Happy Not To Be There
Writing this before I left for Portland. Couldn’t sleep, so here’s where I ended up. Big surprise, eh?
So, I was finishing up with some emails and a few other tasks in the wee hours, when I should have been sleeping. (I’ve logged about 3 hours in the last 36. I always get this way before a trip, and also when I’m stressed, pissed off, etc.) I’m sitting on the sofa minding my own business when I feel a tickle on my toes. I looked down to see a big ass damn cockroach and I shook my foot as hard as I could to get the fucking thing away from me.
Here’s the thing no one tells you about Vegas: it’s cockroach heaven! They thrive in the desert. They grow the size of Volkswagens. They chuckle openly as you chase after them with bug spray or a baseball bat. Everyone here has a fumigator that comes by regularly. I think we’re overdue for a heavy ass spray because this is not the first roach I’ve seen in the house. Could be the newspapers that are brought in without being shaken first, but I don’t care. I don’t like roaches and I don’t want to see one, feel one, or even think about one. Ever.
The ones that have made it into the house are in various states of dying, so I guess that’s good news. The thing is, I’d really rather have them die outside and never make it inside in the first place. That’s not too much to ask, right?
The worst part of this whole thing? Because I don’t have a regular bed and sleep on an air mattress (6 inch thick air mattress to boot), this puts me basically on the floor. Right where there might be something horrible and creepy and crawly. Any wonder my sleep cycles suck so much?
Ewwwww! *shudder*
Anyhow, by the time this gets published, I’ll be happily ensconced in Portland, sleeping in a real bed, without bugs, and without 24/7 vigilance against them. Sometimes the saying should be, “there’s no place like home…thank God!”
(And I could be saying that for a few reasons these days. Ugh.)
Are we talking real cockroaches that multiply and infest everything from floor to ceiling, like the movie Joe’s Apartment? Or are we talking palmetto bugs, which come in rather disturbing sizes but don’t multiply like the common German cockroach? The latter is just a creepy-looking nuisance, while the former can become a real problem if not dealt with properly early on.
Comment by diamond dave — 2011/07/01 @ 11:23
They’re roach roaches. Thankfully, the ones that do make it in the house are dying, just not fast enough for my liking. I really would rather they die outside and not end up indoors at all. I hate hate hate cockroaches
Comment by DaGoddess — 2011/07/01 @ 11:25
A friend of mine made a platform for his air mattress bed by wiring a bunch of milk crates together. This turned out to be brilliant because every time he moved to a new apartment, he used the milk crates as moving boxes.
Also, camping stores sell fold-able air bed platforms. Not sure how much those cost, though. You might check Craigs List or ebay to find one cheap.
Either of those would help get you off the ground. But, I don’t know…do roaches climb things? Ewww!
Comment by DogsDontPurr — 2011/07/01 @ 12:40
That’s an inspired idea! I was thinking I’d just haul a sofa in there instead. lol (Yes, I’m that lazy, that broke, that unimaginative)
Comment by DaGoddess — 2011/07/06 @ 00:17