Da Goddess

Aerial Attack

We sat on the bench, my son and I. After a nice walk and a lot of talk, we decided to sit, watch the birds, and rest for a moment.

That was our first mistake.

Our second was not moving quickly enough after laughing as other people near us got pelted.

The lemurs had launched a full on aerial attack on us. They were up in the tree, picking off pods, and hurling them at us. The first group of people got off easy. We weren't. We were their main targets.

I looked up at the biggest lemur in the tree and yelled, "Oh yeah? Well, just you wait! I'm gonna make my kid wade across this pond and climb up that tree after you! He's full of gas. And, it's enough to make grown men cry when it's let loose. Foolish lemurs!"

They responded with a spectacularly well-coordinated bombardment in perfect unison. Pods were raining down on us directly and on either flank. The bench was behind us. With no chance for escaping, I conceded defeat. And then....dum, dun, daaaaaaa! The keeper with the food walked up.

I took her hostage and told the lemurs they'd be getting no food until they came down, apologized profusely, and cleaned up the mess they'd made.

Needless to say, the area was spotless by the time my son and I moved on.

I'm just glad I had an alternative to the gas method. That could've been nasty. Me without my mask and PETA lurking behind every tree.