Do you know how hard it is to get a nicotine patch to stick to a monkey?*

DaGoddess @ 17:27

About as easy as it is for me to restore my archives or install the comment closing script into my template.

I’m rapidly approaching my 3rd anniversary of blogging. I’d really like my archives back, but no one seems to know how to do it.

And, after 125 comment spams, I’m missing the old script that used to allow me to close comments after x number of days.

Sometimes it’s hard to be a blogger. Sigh.

* Bonus points for anyone who knows from whence the title came.


  1. sadly enough, it sounds like an ill-conceived research project. Am I a dweeb or what?

    Comment by caltechgirl — 2005/04/17 @ 19:59

  2. Oh yee of little faith…


    Oh me of little time…but I’s gots a plan.

    Comment by Anton — 2005/04/18 @ 08:03

  3. Don’t know for sure, but there was a news story today about a chimp in S. Africa that is addicted to cigarettes. And, soft drinks. They carried on for almost 20 min.s about “how do you put a patch on a monkey? And better yet…WHO pulls it off?”
    Other than that, I don’t have a clue.
    Oh, the chimps name is Charlie.

    Comment by Wichi Dude — 2005/04/18 @ 15:40

  4. I just found your blog through some blog index and I absolutely love it! Thanks for sharing (and I hope you solve your archive problem!)

    Comment by The Village Idiot — 2005/04/18 @ 18:41

  5. Anton, darling…I know you’re working on them…but I feel terrible that this is taking up so much of your time!

    WichiDude, what a weird coincidence!

    CTG – not a dweeb at all – FASCINATING! You amaze me…all the time. I wish I had a fraction of your brain power.

    TVI – thank you!

    Comment by Da Goddess — 2005/04/18 @ 19:20

  6. That quote is from Dharma & Greg by the way. And I’d imagine it’s pretty hard… unless you shave a spot for the patch to stick to.

    Comment by Nick — 2005/04/19 @ 09:27

  7. Well, I must admit that I’ve never thought long and hard about how to get a nicotine patch to stick to monkey. But now that you mention it…

    Comment by yayaempress — 2005/04/19 @ 11:03

  8. Ding ding ding! And the winner…Nick!

    Dharma: One time when I was babysitting your monkey, I took him to a fancy party without telling you.
    Jane: Is that where he started smoking again?
    Dharma: MmmHmm…
    Jane: Do you know how hard it is to get a nicotine patch to stick to a monkey?

    Comment by Da Goddess — 2005/04/19 @ 17:17

  9. Do I get a prize? Or is the satisfaction of knowing that I won supposed to be enough? ;)

    Comment by Nick — 2005/04/19 @ 17:23

  10. My friend has been smoking for all of his adult life, and most of his pre-adult life too. He has been going to the Veteran’s Association for medical aid and other things, and they put him on the Patch to quit smoking. When he went there the other day for his checkup, they asked him how the patch was going. He said, “Not too good. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t get em to stay lit.”

    Comment by DakRoland — 2005/04/20 @ 14:01

  11. Joanie:

    I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be more help when you were switching over – I thought you had someone else working on it at the time.

    Can you email me and let me know the specifics of the problems you & Anton are having, and what you have to work with?

    There are several comment closing options, the best (in my opinion) of which is a straightforward uploading of a file into your plugins directory. Handles both comments and trackbacks. Although Ithink my solution (as used on Rob & kim) is better as it kills the spam without needing to close comments. I haven’t run it on MT3, but no reason why it wouldn’t work there too. (It’s the same MT problem causing the vulnerability.)

    As for the archives thing, I’ve got Rob’s fixed and just about ready to re-import after a little more tweaking. If you can tell me what’s going on with yours, maybe I could apply the same concept & scripting to it. What format are your archives in now? (ie a backup file, a downloaded directory from your old site…?)

    Drop me a note filling me in on where you’re at specificaly, and I’ll see what I can do to help.


    Comment by Light & Dark — 2005/04/20 @ 17:36

  12. My web host Mandi could tell you about that script for closing older comments. It’s installed on my blog. It’s the plug-in, MT Moderate 0.5.3 that gives you the extra options for forcing moderation on older comments. Mandi’s URL is http://creativedesignz.com if you want to e-mail her.

    Comment by Gardenwife — 2005/04/25 @ 21:40

  13. aren’t you running MT 3.x? I thought it automatically closed old comments… it MIGHT be Blacklist that does it, though.. I’ve never run 3.x without blacklist.

    1) install MT blacklist, if you haven’t already.
    2) e-mail me… in between ripping CD’s for my iPod, I’ll see if I can help. Have Anton send me a notice of what the issue is, too.
    3) If I can figure it out, I will.

    Comment by Jim S — 2005/05/06 @ 10:41

  14. oh, and let me know if you actually HAVE the arcives in a useable format… a txt or html file are the best.

    Comment by Jim S — 2005/05/06 @ 10:41

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.