July 26, 2002
Friday Foot Fetish
I'm currently on my way back up from a few days of hell. After the stress on Tuesday and the whole stomach thing I am starting to feel relatively human again. I went and took a damn Phenergan last night because I was still feeling rotten. Once I took it and let it do it's thing I was able to eat. Of course, I then went to sleep for 7 straight hours. (That's good for me!)
Today I am slow to accomplish anything. On the other hand, blogland is bustling with activity! Gutdude's back and writing. That's good. JB's messing with his e-mails and is now off AOL...which means no more endless chatfests. Dawn's writing like crazy. Aaron's taking submissions for a new opening quote on his site. I've only managed to read 95% of my links and comment on them. Oh well....that's doing something, isn't it?
After reading Gutdude's post about his chivalrous exploits on Jeckyll Island I got really jealous. I am currently trying to regrow two toenails. That lady had all her toenails AND red polish. I'm jealous. It's pathetic. I envy people with great toes. Of course, I think Rob posted the story to make a point....while he flirts shamelessly with me, he's mad that I sent him a "joke" from JB that was about a Viagra incident. This is his way of exposing my flaws and rubbing salt in my wounds.
Anyhow, I'm still trying to regrow the two that cracked and cut into the tops of my toes after I ran over my own damn foot with my chair here at the computer. It takes serious grace and skill to run over your own toes while you're sitting in the chair. Did you know that? Well, if you didn't before you most certainly do now.
So, like, two weeks ago, I was sitting here writing and rolled over my foot as I was attempting to do something....I don't remember what. It hurt. But, it wasn't until the nails crunched down into the nailbeds that I felt serious pain. And the blood! Oy vey. It was messy. I got the toes all cleaned up...painfully. The great toe on the left foot was badly bruised. The nail was basically cracked horizontally in the center and digging into the nailbed. Nothing really holding it in place other than gravity, I think. I gingerly pulled it up and off. OH MY HOLY FUCKING SON OF A BITCH RAT BASTARD JEEBUS CRACKER SMACKING FUCKING SHIT! It was uncomfortable.
I spent two or three days taking showers with my foot out of the water whenever possible. There's nothing quite as painful as exposed nailbed. Luckily, that toe is recovering. The one next to it is looking good, too. The bruising is gone.
Even on my best days I don't have really pretty toes. I am jealous of people who have them. It's a sad little thing that I can't be one of those ladies with perfect pedicures. I blame my dad for this. His toes suck. My mom's aren't so great either....but it's really my dad's fault. My friend Sandi always has a nice pedicure and I'm careful not to stare too much lest she think I'm looking to steal them. I try not to hold her beautiful toes against her. But, every once in a great while, I can't help it. Maybe someday I'll find myself a man with a great insurance plan who'll send me to a good podiatrist and then to the best nail shop in town and I can have some of those fancy ass toes like others have. Until then, I will be careful around chairs, lawn mowers, moving vehicles and juicers.
Posted by DaGoddess at July 26, 2002 03:10 PM