2005/04/01

TGIF

DaGoddess @ 20:10

Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Texas Bar-B-Que, take in a bona fide rodeo, and have sex with a real cowboy.

Upon her return, her sorority sisters were curious as to how she fared.

“Let me tell you, they have a tree down there called a Mesquite and when they slow cook that brisket over that Mesquite, it’s oh so good. The taste is unbelievable! And, I went to a real rodeo…Talk about athletes! Those guys wrestle full grown bulls! They ride horses at a full gallop then jump off the horses and grab the bulls by the horns and throw them to the ground! It is just incredible!”

They then asked, “Well tell us, did you have sex with a real cowboy?

“Are you kidding? Once I saw the outline of the condom they carry in the back pocket of their jeans, I changed my mind!”

—————-
A Cajun walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my family jewels inside. The gator will close his mouth for one full minute. Then he’ll open his mouth and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.”

The crowd murmured their approval. The Cajun stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts into the alligator’s open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the assembly gasped.

After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals, unscathed as promised.

The patrons cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. “I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.”

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A Blonde woman timidly spoke up… “I’ll try it! Just don’t hit me so hard with the beer bottle!”
—————-

Sorry for the lack of posts and the ongoing lack of blogroll. I’ve had one of the worst weeks yet since I hurt my back. Everything that’s been posted this week has taken days to put together. I’ll give you the full rundown on what’s up with the back next week after my doctor’s appointment. The blogroll and the rest of my site design are at the mercy of those who know more about these things than I do. Skits kept me up and running. Mox has given up on the archives. Darling Anton is toiling away at them when he gets the chance. I may just have to run and help him with a project of his one of these days. Anyone else with experience and willing to try is welcome to email me at dagoddess – a.t. – gmail – dot – com.

In the meantime, click here to listen to some great music!

Today

DaGoddess @ 00:05

Today I lit a candle for you. It was the same one you lit for me exactly a year ago today.

I remember waiting in the airport, leaning against the column, thinking of our first kiss – the kiss I had yet to experience. I looked up in time to see you walking toward me, your hair slightly mussed, eyes looking a little sleepy. You stopped in front of me. You were smiling. You reached out and wrapped your arms around me, pulling me to you. I had to tilt my head back because you’re so tall. Remember me telling you how much I like tall?

You looked into my eyes and then we kissed. It was a wet kiss, not unpleasantly wet, just wet. I melted. I’d waited so long, not realizing I’d been waiting.

That’s the funny thing about you. I’d waited all my life to meet you and never even knew it until the moment we finally did.

So many things ended and began one year ago. The course of our lives changed, for ill or for good. Some may consider it all one big April Fools Day joke, but it isn’t. It never has been.

We’ve danced our dances and cried our tears. We’ve laughed ’til our sides ached and we’ve exchanged angry words. We’ve kissed and made up. We’ve said hellos and goodbyes. How many times? Does it even matter? All I know is that I cherish the time spent with you, be it face-to-face, over the phone, or however we’ve had to make contact. I wouldn’t trade this last year for anything.

Today I lit a candle for you. It was the same candle that you lit for me exactly one year ago today.

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