Rollercoaster
Life is like a rollercoaster these days. I start feeling a little better, steadier, and back off the meds a bit. And then the pain creeps back in. It’s frustrating. So I slowly add back in a med at a time, limiting them so I know which helps more than the others.
It’s a tough endeavor to break the pain cycle and do it effectively. And do it so it doesn’t fall off quickly, setting off on the cycle all over again. I really don’t know how to make it stick at this point.
Granted, I’m not in tears 100% of the time right now. That’s GOOD. But there’s a huge uptick in pain to the point where it’s threatening to cause, at the very least, welling up.
Heat packs. Ice packs. Meds. Up and walking. Then back to the big comfy couch or the recliner. That’s the pattern at this point.
I’ve slept a lot over the last 10 days. The sleep isn’t always very restful and the dreams are weird. That’s the nature of pain. I just go with what feels best and hope more of it will increase my odds of healing me enough to take me to a level of pain I can live with.
So that’s where I am right now. If you need me, you’ll likely find me on the sofa or in my chair, heat or ice pack in place, meds on board. It’s not exciting or glamorous, but it’s what I got to work with.
As long as you keep improving, climbing that hill is worth it.
{{{Hugs}}}
Comment by pam — 2014/08/04 @ 04:18
I know exactly what you are going through. It is so difficult. When my doctor flippantly asks how the pain meds are working, I always tell him it’s only enough to stop the screaming! It took a longggg time to get him to prescribe the combo I’m on now, and it’s barely enough. Definitely not enough to cover really bad days. Argh. And I’m still playing with the timing, as you are. How long is too long to wait? Is it time yet? Etc. and so on.
Sending all good vibes your way. Praying that you find relief and have more good days than bad. ((Hugs))
Comment by DogsDontPurr — 2014/08/04 @ 11:26
All I can offer is sympathy. I know what my back problem is capable of inflicting, but, thankfully, it is manageable, so I can imagine what you are going through. I hope it eases up soon.
Comment by The Gray Monk — 2014/08/04 @ 12:16
Thank you, everyone!
I’ve been so reluctant to take more meds or to up my meds to anything heavier and have thus been suffering through flare ups to the point of exhaustion. This is the first time I’ve given in. I can thank King Arthur for that. It’s so much better to have that mirror held to your face and you can see how much the pain is wearing away at you and at others. I’d pretty well talked myself into “simply living with it” and doing just that. But giving in and accepting that I needed something stronger at times like this has been a huuuuuge step for me. Maybe now I won’t have as many flare ups.
Hugs to all!
Comment by Da Goddess — 2014/08/05 @ 03:54