Does This Make My Ass Look Big?

DaGoddess @ 06:00

We were waiting for our photographic subjects to arrive at the beach, LD and I. We’d already spent quite a bit of time down on the rocks watching crab wars and dodging waves, and it was time to go back up by the street so we could be found. Chatting happily as we’re wont to do, catching up (and it’s been over a week since I’d seen my little “it’s ONLY a week at Boy Scout camp, Mom!” camper) on all sorts of things. I then told him, “I decided not to cut my hair after all.” He’s been opposed to it since I said I wanted it cut months ago, to the point where he almost cried one day.

“Really? You’re keeping your hair? Woo hoo!”

“Chill, baby. It’s just hair. And why do you like it longer anyway?”

“It’s how I identify you,” he says so…oddly. I mean, c’mon, if I were a zebra and he were looking at stripes to help pick his mom out of a crowd, I’d get that, but I’m not a zebra, nor an okapi, or anything other than a homo sapien. Obviously I need to cut back on his Discovery Channel, TLC, and Animal Planet viewing habits. And no more zoo trips for him!

I stared at him for a few very long seconds. “It’s how you identify me? What? That’s so weird! I love it!”

“You know what I mean. It’s one of those traits…it’s part of who you are.”

“So you don’t think my hair makes my ass look big?” I asked.

“You don’t have a big ass,” he replies. Then he laughs a little because he said “ass”.

“That laugh better be because you said ‘ass’ and not because you’re lying yours off!”

“No, really. Your butt’s fine.”

He’s going to make some woman a very good husband someday.


  1. :rofl: Yes, you’ve trained him well in the old ways. :biggrin:

    But that is seriously cute; an identifier. Heh…

    Comment by Pam — 2009/07/15 @ 06:39

  2. Sounds like he’s just used to mom looking a certain way and doesn’t want that to change. I think that’s a compliment.

    Comment by diamond dave — 2009/07/15 @ 07:03

  3. A compliment, possibly. As for everything else, I’m giggling over how much it sounded like a Wild Kingdom narration for a moment or so.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/07/15 @ 13:48

  4. In my younger days, hmmm maybe 18 years or so ago, the hub had a beard. I liked it. Then one day he shaved it. Pissed me off so I cut off my butt long hair and died it red (I’m a brunette). When I went to pick up my kids D2 cried and wouldn’t let me touch her. I don’t think she could “identify” me :biggrin:

    Comment by patti — 2009/07/15 @ 13:56

  5. yep. LD got upset once when I got a pretty dramatic haircut (he was still a baby). Once he was in my arms, no problem. But just looking at me? Didn’t like it a single bit.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/07/15 @ 14:07

  6. Brave man answering the dreaded “Does my …. look big in this…” He’ll do.

    Comment by The Gray Monk — 2009/07/15 @ 15:17

  7. Gota agree there. Braver than I. That’s a question I avoid at all costs. Or answer with a resounding “Of course not! What’d the Cubbies do today?”……..

    Comment by p2 — 2009/07/15 @ 17:51

  8. He’s a good kid. And so lovable. I think I’ll keep him.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/07/15 @ 21:48

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