2010/04/13

PROMPTuesday #102 – Upon My Return

DaGoddess @ 03:55

“Who did you think you knew but didn’t?” Deb asks. Simple question, with a very complicated answer these days.

I thought I knew myself better. I thought I had a handle on everything. I thought I was feeling stronger. At the very least, I thought I’d found level ground. So color me surprised when, following a wonderful weekend full of laughter and smiles, I discovered that my “it doesn’t matter if I worry about it or not, it’s going to happen anyway and I plan to enjoy every moment while I can” attitude let me down. I feel a little weepy and I feel stupid for feeling weepy. The situation is what it is. I’ve straightened out all the details to make what needs to happen…happen. It’s all cool. But I’m stupidly sitting about and wiping tears away for naught.

Who else did I think I knew? Many of those closest to me. Many of those I’ve counted on and looked to for comfort, support, and understanding. Oh well. I can’t change anything or anyone except how I respond to things as they arise. I have, too. But yesterday has shaken my confidence in my ability to “maintain”. Sigh.

Today will be a day of shaking off the melancholia and digging in a bit deeper, finding new resolve. I will inhale. I will exhale. I will repeat that all day long. And I will hold my head up high knowing that I am moving forward without a “poor, poor pitiful me” sandwich board weighing me down. I’ve already taken care of business…now I must get BACK to the business of LIVING. And I shall.

Go check out Deb’s PROMPTuesday. I’ve not participated in a long time, but this hit me over the head in a big way and provided me the perfect opportunity to rearrange the tables at my pity party. Guess what? The party is OVER. Thanks, Deb!

4 Comments

  1. Ummm…. I know what you mean. The older I become the more I discover things about myself; the layers we usually never see… the way others see us… how we handle stress and good times… everything. And it’s not all good… hardly.

    As for others, I’ve become philosophical about them as well. Some have been knocked off their pedestals, but that’s fine, as they shouldn’t have been put there in the first place.

    Sorry this is all ‘I’, but truly – I can relate.

    Don’t beat yourself up too much; you’re only human. :hug:

    Comment by Pam — 2010/04/13 @ 06:40

  2. I’m here if you need to vent.

    I actually stopped by because I thought of you this morning. I was listening to a photography podcast while working, Candid Frame, of an interview with photographer Jeff Dunas. Among his repertoire is blues photography. I don’t know if you have an iPod of any sort, but you can also go here http://thecandidframe.blogspot.com/.

    Comment by Miachelle — 2010/04/13 @ 09:04

  3. Dude. Doooooooooooood.

    I just saw this…and only b/c I searched “”PROMPT” on your blog. B/c I wanted to re-visit past posts.

    I sooooooooooo relate to this.

    And that’s all I can say for now.

    Love you!

    Hope all is well.

    Comment by San Diego Momma — 2010/05/04 @ 21:18

  4. I wish I could say I was on top of the Prompts, but alas and alack, I am not.

    Love you, too, Deb!

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2010/05/05 @ 02:10

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