Da Goddess

Today I am 46.

src=”http://dagoddess.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ronben-israelsm.jpg” alt=”Chef Ron Ben-Israel” title=”Chef Ron Ben-Israel, I don’t care if he’s gay, I love him” width=”200″ height=”300″ style=”float:right; margin:10px; border:3px solid black;”/>Please send cake. Not chocolate cake (I’m over chocolate cake for now)…just…cake. Red velvet. Spice cake (not carrot cake). Lemon cake. A nice white cake works. And buttercream frosting. Lots of it. Or just send Ron Ben-Israel. I <3 him! He could make me a magical cake. Chocolate as a candy is always nice, but Atomic Fireballs are better. A pallet of them and caramel cream candies, please. With a case of M&M plain thrown in. And a pallet of however many cases of 5HR Energy Drink make up that pallet. Cuz I've discovered I am much more willing to run around and play choo choo with an emotional stylist of a child (and at 15 months, they're all emotional stylists) if I've knocked back my tiny bottle of "now I feel good and ready for anything!" drink. A CAR! Nothing fancy. Four wheels. Room enough to sit four, plus fit camera/music gear. Registered. Ready to drive. Cuz you do know what happened to my car, right? (We'll save that story for another day. Too depressing.) Money is good, too. Round trip tickets to Australia. No? Would you go for Portland? I ALWAYS accept cameras (7D or 5D Mark II) and lenses (I'll even take a cheapo $100 50mm 1.8 lens, and an inexpensive wide lens would be appreciated). Always. Without exception. (I shoot Canon.) Ending hunger. Creating world peace. Those are also rather nice gifts. I suppose the jewelry Charlize is sporting is out of the question, but if you all go in on it together, I’d like the entire set. That bracelet alone makes me want to just weep it’s so beautiful. And emeralds are, after all, May’s birthstone.

If you still don’t see anything upon this list yet that you’d actually get me, here’s a couple other things I have a hankerin’ for:

Frankie…dear, dear Frankie…Frank Fritz…my dream date! Any man who makes a living doing what I grew up doing with my folks is okay by me.

RJ Haddy, the artist…not the one in makeup

or Schmidt from New Girl, although Nick would also be acceptable

or a classic

or could this get any sillier?

or the now graying LeBlanc

and, yes, one of each please. While Gubler is slightly too young, he’s funny as hell, and adorbs, and Shemar, c’mon! Who wouldn’t hit that?

Take your pick from the list (I kept it short…on the guy side, at least). No need to rush. Except with the camera gear, the guy, the car, and some sweets (gotta stay nourished on our little trip…) oh yeah! A trip to someplace sunny and beachy would be lovely (although, again, Portland would be sweet for July 4th if Australia’s out)! I only get to be 46 for 365 days.

So celebrate with me! Let’s get our party on!