November 23, 2003
Brown Baggable Obsession
I cycle through obsessions like Lance Armstrong rides his turbo trainer on snowy days.
This weekend, an old obsession friend came home to roost. Cheese and crackers. I'm not talking about having a couple of pieces of churned and cured concoction slapped upon a random bit of flaky bread product. No. I'm very specific in this.
A pleasant mild cheddar - "oooh! How bold! How daring!" you mock. Bite me. It's a classic. Classics are classics for a reason.
Wheat Thins original - "Dude, you so don't know your fucking crackers! That's, like, a box of junk you can pick up at 7-11." Bite me again! I DREAMED about Wheat Thins a few weeks ago and purchased the super huge institutional sized box over at Price Club for this very purpose.
I knew it was looming. These crazy-assed jonesin' of mine tend to dig in for the long haul...I know this about me and my cravings. I plan accordingly.
So, I sliced some exquisitely perfect rectangles of mild cheddar, which I further cut into perfect squares. I had five stacks that were about 4 inches in height by the time I was done.
Then, the crackers. Sadly, the evil tech genius here had eaten one bag already...so I made due with the lone remainder. I opened it carefully, tenderly. Peeling the two halves apart with delicate deliberateness. That inevitable "pop!" of fresh cracker goodness wafted forth. Inhaling deeply, I let the aroma linger deep within my lungs.
"Ahhhh!"
I started the assembly process.
One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of cheese. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate. One Wheat Thin, one perfect square of chesse. Place it carefully upon the plate.
Oh. Sorry. Got lost in the moment.
With perfect wheels of cheese and crackers before me, I misted up a bit. A thing of beauty I'd assembled.
I allowed the Little Dude and the Tech Commander share in my gastronomic delight.
Delicious.
My son wanted to go back and make more. He didn't eat any, but he learned the art of assembling a treat for his beloved mother. It was the one thing, besides the Buster Keaton movie, that he'd shown any interest in. And, that's a good thing.
Today, I'm still carrying around an unwavering yearning for this taste treat. I'm taking some to work with me tonight.
Of course, all I've done is hastily thrown the crackers in one bag and the ragged slices of cheese in another. It's not like I'll have the opportunity to savor each and every morsel like I did here at home. No. That kind of salivation and delight over food at work would be unseemly and near impossible.
I give this obsession another week and then on to the next. No, not turkey....Oh, the fun you'll have watching me unravel with this one! In my quest to create THE PERFECT mini quiche, I shall devote myself completely to the task. All other endeavors shall be placed on the back burner.
Yum! Thought I prefer muenster over cheddar, that is one of the best snacks of all time. :)
Posted by: D at November 23, 2003 05:32 PMEr, "though." :)
Posted by: D at November 23, 2003 05:33 PMBehold the power of cheese! We had a Thanksgiving meal this afternoon but reading this, I want to eat NOW!
Posted by: BillH at November 23, 2003 05:57 PMBill H said what I was thinking. Just like the comercials, "Ah, the power of cheese."
Posted by: Wichi Dude at November 23, 2003 07:04 PMRitz, not Wheat Thins.
Posted by: Mike at November 23, 2003 07:25 PMDee-lish! It should also be noted that pickle slices can make the cracker/cheese combo even more tasty, (and nutritious.) ;)
Posted by: Roscoe at November 23, 2003 10:03 PMCrackers- almost any kind that isn't flavored (like those nasty "veggie" flavored things)
Cheese- also any kind... especially Bandon's Caraway Jack.
i looooove cheese and crackers. I have cheese right now, but no crackers. Must remedy this.
Posted by: pril at November 24, 2003 12:06 AMMy favourite with cheese here are Excelsior Water Crackers!
Posted by: Dr. D. at November 24, 2003 04:10 AMManchego cheese, no crackers, no bread, no nothing. Just manchego. Well, maybe a little cantimpalo sausage to compliment it. But that's it. Thats all you need for gastrosnackoromic treat.
Posted by: Val Prieto at November 24, 2003 07:17 AMYes! At last my subtle yet fiendish plans for world domination are being realized!
Uh... I mean, good choice! Cheese is good!
If only NASA were as precise as you are with cheese....
Posted by: Jay at November 24, 2003 09:19 AMoh drool! i haven't had wheat thins in ages.
dagnabit women! you've given me a hankering for wheat thins and cheddar. ;o}
my previous obsession was medium cheddar on melba toast. cheese sliced in rectangles, almost paper thin, layered on whole wheat melba.
Posted by: munin at November 24, 2003 01:55 PMI LOVE Wheat Thins. But I think I'd have put the plate in the microwave for a few, just to get all soft and melty... yumm!
Posted by: inkgrrl at November 24, 2003 04:56 PMExcuse me.
Saltines and Cheez Whiz!
Yeesh, you people too high-falutin for me
Posted by: ken at November 25, 2003 08:55 AMI'm a fan of cheese, myself. Chesse, too. I'm giving thanks to every blogger who's been kind enough to link to my site on their blogroll. As a show of my appreciation I am leaving an excerpt from my glorious NaNoWriMo novel in the comments fields of each and everyone's blogs. To read the section from my novel in its entirety, grab a box of tissues, click on the link to my site, and let the magic flow. Happy Thanksgiving. Now, on with the excerpt…
“No, this is the first time I’ve ever played. I swear,” Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily said.
“Liar!” Count von Hasselhoffer shouted.
“No, honestly,” Dame Maggie Percival Chatterlily said. “Hey, have I told you how much I like Red Bull?”
“Will you stop it with the Red Bull?!?”
One or two would not have made it to the tray...You are way better at self-restraint!
Posted by: GrumpyBunny at November 25, 2003 11:06 AMLove the cheddar ... but for me I'd like mine on Triscuits ... (actually, any damn cracker will do.)
Posted by: Cindy at November 25, 2003 11:25 AMMMmm sounds good! I prefer ranch flavored wheat thins with a stronger cheddar, with a little sour cream...now I'm craving a snack and I'm trying to eat healthy!!!
Posted by: Sam at November 25, 2003 08:36 PMMy obsession has always been cheese spread and pretzels. Not just any kind of pretzels, but the mini twists. The cheese has to be some kind of sharp cheddar, left out at room temp. so its nice and soft when you did in the pretzel. I've taught my 2 year old nephew about this wonderful creation. "My precious."
I am,
G-Man
Hey Greg! Notice how, now that she's back up and running, you've become "the evil tech genius"?
So much for undying gratitude.
Posted by: LightandDark at November 25, 2003 09:22 PMhappy thanksgiving!!!!
Posted by: kimberly at November 26, 2003 06:24 AMJoanie - If you can get 4 days out of a cheese and cracker thread, I should be able to blog about a pot o' collards and take off until Christmas!!!
Just dang!
;-)
Oh, cheeeeese *arghle* (my best Homer Simpson). In a pinch, American cheese slices may be quartered and placed upon saltines, but it's just not the same.
I wrote a foody post this morning, so feel free to come and drool.
Posted by: gw at November 27, 2003 01:44 AMIf you put a marijuana bud on top of this and microwave it, you have a common method of medicinal consumption.