Da Goddess

It’s been a very emotional week and it ain’t over yet.

Last night we celebrated Mojo’s birthday. Earlier in the day, I was packing and would come across photos of her as a baby. She’s always been beautiful, but she just keeps getting prettier and funnier and more interesting.

Today was awfully long. Got up at 5am to start packing again. Five hours of sleep hardly seemed enough, but I was up and running. My friend the pirate/mountain man came over to help us with the big stuff and he was just awesome. We couldn’t get the dining room table into his truck though. Nor the bed. Nor my big antique dresser. Oy vey.

Then there was a huge blowup with the roommate. Ugly scene. Followed by an equally ugly scene with the landlord. Basically, I’d written her a letter telling her I was leaving and why. I’d said the roommate was verbally and emotionally abusive and I couldn’t deal with it any longer. She then called him and told him what I’d written. Had this been a situation where a woman was being physically abused, the landlord’s loose lips could have gotten someone hurt or killed. She didn’t comprehend this and couldn’t understand why I was upset. She kept saying, “I don’t want to get in the middle of this.” Honey, you put yourself in the middle by opening your mouth. All she had to do was call and confirm that the roommate was staying in the apartment. She didn’t need to say anything further. But she did and then couldn’t figure out why it was a bad thing.

Thankfully, my friend was still here when all this went down and I calmed down quickly enough. That was not the case with the roommate. He’s tried to keep me from doing anything more than moving my stuff out. He wanted me to go stay somewhere else and just come to pick up my things later. I told him I was here until Monday as was the plan all along. That’s how it’s going to be until every last bit of my belongings are in storage. Yeah, like I’m going to end up locked out and not be able to get to my things. I don’t think so.

Other than Dave coming to help us, it’s just been me and LD hauling shit around. I’ve tried to be careful about lifting, making boxes light whenever possible. Regardless, I’ve overdone it. I’m sore. Very sore. Weird things going on with my leg and foot. It’s not unexpected. I see the doc in the morning. Hopefully. I was supposed to see him Wednesday, but they called and rescheduled me…twice. I also have P.T. in the afternoon and I’m going to beg for some massage. I don’t think I can manage my regular exercises and all the work I need to get done. We’ll see what happens. After that, I somehow have to get LD from school, get another load of boxes and clothing over to storage, and then get my mom’s car back to her and get us home again. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about the rest of the stuff that’ll still need to be moved on Saturday and Sunday. And there will be more. No way on earth I’m going to finish it all in between appointments, you know?

At one point tonight, I got so frustrated with the lack of help and some other things going on that I lost it. I was crying and trying hard to keep the tears from my son. Didn’t work. Thus it came to be that Little Dude and I spent a good fifteen minutes in tears. He’s been so strong and helpful through this. (While I haven’t revealed my destination in big letters here on the blog — for good reason, I might add — just know it’s not local and this is another reason it’s an emotional minefield around here.)

I know this isn’t the post you were expecting. Frankly, I didn’t plan on posting anything at all. I’m just spent. I’m wrecked. Completely. Trying to be strong is so much harder when you feel like a piece of chocolate in a little kid’s wool trousers pocket in the middle of summer. I’m slightly more molten than that.

On the plus side, I have come to realize that my friend Dave has become a Super Friend. In just a year’s time. He’s always been there for me. After surgery? Flowers and milkshakes. Once I got home? He took me out Christmas shopping, helping me get in and out of his tall truck whilst I was bound by my back brace. He’s hauled LD and I up to Big Bear for Rendezvous. He’s found us boxes. He took me to Ren Faire…twice. And he’s doing the heavy lifting now.

I’ve had calls and emails from friends who are buried in work, yet keep in touch just to make sure I’m not losing it all at once. They are my touchstones.

And LD? Super Kid! He’s more than my son, he’s my best friend. In the last three days, he’s revealed his heart to me and what I’ve discovered floors me. The child has greater depth than I’d imagined. He’s also funny, handsome, polite, and helpful. He saw my hurt and it got to him too. He was preparing his horse to be ready just in case he needed to rescue me. It was so very mature of him.

Yeah, it’s going to kill me to leave.

Until then, I have to soak up every bit of time with the kids that I can.

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Now, you’re going to yell at me for not having a very graceful segue to this next part:

The vast majority of interaction I had today was done face-to-face, but there have also been calls and a couple emails. Me being of sound…body…sort of…I have it easy compared to what our injured troops are enduring as they spend months and months isolated from family and friends during their recovering and rehabilitation. That’s why Valour-IT is so important for them. They need to connect with people who love them and support them. They need to see photos, hear voices, sing a child to sleep over distance and an internet connection. It’s important. Donate to Team Navy! Or just donate to any team. Soldiers’ Angels will make sure the money is spent well.

The real spiel from the SA website explains this so well:

Project Valour-IT, in memory of SFC William V. Ziegenfuss, helps provide voice-controlled/adaptive laptop computers and other technology to support Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines recovering from hand wounds and other severe injuries. Technology supplied includes:

• Voice-controlled Laptops – Operated by speaking into a microphone or using other adaptive technologies, they allow the wounded to maintain connections with the rest of the world during recovery.
• Wii Video Game Systems – Whole-body game systems increase motivation and speed recovery when used under the guidance of physical therapists in therapy sessions (donated only to medical facilities).
• Personal GPS – Handheld GPS devices build self-confidence and independence by compensating for short-term memory loss and organizational challenges related to severe TBI and severe PTSD.

The experience of Major Chuck Ziegenfuss, a partner in the project who suffered serious hand wounds while serving in Iraq, illustrates how important these laptops and other technologies can be to a wounded service member’s recovery

So while the wife, mom, sister, brother, uncle, father, son, daughter, cousin, and best friend are home, worrying but trying to keep it together for the sake of the kids, you KNOW that computer will connect families and friends. It will boost the spirits of the injured. That boost in spirit translates into relaxation. Relaxation then translates into motivation. And it’s the single greatest gift you could give to someone who has served this country so admirably.

Maybe your donation gets a laptop to the father of a little boy just like mine. Maybe the little boy is having a bad day and only daddy’s voice will do…thus you’ve created two success stories from just helping to create bonds, family history, the courage to go forth and endure the pain, the long recovery…just because daddy wants to get well enough to scoop that child into his arms.

Don’t make the medicated girl keep typing and trying to string this together coherently. Just go donate and we’ll make it through. Go on! Cuz I will come cry on you. And then I’m making you finish moving the heavy items. I will, too. While the roommate’s here.