PROMPTuesday #26 - Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself
Deb thinks she’s being selfish with this week’s Prompt, but it ties into so much going on in my life, I can’t say she’s selfish at all. It’s good common sense to get the heebie-jeebies out of your system as much as possible.
So, here it is:
In light of my upcoming trip this Wednesday, today’s PROMPT is short and sweet (and selfish).
Can you tell me a story of a fear you’ve overcome? Fiction is of course, welcome. As are poems. Or one-liners. In fact, anything goes.
Anything.
As a parent, one of my greatest fears is that my children will not have all they need. I think that’s every parent’s fear. But as time has gone on, I’ve learned that I can either spend all my time worrying over that and missing out on opportunities to show them I love them, or I can simply spend time with them or telling them how much they mean to me.
I know I’ll never be a millionaire, or have all the resources available that would allow me to give them everything they need and deserve, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I can only work with what I have available and do the best I can.
And that’s what I’ve done.
My daughter is in a loving home with relatives and has turned into a lovely young lady. She knows I love her, knows I’m here for her, and she is busy growing up to become an amazing woman. I have no doubt she will have questions for me in the future. I’ll answer them all. Some might be more difficult than others, but I’m hoping she comes to the conclusion that my love for her is what led to her living where she is.
My son has spent more time with me, but that doesn’t mean I love him more. It’s just the way it is. He has grown into such a nice young man and it’s so nice to see him become who he is.
I struggle with various things, but not necessarily more than most. Money is exceedingly in low supply, there’s uncertainty all around, yet I feel like the most important things in life have been given to the kids — love, love, and more love, a sense of self, boundaries, and freedom to be who they are. I don’t think more money would improve any of that. I don’t think a bigger or tidier home does that. I think that’s all any of us can do.
Looking at them now, I see two children who’ve managed to make it to 12 and 16 intact. They’re healthy, relatively normal, as well-adjusted as my offspring could expect to be, and are pretty happy people. I guess whatever fears I’ve had gave way to living and doing and being. It’s worked. No reason to think it won’t keep working.
I’ve learned to stop worrying and just do what comes naturally. I’m here. I love the kids. And I pray that all I’ve attempted will ultimately give the kids the foundation they need to succeed in life. Is that overcoming fear or just finding my way through parenthood? Probably a little of both.
(I’m sure you thought I’d share something else, but I cover enough of that territory the rest of the time, don’t I? Not my deepest Prompt, however I take pride in the fact I didn’t run from this one.)
Joanie- That was really, really lovely. And, you are right. As a mother, we can give them what no one else can- that unconditional love. Be very proud of yourself.
Comment by vodkamom — October 14, 2008 @ 4:18 am
aww, thanks!
So many of the things we fear as new parents seem to fall by the wayside, only to be replaced by new worries. I’ve learned that most of the things I’m afraid of happening don’t and I’ve had to let go of a lot of other fears if I’m going to enjoy a single moment with my kids. It’s hard, but it’s the only sane thing to do.
Comment by DaGoddess — October 14, 2008 @ 4:22 am
That was very sweet, Joanie.
Comment by pam — October 14, 2008 @ 5:48 am
Comment by DaGoddess — October 14, 2008 @ 5:49 am
That was beautifully written, and so honest.
Your kids are blessed. Lucky them. Lucky you.
Comment by chris — October 14, 2008 @ 6:30 am
That’s lovely. Like a warm embrace, but not too tightly. Release, and love all at the same time.
Comment by g — October 14, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
Needles. Deathly afraid of needles. Had to have a penicillin shot in the hip when I was really little and it hurt so, so bad. Later when we had to get shots before going overseas (about age 7), I walked up and down the line at the base clinic and told everyone that it wasn’t going to hurt, that it would just be a little pinch, and that I wasn’t scared. I took one look at the needle when it was my turn and bolted out of the room and down the corridor. They had to have someone chase me down, drag back into the injection room kicking and screaming and TWO people had to hold me down. Deathly afraid, I tell you.
In high school, a friend talked me into giving blood and I agreed (stupidly, I thought). It was all I could do to not repeat the running-and-screaming routine. But I managed. So for several years, I forced myself to give blood at the recommended intervals. I finally gave it up because giving blood makes me really sick, and the last time I did it I passed out later in the day and then again the following day. Not good!
Now I get allergy shots. I’m at once a month intervals now, but when they started I had to do it twice a week for a couple of months. I can pretty much face it without anxiety any more, but I still don’t like them, and I still HATE the smell of isopropyl alcohol.
Needles suck.
Comment by Jan — October 14, 2008 @ 6:19 pm
I think it’s overcoming a fear Joanie. I also think you are very wise. I’ve known very wealthy children that didn’t have love and I’ve known underprivileged children who have had love; they are the ones that grow up happy.
All we can do is the best we can do and it sounds to me like your children are loved. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
I feel pretty sure you’re teaching them the important things in life. I think they’re pretty lucky!
Comment by mannequin — October 14, 2008 @ 8:12 pm
Just sayin’ ….
Comment by Temple Stark — October 15, 2008 @ 2:45 am
Comment by DaGoddess — October 15, 2008 @ 2:48 am
That was beautiful. It’s so hard to let go of those perfectionistic ideals of new parenthood and raise them as the people they are with the skills you have. It sounds like you’ve done a wonderful job so far.
Comment by Oscar — October 15, 2008 @ 8:39 am
Thank you, Tins.
Comment by DaGoddess — October 15, 2008 @ 8:42 am