opportunities to be the best you can be. May you always have dreams. May you always have wonder. And know that you ALWAYS are loved.

2015/10/18

Training Day

Da Goddess @ 17:30

harness and leash training a 4 year old

My current project is training Fletch to feel comfortable in a harness and on a leash so we can take him with us to faire. That’s the plan. Fletch, however, is decidedly undecided about the entire endeavor.

He doesn’t mind being in the harness, thanks to treats and patience. Being outside is sort of okay, too, but just barely. Put Mr. Kitty down on the sidewalk and he loses all confidence. He turns into a wimpy cat, barely moving, almost crawling/slinking his way closer to me. Treats don’t help quite as well when he’s on the sidewalk.

Thankfully, we have time to get him used to the idea of being outdoors, on a leash, and dealing with the myriad of scents and sounds.

God willing, Fletch will soon be a great little travel buddy.

2015/10/05

Snow No!

Da Goddess @ 15:32

Mojo is experiencing her first autumn in Alaska and she’s learning how to deal with snow. Her text the other night went something like this:

I spun out a few times and thought I was going to roll the car a couple times. I was only going 30mph. It’s scary.

I told her to slow down. Whatever she thinks is a safe speed, she should reduce by at least 5mph.

I remember my early days of driving in snow while living in Colorado. I’m sure I pissed off a lot of my fellow drivers by going as slow as I did, but I was determined not to have an accident! I did well. I managed to avoid all the dangers of snow and ice… until I had Mojo.

There was the day I’d just dropped her off at day care when I slid through an intersection, up into a driveway, and bumped into a parked car. No damage to either vehicle, but plenty of damage to my nerves. And then there was the morning I was driving her to the hospital for surgery. She was having tubes placed in her ears. We were on the freeway and a small patch of black ice caused the car to slide right into the back end of another car. Thankfully the was no damage to either auto, but I felt so horrible knowing how much worse it could have been for us. The very idea that Mojo could have been injured was enough for me to start thinking about moving back to California.

Hmm ow my baby girl is all grown up and facing snow and ice on her own. I don’t think I like that! But there’s nothing I can do other than pray for her safety and tell her to slow down.

Parenthood ain’t for sissies.

2015/10/03

He’s 19

Da Goddess @ 15:01

Little Dude is 19 now. One-nine. How on earth is this possible? Didn’t I just give birth to this kid?

All I know is he’s the kind of kid any parent would be proud to have. He’s kind, thoughtful, sweet, smart, creative, and funny. I think he was destined to be a gentle soul. I totally won the kid lottery with him.

So much of his life is still ahead of him and I’m looking forward to seeing what comes next.

2015/09/27

Vanity, Thy Name Is Fletch

Da Goddess @ 02:35

My darling boy, you are one of the silliest cats I’ve ever known. You are also one of the clumsiest cats I’ve ever known. And yet, you are also one of the vainest cats I’ve ever known.

Fletch doesn’t do it often, but when he does, he does it for hours. Doing what, you ask? Examining himself in the mirror. He’s prone to sitting in front of the mirror for long periods of time. Adjusting his position, this way and that. Stretching his neck. Moving his tail. Turning his body. Practicing poses. He’s like a teenage girl prentending to be a model. When he finds the one pose he prefers for the session, he gives himself a good long look in the mirror, blinks, good long look again, slightly turns, adjusts the pose to get it right, looks at himself in the mirror again, and then when he gets it exactly right, he stares. Stares. And then he stares some more.

I stand off to the side and watch him do this. I try to get his attention in every conceivable way, but he just wants to gaze upon himself. His very lovely self. Not even the promise of food can lure him away when he’s in one of his vanity trances. One of these days, I’ll record him doing this and post it online. One of these days. We’ll see how that works for me.

2015/09/11

September 11 – 14 Years Later

Da Goddess @ 03:46

When we think of this day, we often focus on the loss and the pain. It’s very natural for us to do so because it was a very painful time for our country. So many people lost so very much. But a lot of good has risen from the ashes of that dark day. Here’s a story from Bob Dotson:

He no longer put off anything that brought them joy. “If we’re lying on the floor and all of a sudden Victoria says, ‘Daddy, I want to go to the park,’ I’m like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to go to the park.’ That’s what I’m thinking, but I say, ‘Let’s go. We’re going to the park.’ ”

Robert shouted “Hang on, guys!” as the kids squealed with laughter. They were riding in a grocery cart, careening across the lot toward dad’s big SUV. “Why should I deprive my children from going shopping?” Robert said. “I see all the other mothers going shopping with their kids. Why can’t I do it?”

He raced alongside the grocery cart, jumped on its rear axle and pushed with a powerful leg. The children exploded with laughter again. “When my kids smile, the terrorists lose,” Robert said with a grin. “The people who killed Janet wanted to destroy our happy lives. They lost. We won.”

In his book American Story, Dotson also tells of a Newfoundland town that took in stranded passengers from several planes that were forced to land. It’s a beautiful story. The entire book is full of them. To say I recommend this book highly is an understatement. It’s what every American should read. Most particularly today. Go get yourself a copy and let each story remind you why America is so special, why we triumph even when faced with horrifying tragedy like September 11, 2001.

Today, while I remember the lives lost and those impacted by the the actions of hateful people, I will also remember the goodness and strength we found along the road to recovery. Neighbor helping neighbor. Children leading their parents. Strangers holding hands and offering whatever they could to ease another’s burdens. We have triumphed because that’s what America is all about.

Yes, I still remember and I still grieve, but I also see the promise of America through the veil of tears.

Always remember, and always hope.

2015/09/08

Another Star in the Heavens

Da Goddess @ 03:07

Sunday morning began with a phone call I couldn’t have anticipated in a hundred years. My friend Becca had just died. Becca. BECCA! No way! No. Just. NO!

Her boyfriend told me she’d been admitted to the hospital on Friday with a(nother?) broken leg. Or perhaps her previous break had problems. He saw her on Saturday. Sunday morning, her aunt calls to say she died. How does this happen? Why?

I have four sent texts saved on my phone. One was to her and her son after faire this past spring. It read #pickle. If you knew her son, you’d be laughing your ass off right now. He’s a special young man. Aspergers. Just becoming a teen. And now his rock, his only light is gone. I’m crying for him, his loss, and the fact that his mom is gone from us. Each and every time I think of B, I cry because everything she did she did for him.

All of us are stunned by this news. It’s not right. It’s…it’s so wrong in so many ways.

This makes two friends I’ve lost this summer. Both amazing women. Both some of the most incredible spirits I’ve ever encountered. Our little corner at faire is now going to be their corner. Forever their corner.

Becca, my friend, please know we’re missing you and we’ll do whatever we can to help your boy. We love you!

2015/08/15

The Gentle Goodbye

Da Goddess @ 02:08

International Cat Day model Celia

This is going to be a rather quiet and somewhat sad weekend for us. Come Monday morning, we’ll be taking Celia in to the vet’s to be euthanized. She’s been so sick these past few months and her treatments don’t last as long and are becoming more difficult to give her. So it was decided yesterday afternoon that the kindest thing we could do would be to let her just fall asleep and never wake up again. We’ll cry (I already have — several times) and we’ll say our goodbyes and be there as she goes.

The vet had listed a few options of treatment, all costly, of course, but none of the courses of treatment were guaranteed to help her at all, or to help her long term, or to even heal her. If we were rich, sure we might consider some of the options, but eventually we would have to make the tough decision and do what was, ultimately, the best thing for HER.

I think she knows what’s up. She’s come out of deep hiding and is in visible seclusion instead. She’s no longer flinching when I approach her because she, again, seems to know we’re not going to bother her with meds any further. All I want for her is to come out, spend time where’s she’s most comfortable, and be her lovely self as we prepare ourselves emotionally.

Celia is our gorgeous, furry princess. After she got over her initial shyness and distrust, she became very loving and exceedingly insistent we pet her. It was funny. Whatever it took to get us to bend to her will, well, she was willing to do it. And so were we. On the rare days when she was in play mode, Celia was hysterical. She’d chase and leap and skitter across the floor, she’d meow and make a big deal out of it. And then, five minutes later, she’d be done. Most fun was watching her play with Fletch. They were funny as hell together! Fletch loved it and he was always sad when she’d end the game sooner than he wanted.

There will never be another cat as beautiful as Celia. There will never be another cat as unique as she is. We’re going to miss our Baby Girl.

2015/07/19

Hot… and… Muggy

Da Goddess @ 23:51

Hot and muggy trending high in this part of the coutry. We are not fans. Not in the least.

As far as my meds go, I’m settling in with the higher dose of Oxycontin and having no real problems with the Baclofen. Well, I’m a bit sleepy on all of this, but that’s to be expected. I have noticed, however, that I tend to kind of fall out in the middle of typing or watching television. If l begin to drift off here, you’ll likely see random letters appear in no particular order. kkkkdddddddoooosssssssds]sssssssss yeah, kind of like that. I don’t even know it’s happening until I snap to and feel the heaviness ooi in my fingers and have to fight to get them to let upllllllllllllllllkkkkkkkkkkkklllll laasddddddddddddddddd

It’s kind of an odd sensation: that total disconnect with all the rest of the world at the drop of a hat. It’s very disconcerting, to say the least. I sort of nod off during conversations, watching TV, trying to type or play a game. Sometimes I’m just llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll do that. I do a lot of backtracking with the TV. And convos. If you saw how many times I’ve had to backspace this post alone, you’d be amazed.

Well, I’m going to lie down and hope I get some sleep. The sleep I’ve had since starting the Baclofen is working out well. I still wake up with numbness and tingling extremities and pain, but the sleep has been significantly more restful than I’ve had in ages. I”ll take it!

Oh, one more thing (I’ve turned into Columbo all of a sudden): My mom just turned 80 this weekend. Have a slug of some beverage of your choosing in her honor, please. We’re going to keep celebrating each and every event with my parents now that they’re both octogenarians.

Okay, now I’m really going to lie down, listen to the rain, and fall asleep.

2015/07/16

Limbo

Da Goddess @ 02:00

God bless my doctors for working so hard to get me back up on my feet and reduce my pain to a level that doesn’t require increasing my pain med dosage to something that should knock me out cold for a week (on JUST ONE PILL). I’ve been doing a lot of crying lately out of sheer frustration and because of the pain. Something has to happen soon to reduce my pain to a much more manageable level. Yesterday, the doc read me his last visit report and told me exactly what he was going to say in the next one. If his drastic demands are denied this time, I’m afraid I might make like a volcano and erupt. Violently. And I’ll ground all air traffic within a thousand miles from the debris. Granted, it’ll likely only be my blood and guts and such, but still…

Current meds:

Oxyconxxx 30mg twice a day
Oxycodxxx 10/325mg every 6hrs as needed
Baclxxxx 10mg three times a day
Cymbxxxx 60mg once, at bedtime
Amxxxx 10mg at bedtime
Enough Colace to ease a plugged up elephant’s bowels but, apparently, not enough for me

Had to drop Flexexxx because I’ve blown up like a doughy balloon while taking it. Not fun. And, of course, when I went to the drugstore to fill new scripts I thought I’d grab a diuretic to help rid myself of the extra fluid that’s caused my lower half to resemble a whole lot of sausage. They didn’t have it. They don’t carry it. They used to, but they no longer feel it’s something they feel good having in the store. They sell liquor and smokes, but they won’t carry OTC diuretics. Go fucking figure.

On top of all this, it’s been hot and muggy. I mean HOT AND MUGGY! HOT AND MUGGY!

Mama ain’t havin’ fun.

2015/07/04

Happy Independence Day!

Da Goddess @ 13:39

Freedom is not just another word for nothin’ left to lose. It’s a dream, and a dream worth fighting for. And 239 years ago, it was proclaimed to be worth the risk by brave men who proudly signed their names upon a piece of paper we call the Declaration of Independence. They risked life and limb to give us the freedom we all too often take for granted.

I wish you all a wonderful day, however you choose to spend it!

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