2009/07/14

PROMPTuesday #64 – The Return of Pizza Face

DaGoddess @ 01:51

Just in time for my 25 year high school reunion, the Zit Meister has once again taken it upon himself to re-enter my life. It’s all part of his evil plan mark my face with as many pimples as possible and remind me that high school wasn’t always the grand time and place I remember it to be.

Well, screw him and the horse he rode in on.

I’m getting sun and zapping those blemishes with massive doses of Vitamin D3. That’ll teach him. Oh, who cares about the wrinkles! That’s one of the benefits of being fat. You don’t have as many wrinkles longer than skinny people. And that. Yeah, I had Mr. Blobbo visit me and add 50 pounds just so the former cheerleaders and popular girls could feel superior about their perfect bodies. (I’m such a giver.) But back to the zits. The wrinkles and leathery skin…whatever. And the eventual skin cancer? Let’s just say I’ll likely die before that kicks in. At least I’ll be looking healthy, right?

Hahahahaha! Silly Zit Meister thought he had me in his clutches. Wrong wrong wrong! Nope. Got it covered. If my other method for blemish healing doesn’t work, I’m going to the toothpaste plan. (Get this, if you put a teeny dab of toothpaste on a zit overnight for a couple of days, it goes away. Mostly.) ZM had no idea who he was dealing with. I’m gonna kick his ass from here to the moon (and all its craters…get it?). I’ll dispense Proactiv, Oxy-10, Noxema, and toothpaste to all the over-18 crowd. No more adult acne! I’ll create a legion of acne-fighting moms! We’ll be armed with Buf-Pufs and masks. We’ll share our secrets in underground cafes in the dead of night (or just after we send the kids to school since that’s, more realistically, the only time we have free). It’ll be big, I tell ya. HUGE! (Definitely larger than the three pimples I’m sporting.)

Viva la benzoyl peroxide!

So, who’s evil and taking over the world now, eh, Zit Meister? You picked the wrong woman to piss off this time. Mwahahahahahahahaha!

(Did that work out okay for prompt, Deb?)

4 Comments

  1. Did you see My Big Fat Greek Wedding? I’m thinking… Windex :rofl:

    Comment by Teresa — 2009/07/14 @ 13:21

  2. OMG.. You are too funny! Since I launched my biz I’ve definitely packed on a few lbs. myself and the stress of all (even good stress) turns my face into the of a teenage girl.

    To you and your zit… rock that reunion!

    Bradi
    Co-Founder
    MyWorkButterfly.com

    Comment by Bradi — 2009/07/14 @ 13:50

  3. Just don’t use toothpaste that has hydrogen peroxide in it, it’ll cause peroxide burns if you leave it on for more than a few minutes.

    Comment by Jan — 2009/07/14 @ 17:04

  4. Oh yeah, since I married into a Greek family once, I should have remembered the Windex. lol

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/07/14 @ 22:41

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