“How big is your bladder?” my dear son asked me one night a few weeks back.
I told him it all depended on how much urine the bladder was holding. “It’s like a balloon. If there’s a lot of fluid in it, it gets big. If there’s not a lot in there, it’s smaller.”
“So, if it’s empty, how big?” he asked.
I made a circle with my thumb and index finger. “About this big most likely. Why?”
He looked at me with all the seriousness an 8-year old can muster. “Well, I have these two things that are like balls down here…” patting his groin.
I had to keep myself from laughing as I moved his hand up just a little higher. “This is where your bladder is. Those ‘balls’ are your testicles, sweetie. And, guess what? Some people do call them balls.”
“Yes, they do.”
Mr. Wide Eyes then asked what testicles are for.
“Your testicles produce sperm when you get a little older. Sperm is half of what is needed to make a baby.” I figured I’d offer up a little more information because I knew he’d ask.
“How does the sperm get from your testicles to where the baby is made?” Little Dude asked.
“Inside your body are these little tiny tubes that are all coiled up. They go from your testicles, meet up just below your penis, and then there’s just one tube. It takes the sperm from there to the end of your penis. It comes out there.”
LD didn’t believe me. He started to ask another question and stopped. Several times.
I asked him if he wanted to know more.
He looked at me and frowned. “Is this the part where girls are involved?”
“No, thanks. I’m done for now. I just really wanted to know if these balls were where all my pee is stored.”
“Nope, not there, buddy.”
“Okay, good. I don’t think I want to be playing with these if that’s where the urine is. I didn’t want to squeeze them and end up peeing my pants because of it.”
“Oh, okay.” What else could I say? “Um, just make sure, if you’re going to play with them that you do it at home and not out in public, okay?”
“No way, Mom! I wouldn’t do that. These are mine. I don’t want anyone else to see them.”
Yeah, yeah. He says that now. In a couple of years it’ll be a different story. And I’ll be ready to deal with that when the time comes.
Boys are so much fun.