To Kill a Mockingbird

Da Goddess @ 03:00

Atticus Finch said it’s a sin to kill a mockingbird, but he never met the asshat living in my tree. He also didn’t live during the time of car alarms, which are the preferred call of this particular miscreant.

I won’t actually kill the mockingbird, but I’m not opposed to serving up a big ol’ heap of “shut the fuck up!” on a silver platter.

This mockingbird in our ficus, well, his current occupation is night singing. Every night. Hour after hour, he continues with his nutso shrieking.

In addition to the car alarm impression, he does a particularly annoying crow, parrots, DUCKS(!), and he’s even managed to kind of hit upon meowing.

WTF is with this bird? Why our tree? Look, I get that he’s looking for a mate. And I get that he’s trying to “outsing” the other local males (which can be heard just down the street). I just don’t understand WHY our tree! Yes, our tree is lush and full of other birds, but whyyyyyy us?!?

I have no answers. I have a headache, but no answers. And my patience are running thin.

We’ve tried shaking the branches while he’s mid-song. He stopped singing for 30 seconds. We’ve hissed at him. He trills and squawks back. I’d let Fletch at him but 1) it’s dark and 2) Fletch would likely come away with more damage than the bird.

At this point, I’m open to suggestions from anyone and everyone.

Please. Please help end this nightmare.


  1. I really have no advice. For many years I lived next to a wetlands/wild life sanctuary. There were many mockingbirds (with crazy talent!)as well as tons of night birds and squeaking ground squirrels. It used to drive me absolutely mad. Amazingly, after 10 years or so, I finally got used to it. Now that we’ve moved away, I actually miss it! (And I even miss hearing the planes come and go from LAX! We only lived about 2 miles away, but directly under a flight path…so it was loud. But I miss it. Weird, I know!) Good luck!

    Comment by DogsDontPurr — 2017/04/12 @ 17:03

  2. I understand how you could miss the sound of the planes. I felt the same after living next to Mira Mar Marine Air Base. It becomes a part of the fabric of your life. Much like cotton. Lol

    I don’t normally mind the bird sounds, but this bird… he’s something else! I’m surprised the other birds in the tree haven’t killed him yet.

    Comment by Da Goddess — 2017/04/14 @ 15:44

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