2010/09/17

Je ne comprends pas

DaGoddess @ 16:10

Men, why are you so complicated?

Since when has it ever been a good thing to jump into a relationship with someone you don’t know?

Since when are you supposed to abandon all common sense and rush into something?

Never. That’s right. NEVER.

So how do you explain that to someone who is intent on rushing? I’ve said, “this isn’t a race. I enjoy spending time with you and it’s fun. I like getting to know you, but I don’t want a ‘relationship’ at this point. I want to find out who you are and what you’re about before I throw the door open and welcome you into my life any further.” Or something like that. In other words, I’ve said “I’m not looking for a boyfriend or anything serious right now. Slow down.”

And this…this is the guy who freaked out after we had one dinner and a movie and couldn’t handle “where this might lead.” Two days after we had said dinner and movie. Then he turned around within two hours and was all “I miss you!” “When do I get to see you again?” I did see him again and told him “this is cute once. Twice? It’s a little neurotic. Three times? Insane and I run away…if I haven’t already after the second time. SLOW DOWN, cowboy.” So, of course there was a second time and of course he sort of freaked out. And he wonders why I’m reluctant to spend time with him? Uh…call the Hardy Boys. They’re good at solving mysteries, my friend.

I don’t understand men, obviously. If I were looking for a relationship, I can guaran-damn-tee you I’d find no one. But now that I don’t want one, men are freaking out because I don’t. WTF? Why can’t we just hang out and have a few laughs? Why can’t we just chill?

Really, the last thing I want is to rush into something with someone I don’t know and then find out I don’t even really like who he is. It ends up with everyone getting hurt. Been there, done that. I don’t want to be hurt and I don’t want him to be hurt either. I think that’s the only decent way to approach dating anymore.

What’s up, guys? Why are you so complicated?

8 Comments

  1. I know you know that men ask the same question about women. Face it — men & women are completely incompatible, except when we’re not.

    Oh, look — :nana:

    Comment by Scott — 2010/09/17 @ 18:01

  2. No distracting me with your dancing banana, dammit! You men and your bananas. lol

    I wish I could say I give up on the man thing, but honestly, y’all are pretty fascinating creatures.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2010/09/17 @ 18:03

  3. You’re sure this is a guy??? Sounds like he’s not the one at all. Freaky deaky scenes in the first few dates? So many warning bells are sounding in my head, I can not tell you. Run far – run fast. Find someone else to spend the time with – yes even friendly time. Oh well.

    Comment by Teresa — 2010/09/17 @ 19:56

  4. I don’t fit the stereotype of “typical guy”, so I can’t help you much there. I’ve never been a believer of whirlwind romances myself, I believe love and relationships need to be carefully cultivated over time, as well as friendships. Consider yourself fortunate if I let you into the innermost chambers of my heart, because few have made it that far.

    Oh wait, am I starting to sound too much like a woman? :shock: ;)

    Comment by diamond dave — 2010/09/17 @ 22:30

  5. You know, it’s funny that it all comes down to what are perceived standards of behavior here.

    Why shouldn’t we be careful with our hearts? WE are the most precious gift we can give to one another, so why not take some time and make sure we’re giving the right bits of ourselves to the right people?

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2010/09/18 @ 02:50

  6. Nope, it’s a guy alright. Run across that type before; he’s probably just ready to settle down.

    One idiot [sorry, men!] started naming our children on our first date. I refused follow ups, trust me.
    Couple of weeks later he was engaged! He just needed someone he could cling to, but I expect a man to be just that and not my child.

    I feel sorry for guys a lot of the time; they’re a confused lot these days.

    And Dave… you’re a man. Trust us, we know these things. ;)

    Comment by Pam — 2010/09/18 @ 06:32

  7. Guys don’t have any corner on that market – it’s just that (hetero) women never have the opportunity to experience the inverse.

    Comment by Stu — 2010/09/20 @ 06:19

  8. I know we’re all complex creatures. I stipulated that earlier, it’s just that some of us are clearly a little crazier than others and it drives me nuts.

    Why can’t I meet someone normal, single, straight, available, willing to be in a…thing with me, and who is funny, interesting, and can carry on a decent convo? sigh. I’m so putting this on my Christmas list.

    Or maybe I should go out with the BBQ guy from the blues club. at least he smells really good and I know he’s a good cook…

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2010/09/21 @ 03:30

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