Da Goddess

Reasons To Hate The Landlord

Since the day we moved in, we've had ample reason to not like our landlord.

He's upped the ante and we're firmly entrenched in the loathing of the man. He's a little twerp.

We started getting people knocking on the door just before Christmas.

"Hello. We were wondering if we could take a look at the place."

"What?" we asked.

"We're interested in buying this place."

"Really?" We kindly refrained from handing them the list of major repairs that haven't been made since prior to our move-in. Including the dry rot under the master bath shower. And, the leaking, rusted dishwasher that's causing water damage left and right and down into the walls.

Then, when the main drain went, the landlord mentioned in passing that he's thinking of having the place appraised...maybe selling it. He wasn't sure. I said nothing. I was dumbfounded to think that he thought he was so smooth.

So, yesterday, he had an "appraiser" come by while the carpet/flood repair guy was here. The "appraiser" showed up with six other people. Prospective buyers. When the twerp called me back later, he acted surprised by this and tried to cover by saying that the appraiser just happens to be a real estate agent/business partner as well. Yeah. Right. He added that he didn't know about the repairs that needed to be made around here.

Hmm...I wonder which list he stuck up his ass first. We've only submitted 5 to him, 10 to the former "handy" man, and two to the actual owner.

Now, the "appraiser" is calling and asking to set up a viewing time. Today.

"I'm sorry. I have to work tonight and I'm on my way to bed."

"Can we come by around 4?"

"No. I don't wake up until about 5."

"We can come by at 5?"

"No. I wake up then. And, I need to get ready for work. I prefer to do that without an audience and without people in my way, thank you very much."

"We can't come by at 5?"

"No."

"Oh. What about tomorrow?"

"I work all weekend."

"So that's a no?"

"That's a no."

"What about tomorrow around noon?"

"What part about me working all night and sleeping all day don't you understand?"

"You sleep all day?"

"Yes."

"All day?"

"Yes. I work from 7pm to 7:30am. If I'm lucky, I get home by 8am. I try to have a few minutes of quiet time to myself and with my family and then I go to bed. I rarely get 8 hours of sleep."

"I don't understand."

"Clearly."

"How about Sunday?"

"I. Work. Every. Night. This. Weekend."

"That's a no?"

"That's a no! You're more than welcome to call back and talk to my boyfriend later if you'd like. He may not mind you showing the place in the dark. Easier for you to hide all that's wrong with the place."

"Should I call him in an hour?"

"No. I'll be asleep."

"Oh. You sleep during the day, then?"

".....Yes."

"Why?"

"......."

You may write to either Greg or myself in c/o the local prison. I don't see bail as an option. Too many bodies.

You will write us in prison won't you?

Posted by DaGoddess at January 9, 2004 01:44 PM