July 20, 2003

One Word, PLASTICS

Go ahead and click it! But, DON'T PUT THAT BREAD TAG IN YOUR MOUTH, GRANNY!

Mr. McGuire: I just wanna say one word to you. Just one word.
Ben Braddock: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Ben Braddock: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: "Plastics."

The alternate title to this post was 10,000 spoons......but.....well, some of you wouldn't have known what the hell I was babbling about.

Anyhow, plastics, yes. Spoons, no. And not 10,000. It was more like a million of these plastic bread tags. Yes, that's the official name of them. Try Googling anything else. It took forever for a search to yield a single image to confirm the name.....I was trying bread bag clips (got "Suck my tit" pics instead), bag clips, bag clip thingies....yeah, YOU try coming up with the right name......without knowing what it is. Mmmhmmm......you wouldn't have been able to do it either.

Anyhow, there were about a million of these damn things in the top drawer next to the fridge today. Now, I've lived here 7 years. 7. S.E.V.E.N. Not 700. Not 7,000. SEVEN years. And, I always threw those tags out. That means the ex threw them in there. I'm sure he only put two or three in there and they reproduced on their own. Why would ANYONE save them?

By the way, did you know that bread tags are responsible for the deaths of many elderly?

Go figure.

Posted by DaGoddess at July 20, 2003 10:50 PM
Comments

they make ok guitar picks in a pinch, too.

Posted by: pril at July 21, 2003 12:35 AM

This just begs the question of why the old people are eating the bread tags instead of the bread.

Posted by: bogie at July 21, 2003 03:17 AM

I hope your ex never meets my MIL. If his collection and hers ever got together and mated, they would cover the earth in a matter of days.

Posted by: TW at July 21, 2003 06:53 AM

They said "some countries have withdrawn their use because of gastrointestinal problems after ingestion".

I can only imagine the abundance of other items that are in line to be banned because they, too, can cause gastrointestinal problems after they have been ingested by someone who is out of touch with reality enough to ingest them.

Some folks need a lot more help and guidance than they have been getting.

Posted by: Don at July 21, 2003 09:10 AM

Goddess:

Since you started the whole trivia thing...
Did you know the colour of the bread bag clip indicates what day of the weeek the bread was made?

Posted by: LightandDark at July 21, 2003 11:38 AM

All I really want to know is...did you get my postcard?

Posted by: greg at July 21, 2003 11:38 AM

Hello LightandDark:

That might be a practice with some companies, but not with all.

If it is universal, all the bread I buy is baked on only one day of the week -- the White one.

Whiteday? And it's not even white bread!

Posted by: Don at July 21, 2003 01:41 PM

Since I am both elderly and demented, I want to thank you for this warning!!! Unfreakinreal!!! If true, this is really sad. Also sad is that one unfortunate soul running into difficulty with a bread tag among gazillions, will be the impetus for "taping" bread, and that will make it impossible for many arthritic elderly to open with their hands. Yet another item in the kitchen that must be "broken into."

Posted by: Indigo at July 21, 2003 04:14 PM

I still don't understand why elderly (or anybody) would be eating those in the first place. They're kinda big to just swallow. I'm just saying.

Posted by: Melissa at July 21, 2003 07:49 PM

Don:

You're right, it's only the big commercial bakeries that do it, and even then I'm sure it isn't universal. But if you're bread tags are different colours, they're probably related to days of the week!

And on the "why are they eating these" question" I once bought a small spray bottle (4 in high & about 3 in. in diameter...empty, specifically designed to be used to spray my trombone slide. It had a huge label printed on it: not to be taken internally. I shudder to think of the process & purpose of "internalizing" that thing.

Posted by: LightandDark at July 21, 2003 10:28 PM

Maybe they're low on fiber? Cool picture of them, by the way.

Posted by: gw at July 21, 2003 11:38 PM

LightandDark:

Having in past times associated with individuals who were habituated to the trombone, I have seen them use this substance on their instruments. (Is the rumor true that the liquid is collected from the spit valves of trumpets?)

I wouldn't want to ingest either the contents or the container, either.

Posted by: Don at July 22, 2003 10:18 AM

Interesting language question: Why do we (or, that substantial set of us that do, at any rate, since I've never used it that way, but it's an established use) refer to "elderly" rather than "the elderly", but not "young" rather than "the young"?

Whoa.

Posted by: Sigivald at July 22, 2003 12:34 PM

dear. may i ask why? why were you stashing
them there? ;o) though i am not one to speak, they seem to make a nest in most places i live in. bottom drawer
near stove, along with the elastic bands, and tie wraps. and no I can't explain why I put them there. they just sit there, abandoned and unused,

Posted by: munin at July 22, 2003 06:23 PM

*sheepish grin* umm. errr. yes. now is see. must remember to read the full post before making assumptions.

*hides head in shame* :)

Posted by: munin at July 23, 2003 03:55 AM

Google (or any general search engine): Thank you! I have held the fear that I am the only person who knows of search engines who cannot find the desired items in seconds!

Bread closures (tags be damned, tagging is what you do to cattle and other things that might wander off) obviously spend nights stealing one of every pair of socks and melt them down to reproduce. But they have to be quicj to beat wire coat hangers to the supply.

Posted by: John Anderson at July 23, 2003 03:09 PM

"yeah, YOU try coming up with the right name......without knowing what it is."
Are you kidding? I'm a translator, and I have to do that all the time. The internet makes this job much easier... sometimes. Bread tag, got it, thanks. BTW, what do you call them in Japanese?
"Why would ANYONE save them?"
I've used old ones to close bags of sandwiches/carrots/whatever in sack lunches. Now, if you could explain to me why my wife wants to keep HUNDREDS of plastic shopping bags...

Posted by: Daniel Day at July 24, 2003 10:30 AM

here in Aussie land, our eldery eat pet food. They must be really hard done by in the US if they have to resort to those plastic bread tag thingies! :)

Posted by: Rae at July 25, 2003 01:38 AM