August 16, 2004

Crockett Man

After I broke up with a boyfriend back in the mid-80's, his behavior became a little eccentric. He came to the video store where I worked on a pretty regular basis so I watched as his behavior changed from normal to a little, hmm...let's call it Walter Mitty-esque.

You see, Kent had a fascination for Miami Vice. Once we were history he retreated into his fantasy world in one of the most bizarre ways I've ever seen. First it was the t-shirts. He took to cutting off the sleeves from ALL of his shirts. Not so bad. Lots of guys did it. He took to wearing (bad) thrift store sports coats over the shirts. Okay, still nothing to get too worried over. The hair. The stubble. You name it. All the little things that were so damn hot about James Sonny Crockett - Kent copied.

Then came the car thing. He drove around like he was Sonny on his way to a bust. Phil Collins and Jan Hammer blaring from the speakers. Except his car....it was a new, well, it was....this. And for whatever reason, he equated that with Sonny's (look-alike) Ferrari 365 GTB/4 Daytona Spyder. I didn't get the connection then and I don't get it now, but it was his fantasy world and, well, whatever.

Kent also liked to leap out of his car and race into the store, jumping over bushes and such along the way. He'd burst into the store, kind of crouched down, looking left and right. I almost expected to see him holding his hands together in a gun pose, index fingers pointing forward. He stopped short of that - at least in public. Just. Barely.

He also eventually went and traded his dog in for a baby alligator that he named Elvis.

Let's see, he could somehow convince himself that a Scirocco was a Ferrari but he couldn't pull off "the dog is an gator" part of the fantasy?

Last I heard, he had married a gal who owned a boat and looked like Edward James Olmos.

Posted by DaGoddess at August 16, 2004 05:01 PM
Comments

LOL! Think it good that he is history for you, think you got the better end of that deal. :)

Posted by: Laughing Wolf at August 16, 2004 05:32 PM

*whimper*

I kept a straight face till I followed the link to his car.

too damned funny.

Posted by: Brian B at August 16, 2004 05:47 PM

You have a strange effect on men.

Posted by: David Kilpatrick at August 16, 2004 07:00 PM

Hey, don't knock the Scirocco, man! I loved mine. 'Course, it was silver, so I always thought it looked like a Delorian...

No, I never blasted the Back to the Future sountrack while driving it!

Posted by: Mrs. Smash at August 16, 2004 08:07 PM

What is it about the eighties and strange men?

I had one who was trying to steal me from my existing boyfriend.

He cornered me one day and in a fit of passion, tried to kiss me, saying, "I got what you need!" I kicked him in a tender place. So afterward, he had what I kneed.

True story.

Posted by: Juliette at August 16, 2004 09:50 PM

The Scirocco was a peppy little vehicle, but the guy sounds even more nuts than me.

Meanwhile the guy Juliette referenced now probably HAS less nuts than me.

Posted by: Thomas at August 17, 2004 05:45 AM

Edward James Olmos! Genius. Sheer frickin' genius. Still laughing....

Posted by: Flashman at August 17, 2004 07:06 AM

Hey! Respect the Scirocco!! The store manager of Marco's Pizza had one, and sometimes he would let me deliver Pizzas in it! Man was that the bomb!!

'Course it wasn't no Phil Collins for me, it was Def Leppard at the time, and even though I cut the sleeves off my shirts, it was to go with my combat boots and dyed blue-black hair.

But hey, this sounds like one cool dude...

Posted by: Rob at August 17, 2004 02:40 PM

It is kind of scary to think what he may look like now.!

Posted by: karen at August 17, 2004 03:28 PM

I once dated a woman who announced that she was a dolphin. I asked her if I could see her blowhole. I had something for it. Inexplicably, the date ended. Immediately.

I also turned another woman into a lesbian. Yeah, I got that going for me.

You can see why I'm a catch.

Posted by: TGCH at August 18, 2004 01:08 AM

Oooooh-kay. That was just a little beyond odd, but then we had people trying to dress like Michael Jackson in his Thriller outfit, so I guess that's not completely screwy.

And to think, the nuttiest thing I want to do is buy a Datsun Z-280 and repaint it like the Transformer, Smokescreen. However, I might just get a Subaru WRX and repaint it like the current incarnation of Smokescreen.

Is that a little too obsessive?

Posted by: DakRoland at August 18, 2004 10:43 AM

"...a gal who owned a boat and looked like Edward James Olmos."

I swear I blew a quarter cup of coffee through my nose when I read that line.

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Posted by: Phil at August 18, 2004 11:41 AM