2009/04/16

81 x 96 and 8 Million Other Things

DaGoddess @ 21:00

That’s Little Dude’s answer to the Harper’s Island commercials and that “one by one” sound byte we hear every two seconds. In order to hear how we say it, simply clench your teeth, pretend you’re being strangled, and then say “one by one”. Yep. Until this week. LD’s taken to saying “81 by 96” whenever the commercial gets to that point.

We’re obviously NOT watching the mini-series or “TV event” or whatever you want to call it.

Yeah. So, I woke up this morning feeling very out of sorts. My heart was thundering in my chest. I felt major unease. I couldn’t put my finger on what was really wrong and I still can’t.

Money? Oh yeah. Hell yeah! That’s a huge issue at the moment.

Physical recovery? Yeah, that’s part of it. I’m feeling pretty good these days, but I know once I start physical therapy there will be a lot of new challenges and that’s coming up pretty soon. Until I finish with that, I’m not officially cleared to go back to work. Not that I have a regular job lined up anymore. (Let’s add that one to the list.)

Taking care of the kid adequately? It weighs heavily on me.

My folks? Oh yeah. I don’t know what’s going to happen with them. Things have been not going well with them. It worries me deeply. It seems like they’ve both suddenly aged a great deal and last night, one of my dad’s friends asked me what was going on with him. It’s becoming apparent to others now, too. As this lady said, “he just looks like he’s fading away.” Yep. She even mentioned that he didn’t look so steady sometimes. I thought it was just me who noticed it, but it’s not. My mom, well, that’s been much more obvious. It breaks my heart.

There are other things, of course. There always are.

In the back of my mind all day, I kept hearing Bob Seger, “Woke last night to the sound of thunder, how far off, I sat and wondered…” Except I knew the thunder was coming from within. What I don’t know is what it means or when the internal storm will hit the hardest, where or how.

Color me perplexed and uneasy.

9 Comments

  1. I hate that feeling. Just remember, whatever happens, you will get through it and come out on the other side.

    Faith.

    Comment by Pam — 2009/04/17 @ 05:44

  2. I like what Pam said. Worry and life trials are real places, but we can’t allow ourselves to hang out there too long. We all have “lists”… I understand.

    Comment by Chris — 2009/04/17 @ 06:15

  3. hoo boy! It was another long night. This time it was LD who got up early and was freaking out. It’s gotta be the post-winds worry going around.

    At least this morning wasn’t plagued with a clogged toilet, “Mom, I think the toilet’s plugged” is what he tells me and the water is a whole millimeter from the edge of the rim. Then we followed that with milk spilled on the carpet, and, oh by the way, a power strip, which started crackling and popping.

    That was fun.

    Today was much quieter. Just a cold night last night.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/17 @ 08:11

  4. Maybe Mercury is retrograde, or whatever the astrologists are saying these days. I don’t keep up anymore, but there are times when everything seems to go wrong.

    All you can do is hunker down and weather the storm.

    With us, of course. :grouphug:

    Comment by Pam — 2009/04/17 @ 08:15

  5. of course with you! :grouphug:

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/17 @ 08:18

  6. or you can pack LD & your ownself up, jump in the ground transportation unit, internally powered, mobile, wheeled, turn left at I-5 and stop when you run out of blacktop. As long as your heading north, you’ll get to me. When ya run out of pavement, call me and tell me what you’re looking at. I can give you directions to my refuge from there. Spring is just starting to spring up here. 16 hours of daylight, mini moose everywhere, and still cool enough at night to get close……..

    Comment by p2 — 2009/04/17 @ 17:09

  7. I’d have to turn right onto I-5, but that’s a mere detail.

    Don’t tempt me, P2. Don’t tempt me.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/17 @ 17:25

  8. What you wrote about your parents, I know only too well with my own. Alan’s Mom passed away just a few weeks ago. We still can’t believe she’s gone. As we’ve been dealing with all the estate issues, my parents have had the talk with me about their final wishes.

    You want them to last forever. You feel that they will. But then you see them start to fade, and you have to even question your own mortality. It’s hard, I know.

    ((Big Hugs))

    Comment by DogsDontPurr — 2009/04/18 @ 14:16

  9. Marcie, I’m sorry to hear about Alan’s mom. :hug:

    And, yeah. I mean, it’s hard to imagine our folks aging. It’s not that I don’t think it would never happen, it’s more that they’ve always just been there and they’ve always been so vibrant. I’m not ready to see them fading. I don’t want their ligts to slowly dim.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/18 @ 14:31

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