Bee Movie Hijinks
San Diego Momma, whom I have adored since way back when she was someone else and even if she does love Oprah (really, it’s the only flaw in an otherwise flawless person so I think I can forgive her this one thing), was telling her bee story and I totally remembered an incident from the desert trip. I could just point you in the direction of SDM’s post so you could find out what happened, but no. It’s my story, dammit! and it shall be told here as well. And better, too. I use more descriptive-type word things.
On my little desert trip with the girls, we had the top down on the car, right? So, I’m sitting in the front seat, thinking I’m glad I’m not sitting in the back because we all know that’s where the bugs end up. Uh, yeah. I get a very overly-intimate bee who swooshes up past the windshield, flings itself downward, and lands right between my legs. I wasn’t 100% sure it was a bee, but what other flying insect was it really going to be? Not with my luck! So, I calmly don’t move, as in barely even breathing type stuff, and ask my friend Patty to pull over. I then CAREFULLY and slowly (ABC Sports don’t know nothin’ ’bout slo-mo compared to me) lift myself with my arms, which is totally funny in and of itself because I have the upper body strength of a preemie, and as I rise up, a big ass bee wanders across the seat, looks up at me, and yells, “WTF you doin’?” Then he flies off all non-chalant about his fresh behavior.
If I’d had my way, he’d a been toast. With honey, of course.
It took another 45 minutes before my heart stopped its thunderous pounding and a good (bad) 20 minutes before I could breathe normally. I used to be deadly allergic to bees and it’s been long enough since I’ve been stung that I don’t know how I’d have done. Bees are beautiful to photograph and watch as they go about their pollen collecting duties, but I do NOT want one crawling on me, nor do I wish to become so intimate with one that one of its parts enter me in any way, shape, or form, thankyouverymuch.
I’d have peed on that bee.
Deb
Comment by Deb — April 1, 2008 @ 9:17 am
But then I’d have been stuck sitting in wet pants AND a puddle. Nope. He may have pissed me off, but I wasn’t going to piss him off any more than he may already have been.
Comment by Da Goddess — April 1, 2008 @ 7:23 pm