And this is what it looks like during a break in the playing.

Beware the Fucktard

Beware the misguided soul who encourages me to play with Photoshop.

My first effort, while technically deficient, was just absolutely sick. SICK.

[insert image that should have appeared here]

Okay, Greg’s NOT a fucktard. But, the idea to turn me loose with technology was horrible. He should know better.

Posted by DaGoddess at February 16, 2003 04:32 AM

If you know which photo belonged there and can recreate it for me, I will pay you $102.49.

You figure it out. You make it happen. The money is yours. The laughter belongs to everyone though.

* - * - * - *

Just for fun, here’s a haiku from the Haikutomatic (cuz it’s been a Lebowski kinda week):

Need to use the john
The queen in her damned undies
The bar’s over there

* - * - * - *

Mojo’s going to court today to find out if she can be granted emancipation. It’s kind of a bummer, but it’s a necessary step to get her some financial aid for college. Wish her luck, please.

* - * - * - *

LD’s big scary day was yesterday. We had an early morning conference with his teachers and counselors. I called the ex and participated via speakerphone. Ah, technology.

* - * - * - *

I can’t wait to be back in San Diego next week to take care of business and see the kids.

Here is one of my favorites. Odd, but still a favorite. And it’s not just because it’s Zach (although it helps). I think it’s the utter playfulness of the video itself. Whatever. I had to watch a couple times.

And now I must go bring up the other half of my right lung.

P.S. I’ve posted this before, but I’m posting it again because we should all laugh today. Oh, and if watch closely, you might catch a glimpse of me in the audience.

2) A computer not hooked up to the Internet suddenly stops working. It just freezes. The only way to turn it off is to hold the power button down for six seconds. Upon reboot, you can’t even get into operating the computer in safe mode. Again, when you finally get to the desktop, you can’t click on anything because it all freezes up. What’s the deal?

3) How can one body produce so much mucous?

I started getting sinusy last Saturday when I was still in San Diego. It’s hit me hard. So hard that my first New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas was spent at home. I watched fireworks in the distance for a few seconds and then crawled back into bed. Buster had made us both a great dinner, but that was it for my big celebration.

New Year’s Day was super rocky. Don’t even ask.

Yesterday was probably the second worst of it all. At least, I’m hoping that’s the case.

This sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing thing is really getting on my nerves.

Here are the good things about being sick on a holiday though:

1) You have a great excuse to avoid people/crowds/idiocy.

2) You can eat weird stuff and nobody questions you. Bagels for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? No problem. Same with soup. And cookies you got from your mom.

3) No one looks at you oddly because of your movie or TV choices. They just assume anything weird is the result of all the OTC meds you’re taking. (I found The Proposal rather charming, thank you very much. And I only watched half of Ace Ventura.)

4) That post-holiday puffiness? You can totally blame it on being sick.

5) The tears are attributed to an absolute need for relief from congestion.

And that’s it. Oh, yeah…6) people will read your lame list, feel sorry for you, comment like crazy, and keep coming back in the hopes that you’ll post something new in the next 24 hours. (You will, right?)

Seriously, thank you all for helping me get through the past year. It was a doozy. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Here’s to a fantastic and successful 2010 for all of us!

I suppose I could use this time to write some beautiful, heartfelt New Year’s post. I could. But not so much. My head is too fuzzy and mucousy yet.

I’m going to try to get a little more shut eye if it kills me.

Sappy, awesome post later. Maybe a long later. I don’t know.

And to think I almost missed it.

(Oddly enough, earlier in the evening, the Friends episode with Jill Goodacre — as played by Jill Connick — was on. You know, the one where Chandler’s stuck in an ATM vestibule with her. It was also the one where Ross got freaked out by a cat, Rachel found an Italian guy, and Phoebe wrote a blackout tune.)

Anyhow, I managed to flip channels quickly enough in my decongestant-and-Vicodin stupor and land on utter happiness.

Now I must phlegmily (or is it phlegmilly? phlegmally??) rotate my lungs and sinuses for maximum relief of congestion and pressure. Not to mention spread the mucousy love around.

Yeah, it’s sinus time again. Started in San Diego and carried over to Las Vegas. Did you ever notice that those two cities have the same number of letters in their names, in the same pattern, and that both contain at least one A and one S?

This post brought to you by Equate brand pseudoephedrine 12-hour decongestant. And maybe a little Vicodin and Ambien. They may have something to do with it.

Or not.

Cuz now I’m seeing some other guy attempting to massage Craiggles’ chakras. That has to be brought on by something else entirely. Maybe too much green tea?