Da Goddess

Fast Forward

The Speculist, runs a forum called Fast Forward. Each week a topic is given for discussion.

This was the description sent to me: A link, a picture, a mini-essay (50 words or less). The topic we're doing next week is wearing computers and having non-stop access to the Internet everywhere we go. Like the idea, hate the idea, take it in a really weird direction, whatever.

I wasn't too sure about the topic upon first glance. What could I possibly say? As I thought about it, though, I began to realize that I could contribute to the discussion. So can you.

You'll note that, obviously, I can't follow directions because my post well-exceeds 50 words. I may admit to being short but I never laid claim to being brief.

Do we really need access to the Internet everywhere we go? Do we?

At first thought, this sounds like a great idea. You have access to store websites and can compare prices while you're out shopping. You can e-mail your significant other and ask where the hell they are when they're supposed to have met you at Ikea 30 minutes ago. You can keep tabs on your kids while they're out on a date.....

(cue cheesy dream sequence music and wavy lines here)

MOM: Hello! I know you're there.
KID:
MOM: I know you have your instant messager up. That better be ALL that's "up" or you'll be in serious trouble. I'm getting your dad in on this one.
DAD: Listen up, I expect you to answer your mother when she's messaging you!
KID:
DAD: I can see you're online.
KID:
DAD: Answer me now, you hear?
KID: Oh, hi Dad. I was just in the bathroom and left my jacketputer here at the table.
DAD: What table? Where are you? Why didn't you have your GPS working? Aren't you wearing your ballcap computer?
KID: No. I'm not wearing the cap tonight. I hate that hat. We're at XYZ Pizza.
DAD: Let me see.
MOM: I don't like their pizza. It tastes like cardboard. And, why are you out without your hat? What's wrong with your hat? Your grandmother bought that for you!
KID: (Firing up the jacketcam) See? There's Shannon, Keith, Jack, Beth, and the rest of the gang.
DAD: Did you just say gang? Are you involved in gang activity?
KID: Dad, chill. I meant the whole "gang" of my friends. You know, a group of people? Not, like, Crips and Bloods. As if! You know we're not those kinds of kids. I mean, we live in a town of 1,400 people! Everyone knows everyone else...we're tiny! What territory would we fight over? The corner of 1st and Main? Hardly worth it. Who wants the claim the flower shop as their territory?
DAD: Okay, I misunderstood.
KID:
MOM: Honey, you really shouldn't read so much into what he says.
DAD: Are you behaving yourself? Why'd Shannon go under the table? She better not be unzipping your pants, young man!
KID: Dad! She dropped her napkin. The pizza's here. Can I go now?
DAD: Lower your sleeve so I can see what she's doing.
KID: (Shannon appears back on screen - waves napkin at KID'S dad.) See? There she is. Nothing to worry about. I'm gonna go now. I wanna eat this pizza while it's still hot.
MOM: You will be home by curfew won't you?
DAD: Leave the jacketcam on, son.
MOM: Have a good time, dear!
KID: No way! I gotta go. (End cam)
DAD: You leave that cam on, young man!
KID:
DAD: Hey! Put that back on!
KID: (signed off messenger)
DAD: He signed off.
MOM: I see that.
DAD: I have half a mind to go down there after him and take him his capputer.
MOM: Not dressed like that, you won't! And, quit looking at porn!
DAD: I'm not looking at porn!
MOM: Yes you are! Gay porn, too.
DAD: What???
MOM: Your glassescam, honey.
DAD: Shit! (Cam off)
MOM: Why were you looking at gay porn? I thought you decided you weren't bi. DAD: I...uh...was just....it was a bi site...er....I was making sure. You know, this stuff does nothing for me anymore.
MOM: Well, that's bullshit. Your "mighty sword" betrays you.
DAD: What??
MOM: Your tighty-whities cam is still on.
DAD: Shit shit shit! (Cam off)
MOM: No! Don't turn it off! I want to see you stroke yourself. For me. And, can you go back to that one site? The one with the tranny? The guy he was touching was gorgeous! And hung!
DAD: Oh. That one. My favorite.

Or, imagine what bloggers would do computer access EVERYWHERE! We already have people blogging about bowel movements and plumbing disasters. Do you really wanna go into the bathroom with these people? You do realize they'll start taking pictures and posting them, don't you? We don't wanna go there. Please.

Technology at our finger tips is handy. But, it can also be intrusive and obstructive. People should get offline and live life! There's nothing wrong with a little old-fashioned legwork while out shopping. There's nothing wrong with being disconnected from the rest of the world and enjoying time alone with family or friends or heck, even truly "alone"....

I'm not ready for Internet access everywhere. I value my privacy and believe it or not, I value yours. I can entertain myself without a computer and I think you could, too. And, I don't need a bookcam to broadcast my reading habits all over the Net. I don't need my pursecam displaying how very broke I am to the world. I don't want the baby bunting computer from my friend's latest edition giving me constant updates about Little Sweetie. That's what visits are for - you go, catch up, and leave.

Unplugged. Disconnected. It can be a good thing. You'll thank me for it the next time your condom computer goes down...er....doesn't work.

On the more serious side, I think having computer access EVERYWHERE would only lead to more suspicion and heartache for the perpetually insecure types. Do you really want someone checking up on you every moment of the day? Many jobs also require a degree of security and confidentiality, not to mention focus. Computers, in this situation, would only be problematic.

I think technology can be a wonderful thing. But, it can also go too far.

Now, where did my coffee mug with the WiFi card go?

Posted by DaGoddess at August 19, 2003 01:11 PM