Da Goddess

Ugh.

I didn’t mind the whole Academy Awards red carpet parade of pretty people. I enjoy entertainment as much as anyone else. But, when I see certain celebrities, I heave and fight to keep my finger off the mute button.

Muting did come in handy when a certain late night chat show host from another country appeared, I had to do something just to not hear his voice. Sadly, Rebel Wilson was also silenced (and I enjoy her). I also couldn’t look at the guy in question because he really irks me THAT MUCH. Thankfully, their bit was short and I could resume watching and listening to the show.

Everything was going fine until Joaquin Phoenix rambled on about giving people second chances, being kind to the earth, and all the other sentiments that were in no way related to winning an award (except for his mea culpa about having been “difficult” in the past) and he went long over his 45 seconds of speech time. While what he said wasn’t awful in any way, shape, or form, it was just out of nowhere jibber-jabber. Okay, fine. Good for him. Awkward moment passed.

Then, ol’ squinty won for her portrayal of Judy Garland. And she rambled. I can’t listen to or look at her for any length of time (much like the man who made a bad adaptation of a certain movie about felines even worse with his very presence). She’s nails on a chalkboard to me. And she fucking rambled. No one cut her off at 45 seconds.

Those two circus poodles were indulged by the producers. None of us wanted that. None of us needed to listen to their nonsense. Thank the people who helped and get off the stage. But, no. That didn’t happen.

Worse, still, was when Parasite won best picture and theeeen someone in the control booth decided to dim lights and try to rush the makers of the film offstage. The audience rebelled! It was a thing of beauty to hear the audience boo the control booth and then chant for letting Parasite‘s creators get their due. And it happened.

In a very ridiculously white- and male-dominated awards season, something wonderful and unexpected happened: a South Korean movie took top honors. The cast, the crew, the creators…it was an amazing moment and they deserved the time to celebrate and be celebrated and say what they wanted to say without being rushed. Joaquin and Reneé had more than their fair share of time, it seems only right to allow a large group — winning the biggest award of the night — extra time. They got it, but only because the people in attendance demanded it. It was just stunning to watch.

In case you don’t know anything about the movie, here’s a quick take:

The lives of two families — one wealthy, one struggling — intersect in “Parasite,” with a young man masquerading as a college-educated tutor for a rich family in Seoul, South Korea. As the story unfolds, much of what is on the surface isn’t exactly what it seems.

Bong Joon-ho and Sin-ae Kwak deserved their time in the spotlight having achieved so much, including the first foreign language film to win an Oscar for best picture. The message of the film, especially in this insane current timeline of ours, is something most of us can relate to. It is and isn’t “just” a South Korean film. It’s a film for all of us that just happens to have come from South Korea, by South Koreans.

For once, I’m glad Hollywood stood up and demanded fair treatment for these filmmakers and artists. It made my heart sing!

I don’t know about you, but I love seeing the longshot make it. I love seeing the joy on their faces and feeling the true sense of gratitude they express.

After all was said and done, the Oscars closed with a victory that felt good and right and helped ease the painful overindulgence by those who didn’t seem to know when to just say thank you and move on.

P.S. I want to add: if the producers really want to trim some time, why not simply name a nominee, show their clip, and go on to the next one instead of showing a mishmash of clips and THEN announcing the names. They could also trim the opening number. Or not. But they could definitely cut some of the awkward “banter” between presenters. Most of the jokes don’t land (rarely do they land). And finally, they could try having the presenters run from backstage to the microphone and then have everyone run offstage once the speechifying is done. Granted, some of the outfits and shoes aren’t conducive to such speed, but it would be infinitely more fun than listening to awkward and forced jocularity between people who quite often have no connection other than them both being in the movie industry.

P.P.S. I didn’t say anything last year, but best actor went to Rami Malek. It was an Oscar really meant for the late Freddie Mercury. Let’s face it: Bohemian Rhapsody wasn’t that great a movie. The only reason so many people saw it was because they loved Freddie and Queen. Rami wasn’t Freddie until the last little bit of the movie. In fact, the movie wasn’t very much a movie until the last little bit of the movie. Unfortunately, this is often how it goes with awards shows: the best don’t often win.

P.P.P.S. I’m done now. I’m getting over a stomach bug and this little bit of mild ranting has knocked me out. Congrats to Bong Joon-ho, Sin-ae Kwak, and everyone involved with Parasite for a well-deserved win!