Da Goddess

Not Under My Tree!

Wording is everything, isn't it?

There will be no remote control vehicles under our tree this year. Especially not the latest and greatest of them all.

I don't mind getting my kids the cool new toy of the season most of the time. This year, though, I don't have the heart for it.

To be honest, it wasn't until a few years ago that I had even heard the term "hummer" as a euphamism for a blowjob. Yeah. Me and my sheltered life. It took my friend, David, telling me about his most embarrassing moment with a woman. "Right in the middle of a great hummer, a fart flew out my ass. Needless to say, that sorta killed the mood and I had to...uh...finish off on my own later." It took me a moment to realize what he was saying. D'oh! Yeah. That's how I learned about this clever turn of phrase.

It's cute to think of all the wives and girlfriends out there giving their men "hummers" for the holidays. Hell, given the right woman, a man could be getting lucky and actually receive a hummer in a new Hummer. That'd be fun...and it'd be something to brag about to the boys at the country club.

But, all the amusing double entendres suddenly aren't so amusing when you're looking at your kids and thinking about the words to describe these toys coming out of their mouths. Given those circumstances, it's gross.

However...there's always a however, isn't there? Let's say the "big blogdaddy of 'em all" wrote about wanting one of the new RC Hummers for his collection of toys. You better believe that more than half his bleating sheep loyal fans would be running to Amazon.com to buy him one. Why, he could have ten in every color and size! Men wouldn't even think twice about telling their friends, "I gave Glenn Reynolds a Hummer for Christmas!" I giggle over that, but I don't think most of their friends wouldn't be. They'd be looking at their pals in a whole new light. Hummers just aren't things guys give to their best friends, unless they're starring in a very special episode of "Full House."

Marketing for the adult crowd is all well and good, but sometimes, the quick giggle and subliminal sell can leave their mark in more ways than one.

As amusing as it is to think of grown men telling people that they gave some other guy a Hummer....I don't think little boys should be going to school telling their teachers that mom, or worse - dad - gave them said toy. It's just plain wrong.

Wording is everything, isn't it?

Posted by DaGoddess at December 23, 2003 07:10 AM