PROMPTuesday #18 - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
This week, our assignment is to apologize without really apologizing. Which I like.
William Carlos Williams’s poem “This is just to say…” is basically about people who know they are supposed to say I’m sorry and apologize — but skirt the apology itself. Here’s the poem:
This Is Just to Say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the iceboxand which
you were probably
saving
for breakfastForgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
As they say at Outback Steakhouse, “no rules, just ‘right’”, but in this case, just write.
To Whom It May Concern:
You have a lovely car. It looks so fast and sleek and shiny. You must be a very important person to own such a magnificent machine. I saw you on the phone. I can only imagine you were brokering the sort of deal that would make all wannabe moguls swoon. Millions of dollars were likely being transferred from one account to another as you yammered on, ignoring the line of people in their lesser vehicles behind you. We, too, had business to attend, but were unable to do so because you were driving so slowly as you went about yours.
I hope you understand that my sideswiping you was in no way completely intentional. I mean, I was hoping to make it around you before that truck came barrelling down the road in the opposite direction. Since I couldn’t, I had to cut you off. I know you won’t hold it against me, you know, that whole “I’d like to live to see my children’s children” dream I have is pretty strong. I intend to make it come true. So, really, I hope you understand that my actions weren’t fully meant to force you into that ditch. It’s just a nice little bonus for me and the rest of the folks you held up for an hour while you blathered on.
Yours insincerely,
Glad To Be Alive
P.S. I’m normally of the much kinder persuasion, but you, sir/madam, are a fucktard.
Why does it seem like there are so many of those magnificent machine driver fucktards in Southern California? It’s not my imagination, right?
Comment by San Diego Momma — August 19, 2008 @ 7:23 am
Oh, I sure didn’t see that p.s. coming! Hilarious. Not sure I’ve ever actually heard that word before? Maybe I’m just sheltered way up here in Northern California. Maybe if Huell Howser, or Howell Hughser — whatever — would drop that particular f-bomb more, I could pick it up, too.
Nice job; I’m sure William Carlos Williams would be proud.
And thanks for visiting me at Foolery.
Comment by foolery — August 19, 2008 @ 9:11 am
You had me at “fucktard”…
I’m Chris from San Diego Momma. You’re cool.
Comment by csquaredplus3 — August 19, 2008 @ 7:28 pm
Okay, the P.S. got me. My lunch almost shot out across my desk. Watch it, lady.
Comment by Erin — August 19, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
Foolery, a fucktard is sort of self-explanatory, although I could spell it out in detail if need be. Heh. Seriously though, it’s a word I’ve been using for over 6 years. I’m sure it’s been around longer than that, I just hadn’t heard it until then. In fact, until I heard it, my favorite insult was “fucking fuckhead”. Fucktard works better.
Glad you liked the post. I have two more brewing within. Not sure they should see the light of day, though.
Deb, we’re blessed with too many self-important blowhards who think their shit don’t stink. They’re the only ones who matter, if you ask them. Their world is all there is. It comes from so many of them growing up as children of Real Housewives of OC-ish environments. Their entitled. No one else exists. Part of it is wannabe celeb/mogul aspirations and the rest is pure fucktardliness. Nobody’s ever called them on their bullshit. Or, I could go the other way and blame it on all the people who moved here from other places to seek their fortune. “Hey, I went from an Ohio nobody to a upper-mid level California semi-exec nobody!” Something like that.
What’s really weird is that I have had much the same day I as pretended to have in my fake apology. My cup runneth over and it’s steaming hot poo. If I’d only known, I’d have stuck with the plums.
Comment by DaGoddess — August 19, 2008 @ 9:09 pm
And, Chris and Erin, glad to have made you smile, laugh, think I’m cool, or what have you. It was my pleasure.
:D
Comment by DaGoddess — August 19, 2008 @ 9:32 pm