Da Goddess

At least post a drink alert. My god, a person could pass a cheese sandwich through their nose.

Oh, and why are you up at 2:18 am?

The H2 is the girly version, narrower and easier to park, with carpet,etc. The Hummer is the chick version, with A/C, upholstery, watertight roof, etc. The HMMV is the man's version, uncomfortable, capable, durable,available with armor and machine guns.

I don't remember where I saw it in but shortly after Viagra hit the market a magazine ran a cartoon showing a man sitting in a high-performance car talking on his cell phone. He was saying, "I just paid $75,000 for this car and now you tell me there's a $10 boner pill?"

you are rasing a very smart son there!

Good one!

Sad part is that first, a REAL guy would have sold all for a REAL Hummer, an H1!

Second, if we men could afford all these cool toys when we were in our twnties, we'd have gotten it out of our systems by the time we are in our forties and fifties. (Nah!!! Probably not...)

Youth is indeed wasted on the young...

I guess I'll scurry out from under my damp log now and go sit on my 30-foot sailboat and mull over the injustices in the universe...

Dale in Louisiana

My vehicle scoffs at Hummers. Hummers instinctively fear and avoid it, it being marked with the scars of many successful battles, and the decal coup of many conquests: Nor Maaco nor Botox will it endure, no inflatable bags within to needlessly insure, its ability to perform and produce, as it prouldly displays its hood, its prepuce. "Fairer" and "happy" vehicles stand aghast, astounded by its mileage beyond which "it cannot last!", they stammer, their throats choked by its emissions, as these hammer, and sandblast, their way toward survival and thus produce vast, legions of spawn of their own ilk. Yet those so exposed note its resemblance also to silk, and wish to swallow more of this addictive spor, then chasing the tail pipe, demanding more, as it speeds out of sight seeming faster than light, yet vigilent at each hour, more Hummers to devour, in its noble quest, though selfless yet self-possessed, it loves itself the best.

Hate to be the only one, but I gotta say I love the H2. I liked the original more, but the H2 is sleeker. I am currently turned on by the big/sleek/run over the assholes who oppose me combo.
I actually have an ulterior motive for wanting an H2... nay, any bigass SUV. I like to think that by owning one, somewhere it causes an eco-terrorist to have a coronary event.

I wonder if these H2 drivers realize that all they are driving is a Chevy Tahoe with a Hummer-like shell?
Seriously, go check it out at the Hummer web page, folks.
You can tell just from the intro page they're not the same.
Chevy/GMC Vortec engine, no A Frame suspension...
a side by side comparison of the H1 to the Poseur mobile.
Here's a fun page: FUH2

I haven't been impressed with the H2's since I saw one in a little fender-bender accident outside my work place. It was a 5-10 mph hit; the H2 ran into the back of a dumbass who stopped to parallel park. The front of the H2 crumpled like tin foil. The radiator ruptured and the piece of shit had to be towed away. A Pinto is a tougher vehicle.

As for big vehicles; I drive a 1988 Suburban. I would never have bought such a truck, but I sort of inherited it, and it is better than having a car note. So, I have an EXCUSE for having a big car; I feel I must defend the size of my weewee.

Hummers, H2s etc are pretty rare in Melbourne, what we get is 4WDs taking up the roads. I can see the attraction, but unless you're going off-roading, I don't think you should have one. Especially people with 1. a need to road rage at everyone else or 2. can't recognise the size/width of their own vehicle to be able to drive properly.

I think the H2's are kind of cute. But I agree with Dale and Justthisguy, if you want a TRUE Hummer, get an H1 (or an HMMV). The military version is solid as they come but without all the comfort. If you need a big box with comfort, get an Explorer, or a Tahoe, or an Expedition. Insurance is cheaper and the gas milage is better. I think they hold up better in an accident also.
But, if you can't drive it, don't waste your money, and everyone elses patience.

I guess if I wanted to get all macho, my vehicle of choice would be a Peterbilt.

I hate Hummers. Any Hummer. If it's not being shot at or shot from, it's just a waste of money and space. There are easier and cheaper ways for you to show off your penis length. There's no reason to buy the PhallusMobile.

I never seen two side by side let alone four. What a story. :)

oh man.. the Ho Train i've mentioned... driven by a kid not much older than 18. bought by his parents. who have also (allegedly) put six (SIX!) transmissions in it. Sounds like a demo derby car. looks like an idiot drives it.

1. There is a $0.0000000000000001 fee for that Argghhh! You can pay me when the bill gets to $1.00 making change is a pain otherwise.
2. You should ask She Who Will Be Obeyed what I call that custom pearly paint job...
3. I agree about the HMMWV's. I put over 100,000 cross-country miles on one at Fort Irwin when I was an O/C. If you are going to drive one, drive a real one. The rest are for pussies (which mens you literally qualify, LeeAnn!). And yeah, I'm a former jock gone to potbelly. And a retired soldier who's done some thootin' and being shot at.

Me? I want a Dingo armored car. I can get one for about $17K and it will knock the snot out of those H2's.

Dear Goddess:

I agree. I am also suspect of those Avalanche thingies, and automatically run to, "WHAT are you trying to compensate for, punkin' butt?"

I wonder how many people would own a nice car that cost over $10,000 if they had to pay cash for it.

I'm also not sure how one pays off a car loan when their car gets less than 10 miles to the gallon.

p.s. I'm not trying to attack anyone for owning a fancy schmancy shiny car, but a 1978 Pinto is more attractive to me than "a car that isn't paid for"

Sugarmama - you'd like us, then. '91 Mazda with 270K - PAID IN FULL. '93 Ford Ranger, 189K - PAID IN FULL, '90 Taurus with 80K PAID IN FULL, '83 Honda Gold Wing, 88K, PAID IN FULL. There is the '91 Motorhome that is not paid in full, but at least since it counts as a vacation home, the interest on that is deductible!

And it ain't gonna change until The Kid is outta college.

Hummers are so common in Miami it's like the city is one big Hummer dealership. I have to admit tho, at first I thought they looked pretty cool. But, in my defense, I've always preferred to drive my dad's 1980-something Ford F150, beat up, well worn and trustworthy. Of course, the "bring photo of boat and motor" tag adds the icing.

"I imagine that the people who own these things were once BMOC."

You're probably right. Being a former BMOC and a current BMOTB (Big Man on the Block) - I drive a bit subtler, but ever cool, slice of American Pie. My '70 Chevy CST10 1/2 ton short bed turns heads day and night.

Women lust me, men envy me! BMOTB baby!!