Da Goddess

I went in today for my two week recheck with the pain doc. I had everyone poking at my huge knots on my neck and trying to figure out what would most help me. Y’see, the knot on the left side of my neck (up near the hairline) has receded a bit, but the new one on the right has grown. I know it’s not really all that big, but it hurts like something huge. Something the size of an emu egg. My doctors? They could feel them. And my doctors? They are awesome. I have achieved a measure of relief from the insane pain.

Two words: trigger point injections. Yeah, I know it’s three words, but whatever. I’m not one giant ball of pain at the moment. There is pain. But it’s at a manageable level. I can actually feel other areas of pain. Which, as strange as it may sound, is also a relief. It’s really difficult to convey an accurate picture of one’s pain when one has such a concentrated area that overrides everything else. Right now I can pinpoint exactly where everything hurts and how much it hurts. I can deal with that.

While they were injecting me, I was trying not to curse and punch, which amused them. “Go ahead, curse all you want. We’ve heard it before.” I mumbled something about it not being too bad, interjecting an occasional “Oh gaaawwwwd! Mmrrrmmksgjlaksd!” I knew the worst would be the last two up near the hairline. The one on the left was horrible. The one on the right? As soon as the needle entered it was as if the pain had an escape route. Yes, it hurt. But not like the other side. Go figure. Six, eight, twelve jabs with a teeny tiny needle did oh so much!

I wept with gratitude when they were all done with me. I had honest-to-God relief! I can feel areas starting to come back to life, but nothing as bad as it was.

Another two weeks on Oxy. Now that I know how much better I do on it, I’m not afraid of it.

At the moment, all I want to do is kind of sit here and enjoy the relief I do have, so that’s exactly what I’m doing. Heat and humidity are locked out of the house. I have plenty of recorded TV to watch. King Arthur made the most insanely yummy carnitas last night and we’re having those leftovers now. The cats are relaxed. The laundry we have left to do will just have to wait. This moment has been long awaited, much deserved, and I’m going to make the most of it.