Da Goddess

uh, i'm not a registered nippologist, but i have many years experience with the subject matter. it has been a while though since i actively worked in the field. maybe i need a refresher course or two. i'd be more than happy to conduct a field study on your rambling nipple. surely it is only one. i have heard of cases where both nipples were roaming freely, but that is extremely rare. i'm almost positive that is not the case.

uh hmm, being that i am located on the east coast, and i understand that you are located in the san diego area, it would be extremely cost preventative for an actual retinal inspection of the problem/s. therefore, i would like to request that you have x-rays taken immediately and sent federal express to my house at once! time is of the essence if we are to stop further roaming.

oh, if you do not currently own an x-ray machine, i can make do with a couple of dozen photographs. pleas make sure they are at least 4 megapixel.

purely for medical and scientific reasons.

:)

and don't worry about them. the slight imperfection will only be a turn on for whomever your sig other is. and an excuse to play.

Thought you might like to know that I couldn't resist going to the mirror to observe mine and ya know what? Mine are not level either. That should make you feel somewhat better.

I was thinking of going out to my husbands shop and get his leveler so that I could get precise measurements but elected not to. I mean, how would I explain that? I could see him pulling up in the driveway for lunch and say, "Baby, what are you doing with the leveler?" Me: "Oh, ahem....well, Joanies said on her blog that her nips were not level so I am checking to see if mine are." HEHE!!

So instead, I chose to just give em the eyeball and they look to be about 1/2 cm off. That's messed up!! I don't think anyone will notice as long as I hold the shoulder on the affected side a little higher than the other one though.

It's always something going on to make you feel a little less perfect and a little older isn't it?

Hi ya, Joanie.

I had heard that gravity plays mean tricks to women as they get older (the breasts and butt areas are extremely susceptible to this cruel and unusual punishment), but this is a new one on me. Are you sure that this is a new phenominon (I use the singular form of phenominon, rather than the plural "phenomina", since only one of your boobs is affected...or rather disaffected) and not a lingering condition since puberty?

You give us men WAY too much credit! When we see a lady "popping a boober" (your term amuses me) we're too busy thinking: Ooh, Nipples to notice their symmetry or lack thereof! :) We're just thrilled to see nipplage, cleavage, bellybuttonage, etc, so shop in peace, dear! Hell, stand in the frozen foods aisle with the doors flung akimbo and be ye not dismayed! Most of us men can't even shave our sideburns evenly, much less would we dare judge your lovelies lacking due to a non symmetric horizontal plane. And hey, if some clod should give your nips a judgemental glance, just remember this: You have boobs. He doesn't. He probably spends hours a day in pursuit of boobular viewing, and all you have to do is whip off your shirt to see them! :) Of course, if if *does* have his own set, AKA man-boobs, you can bet yours are far, far more fabulous...

Of all the things...

I can list a lot of things which I as a male find off-putting in a female. Asymmetrical nipple location isn't one of them. Room temperature IQ, lack of a sense of humor, inappropriately foul language, poor personal hygiene... Those do it for me. Tits? anything from an A to DD is fine. 'Sides, you can't see 'em when you're hugging anyway...

And when you're not hugging, you know you're gonna soon be hugging and it doesn't matter then either...

Women worry too much...

I am thinking this is worth at least 1500 hits. Toss in a picture,, maybe 5000.

For lack of a better suggestion, maybe you should consider piercing those wayward boobers. Run a chain betwixt'em. Draw'em together. Problem solved. A little masochistic, but everyone enjoys a little masochism now and then. Just a thought...

Ooh, I love Technodaddy, it's official. Joanie hon, at least your boobs sag to the same level. My nipples are level relative to/on my boobs, but one boob is bigger than the other and so is winning the race to my waist. Yeah, just call me Ink "TMI" Grrl.

Sheesh Joanie, it's your mirror. It's hung crooked.

Oh, one more thing! If my last missive wasn't enough to convince you to stop worying about it, perhaps this will help, too. I've always been an IBG man anyway... IBG=Inner Boobitory Groove (tm Technodaddy) and judging by the thumbnail on your front page, you're pretty proud of your IBG, so, to quote Bobby McFerrin, Don't Worry. Be Happy! :)

And with that, I simply must stop pontificating about boobage and get back to work!

Simple solution: only allow yourself to be photographed 3/4 front, never head-on. Any perceived flaw can be put down to perspective and no one the wiser.

M

Just think of it as a charming quality that confirms your membership in the "Woman of Infinite Variety" club.

If you get a reduction they are in pop mode all the time!!But at least the should be level when they reaatach them!!!LOL

Damn, you can write!

I vote for a tattoo to direct attention away from the errant nipple! actually, sounds very nice to me...hey wait a minute! i'm MARRIED...please excuse the inappropriate thoughts on the part of the individual making this comment...

BTW... saw a very cool cartoon "pink rhino" in one of the tatt mags & thought of you!

When the subject came up last December, you said they were only slightly off and that such variance was normal. So why are you obsessing with it now?

The way a real diamond is distinguished from a fake is by the flaws.

LOL! Nice topic! Seeing as how the left side is slightly bigger than the right in all women, it would make sense that with time and gravity that both sides might not line up. What I'm wondering, is how is that men feel the need to "adjust" themselves when women don't? Strange world if women starting checking the "girls" as often as some guys check the "boys" *G*

**YAWWwwnn* What's with the recycled material? Site hits dropping off and starved for some attention?

This horrible malady is not known to occur in males. Except that Chiropractors claim that everyone and their mother has one leg shorter than the other. This should produce a slight malalign of the nipples in their horizontal plane. From this we can only conclude that all men have a higher nipple on the side where the leg is shorter. How the leg and nipple know how to do this is a mystery.

We can also reasonably conclude that women either have perfectly alligned nipples that unequal legs have managed to throw out of allignment, or that the malalignment is so bad that not even unequal legs could correct it regardless. In either case nature has obviously favored men regarding nipple alignment, and this disparity could quite adequately form the basis for a profitable class action suit against the United States for allowing a subversion of women's 14th Amendment rights. I think that's about it.

LOL! Oh-My-Goodness..too funny! Ya'll make me glad mine aren't perfect, and they aren't fake. ~chuckle~ That's one you can chalk it up to Joanie. No doc could ever copy cat Mother Nature's blueprints on the boobies! ~heh~ So if anyone ever asks you if their fake, say heck no! you think i'd PAY to have my nips unlevel??? ;)
Have a good one!

Sorry to disappoint you, Yawn...but, I've been known to post something from my archives just for the sheer hell of it.

ha! That's the very first entry i ever read here! ;)

This can mean only one thing:

You have the DIVINE right.

I'm no nippologist but, I can spot 'em a block away.Okay, maybe I am.

My left nut hangs lower than the right and no-one has said anything (to me) yet.You can guess which one my brain resides in.I'm OK/YOU'RE OK.

Complex problems call for simple solutions.

1) Slip a silicone insole in the shoe of the lower nip side.

2) Walk with a cane.

3) Stand up straight suddenly and poke out the eye of any who think you're not on the level. (Confucius say: Man who make love on hillside not on level.)

Er, ah, um from down here I can see one of your nostrils is larger than the other. [heh-heh-heh]

Ackschully, it's comforting to know you are normal... and a good read to boot.

Another small point, but to make two, as the symmetry question necessitates. [OMG,now I've forgotten what my point was!] Wait, now I remember, the more correct term would be "nippleogian", as what we are talking about obviously pertains to the metaphysics of nipple alignment, not the physics. Nippleogianically, I state, "It does not matter", nor do I care, so why are you bringing this up? It must be to just irritate me, as I am obviously paranoid, and therefore threatened by Women's nipples. But I love them anyway, in spite of their ability to control me, and make me marry them. Then I get to pay a lot of money due to my "abandonment complex" when they desert me, just as did my mother, that Bitch. Actually, the Oedipus Complex has it all wrong: I wish to kill my Ma, and marry my Pa because of all this nippleogian talk. I don't know if you have helped me or harmed me by making me delve into my recesses. But as I like to delve into recesses, all has not been lost by your provocation. You can probably still sue, but your case has certainly been weakened by my now realized victimhood. But hoods are another question, which I hope you will go into at another time.

Oh, the pain! The pain! This is a classic which still makes my sides hurt.

your funny with a talent for writing:)

You nasty person you! Talk about not having anything better to do! Do you realise I just ran in front of the mirror, pulled up shirt, and examined my perfectly superfluous boy nipples for bilateral asymmetry? Owhell, I guess you can tell from the time stamp I shoulda gone to sleep a while back.

Okay, okay. Your nipple story beats my balls story hands-down.

Count your blessings that you don't have the equivalent of Igor's hump from Young Frankenstein.

Rantblogger brood are ages 16, 14, 12, 10, 6 and 1. Mrs.' boobage has been wonderfully and consistently active for years.

My youngest always chortles before indulging. That always makes my wife laugh. Kid clearly takes after his dad.

I kind of already feel bad for him... it's going to stop someday soon and he's going to wait a LONNNNNNNNNG time for access to another set again.

By the way, slight asymmetry is completely normal. We're not talking nips the equivalent of Marty Feldman's eyes, right?