Da Goddess

I don’t know how she does it, but Deb so frequently knows what I’m about to write and she makes it into a assignment that I’m beginning to wonder if she can guess what I’m thinking…right now. Or now. (Oh, I hope she didn’t catch the following thought…) It’d be spooky if it weren’t so great. Sometimes I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or if I should file a restraining order.

First, let me explain a bit. See, I’ve written a few posts for while I’m away, right? Don’t want the blog to languish or anything in my absence. And, while I was writing one entry, I started thinking of a “what’s in your wallet” post as well. (You’ll totally get this when you read that post.) Then Debbie comes along and makes it a PROMPT! That lady is just too into my brain. Either that or she completely possesses what little I have left. Either way, here we are.

Now the second thing you must understand about why this particular PROMPT is special to me is because…I graduated to big girl purses recently. Yes, indeedy. I sure as shit went ahead and got myself a real purse. (For those of you who haven’t heard me go on and on about micro purses and the lack thereof, well, consider yourselves lucky.)

About a month ago, I was out with Little Dude and some friends of ours. I had to return my spare camera battery (because I totally found the one I thought I’d lost, but which was hiding in plain sight, of course. Which reminds me, in addition to Deadliest Catch coming back [is Phil back? Who’s captain if he’s not? Will the boys spend money foolishly while he’s not around? Who are the new captains? What’s with the new boats? Will I ever visit Alaska?] on April 14 on Discovery, In Plain Sight will be returning on April 19 on USA [Is Mary going to chill out? Will her sister stop being such a wild child? Will their mother ever grow up?]. Just sayin’.). Anyhow, I found my extra battery and was returning the other one, right? Okay. As I was getting the receipt out of my ratty smallish black purse, I had a revelation. If I’m going to look successful, I should have a purse that reflects that attitude and goal. Thankfully my girlfriends were also in the market for purses and that’s where we headed. (Poor LD, you’d think he’d have learned to call in sick on days like this.)

We began discussing the merits of size in relation to handbags, purses, pocketbooks, or whatever other term you choose. I jumped in and said, “Stacy and Clinton say that a small purse makes a heavier woman look even bigger. I’m going to get a freakin’ HUGE purse so I look tiny.” I’m not sure that’s exactly what they meant, but I was running with it anyway. I did not go for the largest purse in the world, thankyouverymuch. However, I did manage to find one of reasonable size and yet it still feels smaller. It has, get this, a cute giraffe print to it. What? Shhh! Let me finish the story, okay?

Where was I? Oh yeah, giraffe print. Laughing Rhino…wild theme…giraffe print purse…that makes sense. A cute giraffe print with red trim. It’s much cuter than it sounds. Seriously. (Ask Cheri! She’s seen it. It’s cute, isn’t it?) Of course, this meant that I’d have to do something about all the loose stuff I’d normally just tuck into a pocket in my smaller purse. So I started looking for a wallet. I had my hand on a zebra patterned wallet and LD protested. “Get the giraffe print wallet, Mom. Trust me on this.” Yeah, I know, I’m taking accessory advice from a 12 year old boy. What can I say? He’s never steered me wrong! And yes, he’s very much all boy. He just knows what goes together. Anyhow, I then had to decide whether I should get the giraffe print wallet with the red trim (like my purse) or the one with the brown trim. LD pointed out that the red on the wallet was different from the red on the purse and to make a long story only slightly shorter, I got the brown trimmed giraffe print wallet.

Whew.

Now, what’s in my wallet? My driver’s license, photos of the kids (they finally have a real home!), my ATM card, a couple of business cards, discount cards for Von’s, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Staples, and my Kinko’s card. Oh, and $1.28. And two receipts.

In my purse, I have my pain meds. I never go anywhere without them. Sure, I sound like a walking pharmacy, but whatever. I also have (in a single small pocket within the purse) house keys on a little rhino keychain, lipstick, lip gloss (so girly, isn’t it? I know!), ChapStick, a box of wooden matches (have to take those out before I fly), and back to the main part of the purse, I have a pair of sunglasses, an envelope I really must throw away, two pens, and a business card holder that sports a leopard print (in keeping with my wild theme).

For once in my life, I have a big girl purse with lots of room and it’s kind of fun, too. It’s not some boring granny pocketbook. It’s totally…me! And somehow, I feel so much better walking around with this thing than I ever thought possible. Go figure.

Hey Deb, are you sorry you asked? Now, shh…I’m casting my votes for Fug Madness 2009.