March 30, 2004
Couldn't Resist
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces, "Shit!" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theater.
Posted by DaGoddess at March 30, 2004 06:10 PMLOL Ewww ... that is nasty!!!
Posted by: Rogue at March 30, 2004 11:50 PMTwo women went for an evening out at the cinema. They had seats in the back and were happily awaiting the feature when a shifty looking man sat down next to one of them. While uneasy, he appeared to be waiting for the movie like anyone else.
Some minutes into the film a romantic interlude began.
The woman who was sitting next to the man whispered over to her friend, "The guy next to me is MASTURBATING!"
Her friend was horrified. "Why don't you slap him?"
She whispered back, "Because he's using my hand!"
Posted by: Thomas at March 31, 2004 06:16 AMAaaaaack! I don't know which is worse, yours or Thomas'!
Posted by: gw at March 31, 2004 01:05 PMThat was a "joke grenade". You know, you tell the joke, wait 5 seconds, then enjoy the laughter. I like it.
Posted by: Wichi Dude at March 31, 2004 02:59 PM