December 20, 2003
Surreal Conversations
He From The Past: I wish things had worked out.
Me: They have worked out. Nicely, too. I'm with a great guy and we're happy.
HFTP: No, I mean the way you really wanted them to. With me.
Me: Did you miss the part where I said I was happy?
HFTP: But, I was talking about us. You know, us together. If I'd been ready, we'd be together now.
Me: You had other things happening and I wasn't all that interested back then.
The discussion sort of continues in this vein for a few more minutes.
HFTP: Let me call you. Gimme your number.
Me: No. And, if you really had been interested, my number would have been indelibly etched on your memory.
HFTP: I can come see you.
Me: No, you can't. One, I don't live where I used to back then. Two, I'm not interested in seeing you.
HFTP: Oh, you'll be seeing me again.
Me: I don't think so.
HFTP: But I want to see you. I want to make you happy.
Me: You want me to be happy? Okay. Tell you what. Go for a walk. A long walk. Off a short pier. That would make me happy.
HFTP: That's not nice. I'm offering myself to you.
Me: I didn't really want you the first time.
HFTP: You wanted me more than you want this other guy now.
Me: Nope. Sorry.
HFTP: I miss you.
Me: Uh...of course you do. I can understand that. I'm exactly the kind of woman men miss after they piss away their opportunity to spend time with me. (That's dripping with sarcasm, too, by the way.)
HFTP: You miss me, too.
Me: No, I don't.
HFTP: We could be so good together.
Me: Yeah, I'm sure you're right. For the 47 seconds that you'd go before getting "too excited."
HFTP: You got me too excited. You're sexy.
Me: You're lonely.
HFTP: Without you, yes, I am.
Me: I think your mom hung up on you today. That's the real reason behind this conversation, isn't it?
HFTP: No. She did that last night.
Posted by DaGoddess at December 20, 2003 11:07 AMHeh, that would've been even more funny if it wasn't so sad.
Posted by: James at December 20, 2003 11:11 AMTell me about it.
I should send you the rest of the conversation. You'd wet yourself.
Posted by: Da Goddess at December 20, 2003 11:13 AMWhat an idiot! Ego covering up low, or no, self esteem. Yeah, what he really wants is a combination mother, cook and dishwasher, sex partner and no committments ot reponsibility. Been there, done that, never again.
Posted by: suzi at December 20, 2003 11:59 AMReminds me of my first husband. Ugh.
Know how to really get to them? Laugh. They throw out one of their trademark lines, start laughing. Heartily. They'll hang up on you because their fragile little egos can't handle being laughed at. ;)
lol Funny stuff. But, how did you run into him in the first place? Or was it online?
Posted by: Raven Lee at December 20, 2003 02:37 PMInteresting conversation. I only have one question. Why did you stay on the phone so long. If it had been me, I'd have uttered some foul expletives and told him never to call me back, then I'd have hung the eff up.
Posted by: Mad Bull at December 20, 2003 02:51 PMHey Joanie, I've got an old girlfriend I can fix him up with...check that, I've got 2 old girlfriends I could fix him up with.
Posted by: Anton at December 20, 2003 04:02 PMMB, chat. He caught me on Yahoo Messenger and it ended up amusing me to no end...
Posted by: Da Goddess at December 20, 2003 04:12 PMA suggestion for a Christmas present for this waste of flesh. A Dr.Kevorkian gift certificate or a do-it-yourself kit. Rey
Posted by: Rey at December 20, 2003 04:17 PMMan, that is soooo lame. That almost borders on stalking. Hope you got some short piers handy, you may actually see this fool gain.
Posted by: Wichi Dude at December 20, 2003 06:34 PMHe won't bother Da Goddess too much. I pestered her until she gave me his screen name. I added him to my list. I'm planning on having some fun with this thick-skulled luser.
Bwahahahahahahaha.
*cough*
Ha.
LOL@Greg. HEH!! What I would give to be a fly on the wall.
I had an ex numbskull (from 20 years ago) call me last year. The stupid woman beater, thief, ex-convict, piece of shit actually thought I would want to see him. I told him that I didn't think that would be a good idea. When he asked why I told him that my husband would probably beat the crap outta him. Conversation ended there.
Posted by: medicmom at December 21, 2003 12:42 AMNo matter what, some people aren't worth your time.
Last time I spoke with the ex, the conversation went in circles. I stated what I wanted/was going on, he argued, I repeated the exact same words, in the same monotone I'd used the last time, he argued again. It went like this for ages. In the end he got really angry and hung up on me. First and last time.
Good on you Joanie for telling him where to get off.
You're right. Totally surreal.
Was he always this clueless?
I call those guys "cling-ons", the technical defintion being not those hunky aliens on Star Trek, but those little rolls of toilet paper that remain attached to your tush after a vigorous wipe.
I'm a romantic.
*makes a face*
His screen name isn't Saemeal is it? Real name.. Thomas?
UGH!!! BAD memories.
Posted by: Ren at December 22, 2003 02:39 AMThat was too funny. He didn't want you then and he's not getting you now!
Several country songs come to mind:
"If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?"
and the upbeat
"How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?"
{{snort}}
Posted by: Joni at December 22, 2003 08:51 PMHehehe - been a coupla days, I see, since I've been around. Thanks for all the good reads!
Posted by: ang at December 23, 2003 09:53 AMRen..the only bad memory about Saemeal is you..cant believe you are still on about him..get over it
Posted by: valeria at March 23, 2004 10:46 AM