Today, I am a Bitch

DaGoddess @ 22:53

Note: For those of you who follow me with any regularity, you know I don’t swear much in posts (well, not these days anyway). However, after reading this, I’m sure you’ll understand why certain words made a frequent appearance. Just sayin’.

I reached my breaking point today. After the week I’ve had, it wouldn’t have really taken much anyway, but it would seem that, indeed, someone decided to test my patience and found me lacking. Boy, was I lacking. I think I made a male nurse cry. I don’t know. I pretty much didn’t care. I was ready to cut someone if they fucked with me. With words. They were my weapon of choice.

It all began on Monday. I’d called for a refill on my Ambien on Friday last week. Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiday. Friday. I should have been able to pick it up from the pharmacy Monday after P.T. When I got to the pharmacy I was told the doctor’s office had until the end of the day to respond. If they didn’t hear back, they’d call the office again first thing in the morning on Tuesday. TUESDAY. Did they? Nope. Did they call on Wednesday? Apparently not. When I called the pharmacy yesterday morning, after lo these many days without sleep, I figured they’d have something. Nope. I told them that was unacceptable since they’d said they’d stay on top of it and hadn’t. So, when I showed up at the pharmacy counter in the afternoon, they pretty much shouldn’t have been surprised when I burst into tears because they STILL DIDN’T HAVE MY PRESCRIPTION. Yet, they were.

I walked out of there with my meds. Yep. I sure as shit did. I made it a point to let those I’d dealt with know that them dropping the ball wasn’t appreciated.

Today? I got to the doctor’s office a little early. My dad drove me down there and he said he’d sit in the car and wait. That should have been my first clue something would go wrong. I stood at the counter waiting to check in and nothing… I waited and waited and waited. (Hmm, this explains why I also had trouble getting through to the office by phone on Monday, it would seem.) Finally, the gal came out to the desk and after five minutes of hemming and hawing, she tells me the P.A. is at least 45 minutes behind schedule.


“I wish I’d known this before I got here. I could have been dropping my camera off for repair instead of sitting around.”

“Wait…are you fucking kidding me? Am I being Punk’d? Cuz at my last appointment I waited two hours to be seen.”

“I want to talk to someone. Now. Get the nurse out here. I have to have some answers.”

I finally spied the nurse and called him over. I told him this was unacceptable…that there was no way in the world that TWICE I should be kept waiting and waiting and waiting. What about my father? Couldn’t they have called to let me know they were running behind? Seems like that would have been the smart — and considerate — thing to do.

I’m pretty sure there was steam coming from my ears. I’m pretty sure my blood pressure was sky high. And I’m pretty damn sure that they won’t hesitate to call me prior to my next appointment (yeah, I have to have another fucking appointment in two fucking weeks because I really should have seen the fucking doctor and not the fucking P.A…. just as I had fucking expected! And this is yet another issue that pissed me the fuck off!) and let me know they’re running late because I’m pretty damn sure they REALLY won’t like me if I’m made to wait for hours again.

Perhaps part of the reason I felt so evil and angry was the lack of sleep during the week. But you know, that’s not the whole reason. No. See, here’s the thing: I’ve worked in medical offices and I know it’s possible to pick up the phone to call patients and let them know the doctor is running late. I used to do it all the time. Regardless of how shorthanded the office may be, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. In other words, you let your patients know what’s going on before they get there so they can plan accordingly. If the patient is a diabetic, they can get lunch or adjust their testing and medication schedule. If a patient is in pain, they can plan meds around the visit. They could run errands prior to getting there and still make it home in time to pick up their kids. See where I’m going with this? It’s a simply courtesy that lets you know the doctor and the staff realize your time is just as valuable as theirs is.

Getting the runaround all week from the pharmacy and the doctor’s office (when I’d called them) had set me on edge. The fact that I’d received a postcard on Monday telling me “We tried to contact you to let you know your appointment has been rescheduled and you will be seeing the P.A. instead of the doctor” made me mad. I knew I needed to see the doctor because it was supposed to be our final regular appointment. It also made me mad because I knew damn well they hadn’t “tried to contact” me. (Sorry, that polite bullshit doesn’t fly with me.) And when I called on Monday, I couldn’t get through the first three times. I got some recording telling me all the lines were in use and to try again later. Then I got hung up on twice. Then I got put on hold for 35 minutes only to be told that they weren’t sure if I needed to see the doctor or not, but they’d have someone call me back. That never happened. Every other phone call to the office that week went unreturned. My attorney, with whom I’d spoken on Tuesday, also believed that I’d need to see the doctor for the final visit. Now I have to go back again?

This alternately seething/weeping person I was all week is not the person I want to be, nor the person I enjoy being. I did everything I could to calm myself. The shit just kept piling on me though and I couldn’t take it any longer. At some point, I stopped apologizing for being angry because I’d been treated poorly. I understand that things happen and appointments run long and doctors run behind. But it happened twice in a row. And this week there were too many balls dropped.

So today, I became a bitch. And I kind of didn’t care.

Thank God for my dad because he calmed my ass down once I got into the car. Then he took me to the camera shop so I could get my camera in for repair. Oh, and here’s the fun part: it’ll be 4-6 weeks before I get the camera back. No clue as to what’s wrong, how much it’ll cost…other than the $30 it cost me to get it sent to the service center. As I told my friend on the phone this evening, I could walk the camera up to Irvine (where the service center is) and back in less time than that.

So unless I want to rent gear, I have no camera for the next month and a half. It’s already been a month of me trying everything under the sun to get it to work. I’ve turned away several bands and a couple of families for portrait sessions because it wasn’t working. I suppose I should just rent a camera, but I’d already turned the jobs down (which was okay at the time because I felt sick as a dog and couldn’t think ahead to renting or anything else).

I dunno. Part of me is just so frustrated with everything (I yelled at LD tonight and that rarely happens). Part of me just doesn’t want to give a shit. And part of me is too tired to get upset for long. It’s a little slow burn and a little flash fire. I burn out quickly.

I’ve since decided to simply sit in the corner, suck my thumb, and mumble incoherently. That worked so well while I was sick, right?

Anyhow, if you need me, I’ll be in the corner.

Update: there was a stabbing down near my doctor’s office today. I wasn’t me. I promise. I used my words, baby.


  1. DG,

    Sorry to hear your day was complete C-R-A-P. Believe me….I’ve had days like that while trying to get stuff done over at Scripps.

    BTW, which pharmacy were you dealing with? Is it CVS here in RB? I have a feeling it is cause they seem to be hiring straight out of The Dumbshit Academy.

    Comment by Mad Mikey — 2009/10/23 @ 23:31

  2. At some point, I stopped apologizing for being angry because I’d been treated poorly.

    GOOD! Sometimes you have to get angry just to get things done and it sounds like they finally pushed you until the cork popped and you had to start busting heads. Metaphorically, of course.

    I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time, love. Excuse me… one rough patch heaped upon other tough patches… That’s not exactly a ‘hard’ time, it’s more like a personal Hiroshima.

    Wish there was something I could do… :hug:

    Comment by Pam — 2009/10/24 @ 04:46

  3. Would you please come talk to a couple of my doctors? It really annoys me that they run 2 hours late. They are excellent doctors but they are the ones that set the schedule with the staff and KNOW they are running late. It is much nicer when you get a call or notification that you won’t be getting service as expected. I have two children and have a timetable. I bet those doctors don’t appreciated having to wait 2 hours for a hair cut or other scheduled appointment.

    Comment by vw bug — 2009/10/24 @ 05:34

  4. Oh dear. I hope they follow their acceptance of your anger and guilt for causing it with some real corrective action. [Just wait till we have government-monopoly health care!]

    I hope I can help make you feel a bit better to know that I had the blue caboose photo of yours I bought from Zazzle professionally framed.

    I just hung it up in my office at work. It looks great because it’s a great photo in a perfect frame.

    Someday soon I hope to get that Death Valley shot I liked so much and a couple of other things of yours I’ve had my eye on for purchase.

    Time for another slurp of coffee from my Zazzle mug and then back to grading essays…..

    Comment by Lloyd — 2009/10/24 @ 08:05

  5. If I had been treated as poorly as you and had to deal with that many incompetent assholes dropping balls right and left, I would’ve gone ballistic myself. Worse yet, I would’ve let my wife do it instead. She can beat down idiots with her temper better than I can, only she can actually remain coherent during one of her verbal lashings. Besides, it’s better to be a bitch and go off on the source of your problems rather than take down the innocent that happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time saying the wrong thing. Sorry that LD got a taste of your frustration, but it’s happened to all of us. We’re all human.

    Hope next week is better for you. :hug:

    Comment by diamond dave — 2009/10/24 @ 13:05

  6. Oh I hear ya! Dealing with doctors these days is like having a root canal. One of the doctors that I need to go to is booked up to 3 months in advance. Twice, now, they’ve canceled on me at the last minute. So by the time I get to see him in December (the next soonest available appointment, assuming he doesn’t cancel), it will have been nearly a year since I’ve seen him. And I have issues that really need to be dealt with. Soooo, I booked an appointment with another doctor, who swore he could get me in right away. Um yeah, over a month from now! And these doctors are always running behind. After waiting months for an appointment, it’s always a 2 hour minimum in the waiting room. Argh!

    Oy! I could go on and on. That’s just the tip of the iceberg! But I totally feel your frustration. Totally. Good for you for standing up to them!

    Comment by DogsDontPurr — 2009/10/24 @ 13:10

  7. Sheesh! Kick butt. Take names. Don’t apologize.

    Comment by Jan — 2009/10/24 @ 15:17

  8. Deer Da Glodess,
    I got this story off intern-net frum Hillery Clinton or my Elder Sister Carol…I thinks it will work for you looong time, concerning this post…

    …One day, long, long ago, there lived a beautiful woman who did not whine, nag or bitch. (That would be YOU…)

    ….But that was a long time ago and it was just that one day.

    The End

    Comment by JihadGene — 2009/10/24 @ 15:54

  9. :nana: :nana: :nana:

    Ruv You LOOONG time!!!
    Great Reader, KIM Jong IL
    Pyongyang, Califloornia 90210

    Comment by JihadGene — 2009/10/24 @ 15:58

  10. Hang in there,you. ;)

    Comment by Chris Muir — 2009/10/24 @ 21:47

  11. Kick and scream until you are heard. The quiet wheel gets no greese. A call is not so hard. I’ve been known to kick and scream at both pharmacies and Dr offices and once even in a hospital. If you are too passive, they’ll bulldoze right over you.

    Better soon I’m hoping.

    Comment by patti — 2009/10/25 @ 07:03

  12. Bitch ahoy, matey!

    I am glad you FINALLY got your meds and hope you’re at least getting some sleep.

    (giggled at the stabbing. Seriously. Put. the knife. down. hehehe)

    Comment by Leanne — 2009/10/25 @ 11:32

  13. Being nice is for church and social situations. Your health is a pro-active consideration, and regardless of the fact that it is simply “their job” you have a right to expect a certain level of attentiveness and to pursue your goal with the urgency your health merits.

    Good for you. I’ve walked out after 2.5 hours, asked for my co-pay check to be returned to me, torn it up in front of the receptionist.

    More people need to bitch like you did.

    Comment by Joan of Argghh! — 2009/10/26 @ 12:12

  14. Want me to pack up my point-and-shoot and send it out till you get your baby back? I won’t need it again until Christmas, and can get by with my Flip in the meantime.

    Comment by Omnibus Driver — 2009/10/26 @ 14:03

  15. I read the whole thing start to finish, though I know it’s old news and you are now in a MUCH better world. But it’s the least I could do when you had such a crappy week at the hands of terminal buck-passers. They needed to be brought up short, and they needed to apologize profusely after you blew up.

    And their doctor NEEDS to have the story, in writing, in his personnel file. It’s his business and he’s not running it right at the moment.

    MWAHH — hope this week is 100% better!


    Comment by foolery — 2009/10/29 @ 15:31

  16. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

    Hope it’s going better now. At least you have meds, right?

    Comment by Mrs. Who — 2009/10/31 @ 07:34

  17. I think you’re on to something here. I think that we should all stop being so nice and polite in medical facilities because we are all getting screwed over and it is just going to get worse unless we all make a great big noisy FUSSSSSS!

    Grrrr. I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough time with them.

    Comment by Jason — 2009/10/31 @ 14:58

  18. Gaaaaah, I am so behind in reading blogs. I’m sorry this last week was so bad for you! I hope things are better now. Drop me an e-mail and tell me how things are, okay?

    Comment by GW — 2009/10/31 @ 16:55

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