Two-fer Tuesday: A Whole Year Later
It’s been an entire year since Mom died and not a day goes by I don’t think of her. How could I not? She was more than just a parent; she was my hero, my inspiration, my guide, and my friend.
I still remember the phone call from my sister around 0130 a year ago. I knew it was coming and I knew it was the best thing for her. And yet, it still gutted me. It took a while to really process it, but the hurt was there. The tears…oh, those tears. Of course, yes, I cried my damn eyes out off and on for…I don’t know how long.
The moment she got her diagnosis, we all knew the clock was ticking down. The only goal for any of us was to make whatever time Mom had left as comfortable and as pleasant as possible. We were so grateful the assisted living facility where she lived gave us such freedom to be with her. The pandemic was still an issue, but we were lucky this happened at a time when we were able to visit and just be together. A lot of families were denied that for far too long. I can’t imagine Mom being alone at the end of her life. Thank God she wasn’t!
I still see her in those last weeks, surrounded by her friends and the small family we are at this point. Her laughter is with me even now. (As I write this, a hummingbird just flew up to me and hovered a moment. I believe it was sent by her to let me know she’s watching over me. I have her painting of a hummingbird as one of my most prized possessions.)
I hope when it’s my time to go that I can go the way she did: with the dignity and love she had, on her terms.
Mom will always be missed so very much. Her love of life and her joy in creating — painting and making a warm, welcoming environment for those she treasured — it was a big part of who she was and how she chose to live. There will never be another like her, but I’m so glad I got to be her daughter.
I love you, Mom!
These are some songs my mom loved and, especially this first one, were the songs Mom wanted for her funeral/memorial. For years. YEARS.
These last two songs are just from me and were songs Mom and I laughed and joked about.
Your mom had/has excellent taste in music! Have you posted a picture of the hummingbird painting? I don’t remember.
Big, giant hugs!
Comment by pam — 2022/07/31 @ 03:50
I’m not sure. I’ll post it once I figure out how to with the new version of WP.
Oh yeah! The update was necessary because there was an exploit that allowed spam to show up in the middle of posts. Remember when I complained about that? It. Was. Real.
Comment by Da Goddess — 2022/07/31 @ 22:28