My Life as a Slug

Da Goddess @ 20:48

So here I sit, for last — gah, I gotta do math? (I’ll show you!), however many days. My back has been miserable. MISERABLE. But I’m slowly getting back to feeling better. Not normal. Just. Better.

The meds are doing what they’re supposed to do. It still hurts, but not as much. Each day is a tiny bit better than the last. However, there are some crazy fun (NOT!) side effects. Side effects like constipation. Side effects like swelling in my legs and feet. Side effects like constipation. Oh, I already mentioned that? It’s that bad. If I take anything, anything at all, I chase it with stool softeners. Doesn’t matter what it is, it could be Benadryl, I will still take stool softeners with it. Because it’s like there’s a boulder in my gut. I keep waiting for my own mini-ressurection. I mean, I remember this from when I had surgery years ago. The dachshund, the “broken” toilet bowl, the barking. (I tried finding that post but it’s gone, gone, gone in the lost archives, I guess.)

Anyhow, it’s not fun, this constipation thing. It is, however, somewhat exciting because each time I go to the bathroom it’s a bit like playing Wheel of Fortune.

I’ll let you just think on that for a bit. No need for graphic details from me.

Basically, my lack of movement (actual physical movement) is contributing to my other lack of movement. All that comes down to my back and the medications and my general feeling of noooooooooooooooooooo! It’s just how life goes sometimes.

While I started off with a full head of steam for this post, it’s quickly dwindled to a mere trickle as I wandered off to find my dachshund poop post. I’m easily distracted these days. I don’t remember where I was headed other than to complain how crappy (or not) life is at the moment. I’m sore. I’m tired. I’m stopped up. I’m cranky. Blah blah blah.

P.S. I had to laugh last night as I watched a show and one of the people kept saying her mother had “installed a love of cooking in me.” At least twice I yelled at the screen, “it’s INSTILLED! INSTILLED! INSTILLED!” but the woman didn’t seem to hear me. I have lots of time to ponder such things at length and it’s not as fun as it sounds.


  1. :(


    Tenderly, of course.

    Comment by pam — 2014/07/29 @ 10:55

  2. Thanks, Pam.

    Of course, as soon as I posted this, everything started to work its way down. Gah. No rest for the wicked.

    Comment by Da Goddess — 2014/07/29 @ 17:36

  3. When I first started taking the heavy duty pain meds, I had the constipation issue too. Ugh! The stool softeners and laxatives didn’t really work for me. But then I discovered sugar free candy…the one’s like Werther’s that have a warning that “excessive consumption may have a laxative effect.” That worked! I’d just have a few of those throughout the day and all was good.

    Oddly, I don’t have the problem anymore. I guess my body finally acclimatized. But I’m also able to move around more, now that I have less pain. So there’s that.

    Comment by DogsDontPurr — 2014/07/30 @ 12:16

  4. yes, they have the sorbitol and that is what causes diarrhea. My secret magic poop inducer is Stacy’s Pita Chips Sea Salt flavor.

    I’ve had a quiet day now. Some cramping, but no diarrhea today. Actually, no poop at all. So, I’ll have to eat some pita chips, I guess.

    I’ve cut back on the meds at this point. I take them either once or twice a day, but I try to keep them to a minimum unless there’s more pain popping up.

    There’s a break in the clouds on the horizon and I’m looking forward to that sunshine finding me soon.

    Comment by Da Goddess — 2014/07/30 @ 22:47

  5. Bring on the sun! And I hope it gets here sooner than later… :)

    Comment by Jan — 2014/07/31 @ 06:03

  6. You can have all ours. I’m done with it. The heat has been exacerbating everything, including peripheral edema. I like sun. Don’t get me wrong, but without all the extra heat, thankyouverymuch

    Comment by Da Goddess — 2014/07/31 @ 19:22

  7. Those Fiber One bars seem to do the trick. Also the Russell Stover’s sugar free candy works just fine, too. I found out about both of those accidentally.

    Comment by Tina — 2014/08/03 @ 22:07

  8. I’m going to try some apricot nectar the next time I need it.

    Also, edema got to a point today where my face looked familiar!

    Comment by Da Goddess — 2014/08/05 @ 03:55

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