2009/04/14

PROMPTuesday #51 – The Beginning of the End

DaGoddess @ 00:20

Or the end of the beginning. Either way, this week’s PROMPT is a doozy!

The only direction we’ve been given is as follows:

She lifted the smudged glass to her lips, stopped mid-raise with that familiar lopsided smile and whispered, “This is the last you’ll see of me.”

And now, because I happen to have some crazy wild imagination, here is my take on that fun start.

—–

She lifted the smudged glass to her lips, stopped mid-raise with that familiar lopsided smile and whispered, “This is the last you’ll see of me.”

He looked at her, not believing a single word she said. He thought that smile was a little too playful, a little too sexy. So he leaned over to give her a kiss, stopping just short of her mouth when he saw the look in her eye. Nothing in her eyes said playful or sexy and, suddenly, he felt the icy fingers of panic rise within him.

“You don’t mean that, Jen,” he said. “I know you love me. I know you do. Why else would you keep coming back here? I know you love me. I KNOW it! It’s written all over every look you’ve ever given me. The way you touch me. The way…”

“Barry, it’s not as simple as all that. It’s about so much more than love,” she said. “I do love you. There’s absolutely no question about that. The thing is, I’m always… It’s never… There’s more to it than love. That’s all.” She shook her head and turned away. She couldn’t look at him any longer or she’d lose her resolve.

“Babe, please…don’t be like this. I want you to be happy and I don’t think this is going to make you happy,” he tried.

Just then, she felt the tears well up and she cursed him silently for knowing this most definitely wasn’t making her happy. Jen turned away and pretended to be looking for something in her purse. She knew he was watching. Damn him!

Finally, she turned back, not caring if he saw her crying. “It may not be making me happy, but it’s better this way. I just don’t see how this could turn out any other way. I’ve been waiting…I’ve been…waiting…for a couple years for some indication that you…that I…that…we were making some sort of progress. That we were going to move forward somehow. Instead, all I see is us in this holding pattern. Nothing’s changed. Oh, sure. Yeah, we’ve made individual personal gains and all, but us? Together? Nothing’s changed. And the longer this goes on, the harder it’s going to be for us to break this pattern. I do love you, but I can’t keep doing this.”

With that, she got up, grabbed her coat and purse, and ran out, hoping desperately that he’d come for her…that he’d let her go…that…oh, she didn’t know what she hoped. Well, beyond a cab showing up, that is. What she didn’t know, what she couldn’t know, was that Barry was standing not far behind her, in the shadows, watching. And whispering, “This is not the last you’ll see of me.”

11 Comments

  1. She lifted the smudged glass to her lips, stopped mid-raise with that familiar lopsided smile and whispered, “This is the last you’ll see of me.”

    How timely…

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/movies/14chambers.html

    Comment by Stu — 2009/04/14 @ 06:52

  2. Then, thinking better of it, she placed the glass back on the cluttered counter. Doesn’t this guy wash his dishes?, she thought. Typical. And the sheets don’t match, the leaning tower of Pizzaboxes in the corner are lovely, and, dude, buy some new boxers….

    Comment by p2 — 2009/04/14 @ 10:51

  3. Stu, I did see that news. Poor Marilyn.

    P2, matching sheets aren’t an issue, and the pizza boxes get taken out right away.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/14 @ 13:29

  4. That was awesome!

    Comment by The San Diego Hermit — 2009/04/14 @ 16:03

  5. Thank you.

    Did it seem like the end of the beginning or the beginning of the end? I can’t decide which way this is going to go. Some stories need a little push, you know?

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/14 @ 16:06

  6. End of the beginning, I guess.

    I could see this going in a number of directions: a) a passionate, rekindling of desire with the return to the flirt and the man’s pursuit. b) a creepy change for the worse where his love turns to unhealthy obsession and possession — fueling a series of stalking events. c) …

    Comment by The San Diego Hermit — 2009/04/14 @ 16:16

  7. Yeah, that’s where I’m at, too. Hmmm. Guess I better put my writer pants on!

    Thanks, Hermit!

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/14 @ 18:36

  8. It’s like classy, well written Harlequin with a thriller twist.

    You know what I think?

    I want another paragraph. Just one more?

    Or a whole book.

    I’ll wait for your reply.

    Comment by San Diego Momma — 2009/04/14 @ 21:17

  9. I’m still waiting for the story to reveal itself, Deb.

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/14 @ 21:29

  10. Is his promise to see her again a good thing or a bad thing….? One wonders. I do like this, though, the writing is top-knotch. I always admire dialogue writing that sounds as natural and realistic as this. Brava!

    Comment by g — 2009/04/14 @ 23:08

  11. g — the story hasn’t made up its mind yet and it’s driving me crazy! I need to know where it goes!

    Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/04/14 @ 23:43

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