Da Goddess

Keep Me In Your Heart For Awhile

It's been said that in 100 years, no one will care what kind of car you drove, how much money you've made, or how big your house was. What will matter is that you made a difference in the life of a child.

I once thought that I wanted to be famous. For what? I'm not sure I knew. I've known for a long time that I won't be famous. I'm actually glad for that. What I've also known for some time is that I want to make a difference in the lives of many children.

I started off believing that I was meant to be a teacher. Dreams of nursing seemed out of my grasp and I thought that working with children as a teacher was my way to reach the future. I wanted to imbue the children with an excitement for learning, to be the kind of teacher who demonstrated to kids that learning could be fun and rewarding. After working at a Montessori school I was certain of this direction in my life. Alas, when I moved to Colorado, I accepted a job in a pre-school where my hopes were dashed and my spirit nearly crushed.

It took a few years before I realized that I could still possibly work in the medical field. After all, I wasn't really too old to pursue a dream, was I? I was only 25.

I started off registering for school to become a respiratory therapist. Along the way, I discovered I was pregnant. Alone and without family nearby, I realized that I couldn't handle a newborn and manage the course load that the program demanded. So, I looked at my options and fell into classes to become a medical assistant.

My first job was a disaster. A temperamental doctor with a failing practice and unscrupulous billing methods had me out the door and onto my second job as an M.A. in two months. This job afforded me the opportunity to work with patients of all ages, though I especially enjoyed the kids.

Moving back to California, I took a job as a temp. I worked three assignments only. Each of them requested to have me back. One was with a pediatric ENT group. Another was a family practice - where I was the only M.A. not afraid to give vaccinations. The third was for a large clinic - where I was eventually placed as a long-term temp with a pediatrician. (I know, long-term temp sounds funny to me, as well.)

My first day on the job, I walked into the doctor's office to place some dictation on his desk and spied a photo on his bookshelf. I was startled to find a photograph of my daughter there! Well, it turned out to be his granddaughter, not my little girl...but the resemblance was amazing!

At the end of the first day, which was rather busy, I was finishing up with charts and getting ready to go home when the doctor walked out to me and asked how long I'd been a nurse. I stated that I wasn't a nurse but a medical assistant. He replied, "no, you're a nurse. I know what I see."

The doctor got me thinking and dreaming. He often encouraged me to go to school and earn my nursing degree. He told me that I should think about becoming a nurse practitioner. To this day, I consider that to be my ultimate goal...it's just going to take some time. I'm not ready for school again - yet.

I was eventually hired on at the clinic in family practice. I worked for a wonderful doc who took all the overflow pediatric patients. Even with two pediatricians, we had so many children coming through our doors that my doctor was happy to take on the new patients. This allowed me to continue working with kids and I was still able to sub for either of the LVN's in peds if they happened to be out sick. There were only two of us in the entire clinic who would, or could, help them out.

When I ended up out on medical leave during my pregnancy with Little Dude, my position was eliminated as they downsized the clinic. Several people were let go and I can honestly say now that this was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I stayed home with the kids and did the 24/7 mom thing for over two years. I knew deep down that I couldn't continue to be a stay at home mom, though. I wanted to work and our family situation cried out for me to work.

One day, while watching television while my son napped and my daughter was at school, I caught an ad for the school I'd attended in Colorado (where I learned to be an M.A.) I wondered if they were offering the respiratory therapy course here and I called. They said no but recommended I call another school I called the other school and was told that they didn't offer the course either, but they did offer an R.N. program.

With that bit of news, my dreams were reawakened and I set out to become a nurse. In two years, I had completed my general education and received my nursing degree! (I can be quite tenacious when it comes to getting something I truly want!)

I began working in a community hospital with a small pediatrics unit. The acuity of the patients wasn't very high but I didn't much mind. I had a lot to learn and I baby-stepped my way into the job I have now. I'm in a bigger hospital with a much wider range of skills needed and a whole world of diagnoses and conditions I'd only previously read about. Still, the small hospital taught me a great deal about working with a very diverse group of patients. Being located in the third poorest city in California, we received patients from all walks of life and from all around the world. Immigrants often settle in these poor areas because they're the most affordable places to live. We were no exception.

I dealt with many families from Mexico, Ethiopia, Nigeria, Vietnam, the Philippines, and the Czech Republic, among others. I quickly became acclimated to a variety of cultures and people - which was wonderful because I've always loved learning about new cultures. The experience came in handy when I moved to the larger hospital. Serving a wider area, a much wider area, we have more patients and even more diversity within our patient population.

Being able to work with so many people from so many places, I've often wondered what their lives must have been like prior to their move here. Many come from war-torn nations. Some left just as starvation was knocking at their door. This, of course, serves to fuel new dreams. Dreams of heading off to some of these countries to do something...to make the difference in the lives of children - children like I see here, only with less. Much, much less.

I'm very satisfied with the job I have and the patients with whom I work. That's never been a question for me. I just see that I have the potential to help those even less fortunate and reach beyond my comfortable world. By participating in a medical mission, I can make a drastic difference in the lives of kids halfway around the world. I can also come home and make a difference here...with my own children and with my patients at the hospital. I want to do this. I want to do more. I want to be the kind of person who brings light into other people's lives. The light will not last forever. It doesn't have to. Just long enough to bring about change and opportunity for someone else.

I knew a long time ago that I wouldn't be famous. I knew, though, that I wanted to touch the lives of others - if only for a brief time.

I want my presence in this world to make a difference for someone. As many "someones" as possible.

I don't want to leave my mark on the world in books or in newspapers. I want to leave my mark on the hearts of people. And, I want to find even more hand prints of children all over my heart.

I have the opportunity to do this. And, it looks as though Africa is where I need to be. To give help to children in need. If I promise not to go all Sally Struthers on you, would you be willing to contribute to the fund? As I've said before, I will send the exact organization name and all the details to all interested philanthropists. You can click on the button to "Send Da Goddess Packing" over on the left (visible on the main page only, I'm afraid), then enter "Africa" as destination, you can comment here (with a valid e-mail so that I can contact you), or you can e-mail me directly at SendDaG0ddessPackingPERI0DatPERI0Dc0mblock (removing and replacing the items we all know don't belong, please.)

A wonderful teacher once told me "only rocks and love last forever. Choose to be one of them." I've been a rock and done little. Now it's time to be love - or at least filled with love - and do something.

Life's not about fame or fortune. It's about leaving enough of an impression on others that they think of you for awhile. Or, more importantly, that you think of others for awhile. I think Warren Zevon said it best in one of his last songs:

Keep Me In Your Heart

Shadows are fallin'
and I'm runnin' out of breath
keep me in your heart for awhile

If I leave you
it doesn't mean I love you any less
keep me in your heart for a while

When you get up in the mornin'
and you see that crazy sun
keep me in your heart for awhile

There's a train leavin' nightly
called when all is said and done
keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Sometimes when you're doin'
simple things around the house
maybe you'll think of me and smile
you know I'm tied to you
like the buttons on your blouse
keep me in your heart for awhile

Hold me in your thoughts
take me to your dreams
touch me as I fall into view
and when the winter comes
keep the fires lit
and I'll be right next to you

Engine driver's headed north
to Pleasant Street
keep me in your heart for awhile
these wheels keep turnin
but they're runnin out of steam
keep me in your heart for awhile

Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-lo
Keep me in your heart for awhile

Keep me in your heart for awhile...

Posted by DaGoddess at January 11, 2004 10:33 AM