PROMPTuesday #41 – Miserable Bitch
Yes, you just read that right. I said “bitch” — in the title even. But that’s okay. If it bothers you, you don’t have to read. I had to say it though. Because I realized that today — tonight — I am a miserable bitch. It’s not a physical misery, rather it’s my headspace.
I’ve been immersing myself in forums and websites dedicated wholly to photography. I so want to improve my craft that I follow all leads and become entrenched in various articles and their links to the point where I end up wondering where the time has gone when I find myself still reading and surfing three hours later.
I also subscribe to various sites so that when there’s an update, I’m notified. Heaven forbid I miss a word, a quote, a comma, or a pixel that might contain just the right pearl of wisdom I seek.
Apparently my ability to be judgmental is heightened when I’m tired, cranky, and medicated. Proceed with caution.
One of the updates that just landed in my mailbox led to guest post from a photographer who is doing something I’d dearly love to do: travel the world, taking photos, studying culture, experiencing the world firsthand. He’s been to places that are on my list of “places I must see before I die” and become involved with the traditions of some of the people he has met. However, in reading this person’s journal I’m struck by two things: 1) he’s young. And his immaturity surfaces from time to time in a way that grates on my nerves. I want to ground him for a month and then make him write personal apologies to those he may have offended by his rude behavior while on the road, just as I would do with my kids. 2) He can’t spell to save his life. Now, this is a very big pet peeve for me. I know it’s petty and rather stupid for me to point this out when his photographic work is simply astounding, but there’s something intriguing in his writing, too, that gives us insight into his travels that mere photos cannot capture. But a) his immaturity, once again, is sometimes too apparent, and b) the spelling and grammar errors are so obvious and ridiculous at times that they impede one’s progress through his posts. (I’m not the only one who’s noticed this, so maybe I’m not entirely miserably bitchy in this regard.)
Part of me really wants to write the guy and ask if I can proof his work before he hits publish. Part of me wants to shake some sense into him. And part of me wants to ask, “can I come along? I’ll take photos when possible and then I’ll edit all your work. Just take me me with you.”
I guess I’m not so much envious of his travels — I can make it happen for myself someday if I really work hard enough toward that end. But I am most definitely a miserable bitch in the sense that I see his photos as wonderfully professional and then his writing as completely amateurish. I find myself picking apart whole passages, mentally rewriting them so they make better sense and rise to the level of his photography. And I think that’s just not right for me to pick him, his writing, apart. What on earth gives me that sense of superiority? I mean, this is his work, his site, his observations. Who am I to say, “it’d be so much better if you wrote as well as you photograph”?
So then I start questioning my real unease. And I have to examine why I’m being so critical. Is it just because I haven’t had the same opportunities? Is it because I have unreasonable expectations of someone I don’t even know? Am I jealous? Or is it simply because I think this guy has so much potential and could go even further if someone took the time to edit him?
See? Miserable bitch.
Who am I to this guy? No one. He doesn’t even know I exist. I’m some o’ the wisp that drifts unbidden in his hallways of his website. Who cares what I think? His work is his work. My opinion of it matters not. And still, I find myself wanting desperately to go in with a red pencil and edit the hell out of it. But not the photos. They’re perfect the way they are.
Is it Tuesday already? Sorry; I’m coming down with a cold and up seems to be down and right is most definitely left.
We’re all too human, the lot of us. We fall into the same traps as everyone else… and though I’ve been known to make quite a few grammatical or literary faux pas, it makes me quite crazy to see it in work put forth by others. Other well meaning but hastily schooled persons, perhaps? My own husband and step daughters couldn’t spell if you opened the dictionary to the words! But I can’t do math. It’s a trade off.
When you can’t control a huge chunk of life that you would like desperately to alter, the need to control manifests itself in other ways.
Heck, I dunno. I’m not a shrink. I’m obviously a sick Princess.
:princess:
Comment by Pam — 2009/02/09 @ 06:39
Pam, this PROMPT was for last week. I just now got around to doing it. I’m slooooooooooow. Really slow. LOL But I did it! Finally.
You know, I don’t begrudge other folks’ success. I just would prefer the brilliant be brilliant in everything. I guess I expect a professional to be professional in all things. That includes personal blogs. Stupid, ain’t it?
We all make mistakes. I find typos in everything I write. Sometimes it takes me a few days, weeks, months, and yes, even YEARS before I spot them. I know though, when my photography site is finally reconfigured, there’ll be a lot more text and I’ll have to proof it 100 times. And have others proof it for me as well. I want to present myself in the best light as possible so that people have faith in my ability. I dunno. Guess maybe I shouldn’t blog so much when I’m tired and medicated and a wee bit cranky.
:sick: :tinfoil:
Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/02/09 @ 06:49
Right there with ya on the sick and cranky part…
:sick:
Comment by jan — 2009/02/09 @ 10:08
GET BETTER! :hug:
Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/02/09 @ 11:18
I don’t think you’re a miserable bitch. I think you’re an artist with a discriminating eye and a writer with extremely high personal standards. It offends your artistic nature to see something that is blemished… and this guy’s attitude and writing certainly are blemished, even if his artwork isn’t. I suspect that for you, it’s like fingernails on a blackboard — you couldn’t ignore it if your life depended on it.
Ah, well.
My guess is that you’re not the only one who feels that way.
As for the sick and cranky, :sick: that’s been me for the past five days. Who knew the human body could produce that much snot???
Comment by Omnibus Driver — 2009/02/10 @ 12:38
what’s the link ma’am.
So many sick people around. Hopefully weather better here when you come
Comment by Temple Stark — 2009/02/11 @ 21:14
the link to the guy’s site? Or the link to the PROMPT? Cuz the link to the prompt is at the end of the post. And I won’t link to the guy’s site. Actually, this post applies to TWO photographers now. Both are young. One can’t spell for shit and the other can’t spell for shit, nor can he use punctuation.
Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/02/12 @ 11:45
Hope everyone is feeling better!
Comment by DaGoddess — 2009/02/12 @ 13:59