Da Goddess

I had a dream that John Goodman was my boyfriend. He came over to visit just in time to fix a plumbing problem. No euphamism there.

Perhaps I fell asleep to Roseanne or something and was wishing all the work here at my dad’s was done. Or maybe I just wish I had a genial, handy, and loving guy in my life.

Let’s just say that was the least weird dream I’ve had in the last week.

…Listening matters.

The Little Boy and the Old Man by Shel Silverstein
Said the little boy, “Sometimes I drop my spoon.”
Said the old man, “I do that too.”
The little boy whispered, “I wet my pants.”
“I do that too,” laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, “I often cry.”
The old man nodded, “So do I.”
“But worst of all,” said the boy, “it seems
Grown-ups don’t pay attention to me.”
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
“I know what you mean,” said the little old man

Shel Silverstein at his absolute best.

It’s a naïve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you’ll be amused by its presumption.

James Thurber ~ Cartoon caption in New Yorker (March 27, 1937).

Today was a no painting, no cleaning day. It was so nice!

I actually got out of the house for a few hours and enjoyed a nice lunch. A burger, some onion rings, and a teeny tiny sundae made me exceedingly happy.

It was overcast and cool all day long, eventually giving way to rain after dark. Yay! I love rainy evenings.

My big sister worked on the painting while I was gone. Seems like the more we do, the more there is to be done. How is that possible?

Now it’s early bedtime for me. The weather changes have knocked me for a loop and I’m hoping to have night #2 of good sleep. Fingers crossed!

The Meehoo with an Exactlywatt by Shel Silverstein

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Me!
Me who?

That’s right!
What’s right?
Meehoo!
That’s what I want to know!
What’s what you want to know?

Me, WHO?
Yes, exactly!
Exactly what?
Yes, I have an Exactlywatt on a chain!
Exactly what on a chain?

Yes!
Yes what?
No, Exactlywatt!

That’s what I want to know!
I told you – Exactlywatt!
Exactly WHAT?
Yes!
Yes what?

Yes, it’s with me!
What’s with you?
Exactlywatt – that’s what’s with me.
Me who?
Yes!

GO AWAY!

Knock knock…

I’m enjoying these guys immensely!

I seem to be having some sort of Brit indie fit at the moment. Guess there are worse things that could happen, right?

I just can’t argue with something as lovely as the following:

Again, Shel Silverstein to the rescue!

Standing on my elbow
With my finger in my ear,
Biting on a dandelion
And humming kind of queer
While I watched a yellow caterpillar
Creeping up my wrist,
I leaned on a tree
And I said to me,
“Why am I doing this?”

And as the music surges forth, we begin our montage of my sisters and I moving furniture, cleaning, cutting back plants, hauling out trash, painting the house, etc.

In lieu of actual video of that, we have a video of Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin singing the song that ran through my head for three days. Now it’s stuck in YOUR head. You may thank me later. Or actually, please thank me immediately in cash (paypal or direct credit payments) the amount of $29.75 for my storage unit that must be paid today, $14.95 + something for my domain renewal, $24+ for my Flickr renewal, $50 for my phone bill, and for anyone who contributes over $50, I will immediately give you a new, gentler song of mutual agreement to be stuck in your head.

Yeah, everything is due at once and I don’t get paid until November 15-ish.

We have let go the dream of contributing to the repair of my father’s car.

In the meantime, let’s get to the video!

Taking care of my dad’s house has been hard work. But on Tuesday, both of my sisters were here working to make the house beautiful. We had fun working together, too. And I never thought I’d say that.

Things are looking great here. Lots more still to be done, but things are definitely closer to done than there were last week. Fresh carpet. Paint in the next few days. Everything CLEAN! Even the garage got a once over already.

It was great working with them and we’ll be at it again soon enough.

Politics never really changes.

From now on, I think it is safe to predict, neither the Democratic nor the Republican Party will ever nominate for President a candidate without good looks, stage presence, theatrical delivery, and a sense of timing.

James Thurber (1894-1961), U.S. humorist, illustrator. James Thurber Collecting Himself (1989). From an unpublished manuscript, dated March 20, 1961, said of the Kennedy-Nixon TV debates

While I was in Vegas, I didn’t gamble. I never felt the need. People couldn’t understand it. Well, here is the reason:

This is the slot machine my dad brought home when I was 5 years old. The first night it was in the house (in the basement, specifically), they had to bring my dinner down to me because I kept playing. And winning. So I ate in the basement. Hot dogs. With ketchup. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Once you’ve played a slot machine for hours and hours over the years, it becomes apparent that The House always wins. Sure, you might have a lucky streak, but you just never know when that streak will end. So I never bothered to play while I was in Vegas.

Pretty machine, eh?

Revisiting Shel Silverstein

“Nobody loves me, nobody cares,
Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy and Cokes,
Nobody listens and laughs at my jokes.
Nobody helps when I get into a fight,
Nobody does all my homework at night.
Nobody misses me,
Nobody cries,
Nobody thinks I’m a wonderful guy.
So, if you ask me who’s my best friend, in a whiz,
I’ll stand up and tell you NOBODY is!
But yesterday night I got quite a scare
I woke up and Nobody just WASN’T there!
I called out and reached for Nobody’s hand,
In the darkness where Nobody usually stands,
Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook,
But I found SOMEBODY each place that I looked.
I seached till I’m tired, and now with the dawn,
There’s no doubt about it-
NOBODY’S GONE!!”

~~~~

I’ll be posting more of my favorite pieces over time. I’m using these as reminders of what a beautiful world it is in which we live.

Yep, I’ve run into this a million times. Before I left Cali and since I’ve returend. Doesn’t faze me anymore except when I see it fazes others.

“A friend that I think is interesting, smart, and not insane
has told me that her ex-boyfriend
has decided to give up vegetarianism
as per the advice
of a food psychic.

‘Food psychic.’

Sometimes, living in California
is a lot more like
living in a mockumentary about California
written by my father
and directed by my grandma.”

And that, my friends, is why I love Clayton‘s observations.

I’m not sure if the swarm of grasshoppers indicates the end of days or if they’re just meant to signal we’re almost done cleaning most of my dad’s house. Either way, I’m certain it means I’ll be done soon.

Finished one room. Second room almost done. Caprteto be installed in the morning. Maybe new blinds. And if they keep my dad long enough, we’re painting.

In the midst of all this, I’m still job hunting. LOL!

Later today, there is also a negative tide. Happens once a year.

Oh, and my big sis and I have been getting along quite well. Lil sis shows up tomorrow…errrrr…today. I have a feeling we’ll be too busy to argue or anything. Thank God!

Off to grab my inhaler. Again.

My lungs are full of Murphy’s Oil Soap, PineSol, and other miscellaneous cleaning fumes. I’ve been airing out the house for hours.

My sister and I were cleaning all day long. LD came to help for a bit.

We’re nowhere close to being done. My hands are begging to be done. My fingers are cracked. My lungs are screaming to be done. It’s just…there’s only so much cleaning fumes you can inhale before everything starts screaming UNCLE!!

I don’t know how my sister got this all done six years ago when there were many more years of dust and grime built up. I know she and my brother-in-law spent weeks doing it, but damn! There’s just an endless supply of dust that collects on antiques. I’m pretty sure that’s a law of antiquing: The older something is, the more it attracts dirt and the quicker it happens.

I guess it shouldn’t really be surprised. Since the last time the house was cleaned to this extent there’s been a major fire (2007) and an inefficient cleaning crew that comes once a month. Oh, and there are lots of antiques. Did I mention those?

The good news is that my sister and I got along fine all day. It was actually rather nice to be in the house with her, even if we were in separate rooms. We haven’t spent that much time under the same roof in about a million years.

Oh! And Mojo was even here for a little bit, too! First time I’ve seen her since I’ve been back. She looks amazing and is doing great in school. After this semester, she only has one more class ’til she has her Associates. Girl is workin’ it!

Well, time to go open another window and run the fan so the bird doesn’t kick the bucket. Despite the fact he can be a little turd, I love him and so does my dad.

Gimme a few more days to catch my breath and I’ll have to tell you what happened to LD at Homecoming.