My Glamorous Life Part 8310

Da Goddess @ 02:35

My day started off wrangling cats, giving them fresh food and water, then struggling to hold Celia and get her 1 cc of antibiotic down her throat. Fletch was a bit easier, but only just barely. He tried gagging and acted as if he were about to throw up the whole dose. Afterward, Fletch forgave me almost immediately, as he is wont to do. Celia, however, tried to make herself invisible and if I did see her? Well, the evil eye only partially covers the look she gave me.

Then I had to race in for a shower. I had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon and there were other things to do before we left. Fletch came into the shower to play a little bit before I finally kicked him out because it was all business today and no play. I finished up and called for King Arthur as it was his turn. I’m wandering around, gathering all the things to get dressed and the phone rings. It’s a couple hours before the appointment and I’m surprised to hear it’s the doc’s office. My original appointment was on Tuesday, which they rescheduled at the last minute (thank God! I was wiped out). This call was all about “do you think you can get an MRI and some x-rays done before your appointment today?” I ask first if they’ve been approved by the insurance company. I’m on hold forever and then am told they have been. I then let the gal know where I live and how long it normally takes me to get to the office, “a stop for the scans will mean I won’t be on time for my appointment.” I’m told not to worry; that the doctor will wait. I’m thinking maybe someone was supposed to send me on Tuesday for the scans and forgot.

Scramble, scramble, scramble. KA looks up the address of the imaging center and we set off. It takes us roughly 30 minutes to get there. I’m in. It takes me about 20 minutes to fill out paperwork and change and be led into the MRI room. As they’re setting up, I’m on the table, I’m off the table, I’m back on the table, oh wait a minute, we have to do this a different way, etc. Finally, the first scan is 20 minutes long. Set up for the second scan is about 10 minutes and the scan itself is 25 minutes long. No worries. Oh, wait. X-rays! Guy’s not ready for me yet. Then it’s rush, rush, rush, turn this way, turn that way, hold still, turn this way, hold, turn again, hold, turn and…oh, wait. We need to get the next tray. Hang on. Turn, hold, turn, hold, turn, hold, bend this way, hold, turn, hold, bend that way, hold, turn, hold, lean back, hold, turn, hold, open your mouth as far as you can, hold, okay, you’re done. Yay!

By this time, the doc’s office has called the imaging clinic and rescheduled my appointment AGAIN. Fine. I’m in pain at this point and really didn’t want to be in and out of the van and be examined with the push here, pull there, stand up, sit down, twist and shout, do the watusi, now buh-bye, see you in another six weeks. Instead, I simply call the office, confirm the reschedule (for next week), and off King Arthur and I go to the Olde Ship for supper. I order a Scottish Bridie for my meal. He gets meatloaf. Both are delicious. And both of us end up with leftovers.

We have one stop officially left on our list. We have to go to the one store where my blouse has finally come in. KA bought me a pretty blouse that ended up being too big. So instead of us shipping it back, we took it in to the store and did a bit more shopping, blah blah blah. Anyhow, the blouse was in and we were in that part of town, so in we went. He found me a cool t-shirt that hadn’t been there last week or ten days ago or something. We hasten out of there (because to stay longer would only mean spending more money and we just don’t need to do that). I ask for only one more thing before we head home: dessert. Krispy Kreme. We hit the drive-thru and then head for home.

At this point, we’ve been out of the house for almost 5 1/2 hours. And just as we get about 2 or 3 miles from home, the rain starts. Perfect timing! Our crazy day would have been impossible if the rain had come sooner.

Once home, we both get into comfy clothes and sink into our chairs. I pop a couple Tylenol and pray they do the trick until it’s time for my vicodin. They do well enough and it’s relatively quiet until it’s time to do meds again. (These, by the way, are pre-op meds for the cats who will be going in for their teeth on Friday.) Fletch is a snap. I pick him up, put the syringe in front of his face, he opened his mouth, and bing bang boom it was done. He got his treats and I went back to my chair. I pointed to the towel I had out for Celia, noted the meds were ready to go, and told King Arthur he was on his own. He wasn’t. I got the meds in her mouth, but he held her this time! (I have a rather deeeeeeep scratch on the outer part of my palm from her the night before.)

And here I am. It’s almost 03:00 and I’m just catching up on e-mail, blogging, a couple tv shows, and am slowly but steadily making my way to bed. I’m beat. The cats are beat. King Arthur is beat (he’s been in bed for a few hours already as he’s able to fall asleep quickly, whereas I am not so much).

Again, my glamorous life. Don’t you wish your life was just as cool?



Da Goddess @ 23:55

Fletch is feeling so much better! He’s still a little congested, but he’s back to chasing me down the hall after I come out of the shower. He’s back to playing in the shower. And finally, he’s back to chasing his feather.

I guess we can’t really call it much of a feather as it’s only an inch of feather that’s still attached to the dowel. But he loves it even more this way, I think. King Arthur and I go cat fishing with it. Fletch, for his part, usually goes crazy for it. The other day, it was just a couple minutes of trying to stop it as it went by. Now, he’s back to actively chasing it. Running after it. Trying to anticipate where it’ll be next. Leaping for it. Catching it, rolling around with it, and then carrying his catch with pride, parading around the house with his sweet little strut, head held high. Sweetly, he brought it back to KA while playing. Showing off his catch? Bringing it as tribute? Who knows? It’s just damn cute.

Celia has been mostly crawling into my lap, looking for love. I got three little love nips from her today; something she hasn’t done in ages. They’re very gentle, but pointedly firm in telling me she wants MORE LOVES. She gets ‘em, too. Her congestion is still there. Kind of juicy and loose, which is good. We’re taking a wait and see attitude on this one since she’s not overly lethargic like her brubby was. She had one day that was slow and that was it. Fingers crossed that she spontaneously heals once she’s been loved up enough. Yes, part of me thinks she “got sick” just to horn in on the attention Fletch was getting. Why not? It’s what kids do!

Tomorrow turns a little into playtime for us for a change. We’re heading down to SD to get some furniture at my sister’s. It’s my mom’s dresser and vanity/bench that once belonged to her parents. It matches absolutely nothing else in this house, but it’s family and it’s important to me. KA tried to find me something that matched what he has and I had to tell him I didn’t want anything else. I want something that holds meaning. He understood.

After we get done there, we’ll stop by and see my mom. Tried to get my dad to come to lunch with us, but he says he may be busy. Oh, well. Next month.

Had more time on the phone today with attorney and claims adjustor and pharmacist and doctor’s office as we attempt ONCE AGAIN to get my meds approved. You’d think this would be old hat by now and I wouldn’t have to fight it every month. No such luck. Tomorrow is my day off and away from all the crap. I’m just going to enjoy the drive with my honey, visit my family, and come home very tired to cats who will have missed us and WANT TO BE FED! They always want to be fed.

My life is so glamorous! I wouldn’t change it for anything.


Medicated Day #2

Da Goddess @ 09:38

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention: I’m back on my meds!

It’s taking some getting used to, but YAY!

The new doc is totally old school. No-nonsense, very direct, and a mover and a shaker. Last week’s appointment was followed with an appointment to their in-house pain management guy. THE VERY NEXT DAY! Took until Monday to get my meds (insco snafu, per usual), but now that’s all taken care of. I see the pain doc in a month and the other doc in a month and a half.

Oh, and get this: their office called me on Saturday to set up my appointment with the pain management doc. I told them I’d already done that and they were surprised it had already happened. Surprised, but happy. Just like me. And doubly happy they called to make certain I was getting the treatment I needed.

Whew! I think I need a nap. I done worked myself into a frenzy with all this excitement.


Order in the Court

Da Goddess @ 12:37

Headed back to court in the morning. Fingers crossed that we finally get the judge to impress upon the ins co to quit playing games and get me into a doc, cover my meds, and basically quit screwing with me all the way around.

It’s exhausting. My body can’t take this. Forget the pain. Forget the insomnia. Forget the strain on my relationships and my mental well-being. Let’s just get me to the point where my heart no longer skips beats and it doesn’t feel like I’m going to pass out every time I stand up or turn my head or blink (side effects of the cessation of one of the [spendy] meds [I can't pay for out of pocket and, anyway, no longer have a script for]). We won’t even mention the weight gain. We won’t. Let’s just say I need to be back in with a doc and on meds and leave it at that.

So, prayers, please. Thanks.


Clear Horizon

Da Goddess @ 15:12

At least, I think the horizon is clear. Maybe clear-ish. Clearing?


My voice is creaky, but I can talk. My throat hurts, but only in a slightly scratchy way. My sinuses are congested, but not to the extreme. My head hurts, but it’s a cushioned, spongy rattle now. And only one eye burns at a time.

That’s progress, right?



Da Goddess @ 08:10

I’m on day 2 of a throat so sore that I can’t talk without feeling as though it’ll burst into flames or rupture, bleeding uncontrollably. My rattly headache (which I originally typed “deadache”…paging Dr Freud!) is now down to an occasional thumping.

So, please, let’s keep it down to a dull roar around here. Don’t make me come in there and yell at you!


Time to return to endless movies and other recordings mixed with intermittent sleep. These days I’m sleeping in bursts of 30 minutes to 2 hours. I’ll take it when I can get it.

Hopin’ you’re all feeling better than this.


Open Heart

Da Goddess @ 03:15

Since I’ve been unable to sleep normally tonight, I watched a documentary called Open Heart on HBO. It’s about children in Rwanda who require cardiac surgery. There’s only one hospital in all of Africa that performs the operation…in Sudan. The children must travel without family. Eight kids. Facing high risk open heart surgery. Alone. But they do have each other, and they have the medical staff.

It’s absolutely beautiful. I wept.

The courage of the children…of the parents who must send them…it’s astounding.

If you get a chance to catch this doco, you will not be sorry. I promise.


Protected: What’s Your Resolution?

Da Goddess @ 06:13

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Real Woman and Proud of It!

Da Goddess @ 02:50

You can have an opinion. You can be outspoken about it. But you can’t tell me that I should feel bad about myself just because we don’t agree.

I will never again weigh what I did in high school. I will likely never again weigh what I did on my wedding day. I’m okay with that. I’d love to be that thin again, but I refuse to spend my every waking moment pursuing a thinner body instead of living my life.

Instead of working out all the time and counting every calorie that goes in my mouth, I eat healthier foods, do my best to stay active when my body allows it. I do this for myself and my loved ones, but NOT because someone who thinks “thin is in” thinks I should.

Oh, and even when I got married, I weighed 145 lbs and was considered overweight by the doctor’s body mass index chart.


It Only LOOKS Like a Crime Scene

Da Goddess @ 23:58

The poor kitchen took quite a hit tonight. I decided I needed to make quiche.

King Arthur was on bacon frying and cheese grating duty while I put together the pie crust and chopped all the garlic, green onions, spinach, broccoli, and ham. I reused the same bowl for the cheese that I’d used for the pie crust and only used one cutting board for all the choppy stuff, but it STILL ended up looking like I’d hauled out every bowl, knife, measuring cup, pan, and mixing utensil in the house.

It’s almost midnight and the quiche is baking. I feel good about it. It smells good. And I’m thinking all the freshy fresh veg will help me get over this sinus/bronchial stuff quicker. I’ve been throwing plenty of fruit and veg at it and now I’m adding protein. Something HAS to work soon. (King Arthur made some awesome chile verde earlier today, so there was that, but I needed quiche. NEEDED IT.)

King A was awesome in that he jumped in and did dishes, which I appreciate beyond all words. My back is dead. My lungs are dead. All I can do is wait for the pies to finish baking, cool, and refrigerate them and I can go lie down again. It’s totally worth it. Quiche is good.

P.S. Real men DO eat quiche. Real men eat whatever’s put in front of them and don’t bitch about it. And that’s the end of that.

P.P.S. It’s just before 01:00 and the quiches are out of the oven. They look perfect and smell delicious! King A says there better not be any slices gone when he gets up. I told him I couldn’t promise anything.


Phlegmicidal Thoughts

Da Goddess @ 08:25

If I could just manage to get my body from producing all these horrendous secretions, I might actually feel somewhat sane again. Of course, that’s all relative. The sanity thing.

Right now, all I want to do is kill every single mucous cell in me. I’m tired of having stuff dripping down the back of my throat. I’m tired of feeling something stuck between my nose and throat (c’MON! It happens and it sucks!). Sometimes it feels like the mucous is so thick and ropy that it’s tied to my septum, my eardrums, and dangling deep into my lungs. It’s gross. It’s impossible to get rid of. I’m tired of horking like some crazed animal in an attempt to get the stuck thing to go one way or the other. I’m tired of blowing my nose. I’m tired of coughing. I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired.

I slept about 15 hours yesterday.

And I’m fairly certain this whole thing started at faire. The pollen from the trees, the dust on the ground (I know for sure that I blew about 4lbs of the stuff out of my nose the first night alone), and the general change in the weather. You add all that together and it’s the perfect storm for my sinuses. Once I start down that path, it goes deep into my head and then my lungs. Doesn’t matter that it starts off allergenic, I can turn that into a bacterial infection in two seconds. Thankfully, this wasn’t super painful. Merely irritating. And since I’ve been through this a million times in my life, I know the best remedy is a combination of fluids, time, decongestants, cough syrup, rest, and grumbling. If the pain increases and if this lasts more than two weeks, I’ll have to consider a pricey trip to a doctor and some antibiotics. For now, though, I’m working the other program.

Meanwhile, please send phlegmicidal thoughts my way. In the immortal words of Bartles and Jaymes, thank you for your support.


Doubling Up

Da Goddess @ 06:33

Since I’m home alone this weekend nursing my…cold…or whatever, I’ve been doubling up on my television watching. Movies, documentaries, tv shows, music, etc. Certain shows need to be left for when King Arthur returns, but the rest is all for me. Obscure movies have become my favorite. And documentaries. I simply love to dig in and sip my tea as I while away the hours entertained, learning, and the like. I’ve also managed to finish two books. I had them going simultaneously. It was a way to spend my time and not feel so alone.

Go find a copy of Deadline by Chris Crutcher. It matters not that it’s a young adult novel. The fact of the matter is, it’s a wonderful playbook for anyone of any age’s life, at any stage. It’s insightful, engaging, touching, and just plain funny. Young adult novel, my ass. This book is a must read for everyone!

I’ve also read Last Girls by Lee Smith. It’s good. It’s one of those books you feel like reading just from looking at the cover. And it draws you in.

I’m in the middle of a Sherman Alexie novel, and if you haven’t read any of his works, please, go do so NOW!

And now I’m off to swig from my bottle of cough syrup once again. Seeing as how it’s kept me from coughing so hard I gag, I think it’s probably my wisest course of action at this point.

P.S. If you get a chance to see Life According to Sam, you won’t regret it. Also, Toast.


Peeves and Praises

Da Goddess @ 10:58

Let’s get the peeves out of the way first.

At the hospital the other night: in the waiting room, a family had two small children with them. One was a baby who was intermittently fussy and then unsupervised the rest of the time. (Would seem to go hand in hand, no?) The other child had an unrelenting cough. Apparently, the parents had informed folks earlier that it was “just asthma”. It didn’t sound like an asthmatic cough to me. And if it had been, why were they not giving him his inhaler. I was angry because the last thing anyone in that waiting room needed was to be exposed to illness that could then be passed along to a newborn. When the family finally left (after HOURS OF EXPOSING EVERYONE!!!) we all breathed a huge sigh of relief and grumbled about the parents’ stupidity and lack of consideration of others and of their son’s health.

Babies R Us: Lady M desperately needed a smaller size breastshield for her breastpump. We ran over to Babies R Us to get what she needed, only to find they don’t stock the small size. You have to order it online. Now, with all the research and push to get new mothers to breastfeed, and the extensive stock of supplies for such at Babies R Us, wouldn’t you think they’d carry all sizes? “You can order it online,” said the very sweet clerk. I tried to keep the steam from blowing off the top of my head as I replied, “but that doesn’t help her now, does it? She’s in pain and she’s having to do all sorts of insanely things to pump at this point.” The woman agreed with me and recommended we try area hospitals’ breastfeeding stores. As it was after 5pm, none were open. It truly angered me that Babies R Us wouldn’t at least keep a couple boxes of the small shields on hand “just in case”.

Infant clothing manufacturers: Whatever happened to the onsies/bodysuits that snapped up the front center, from crotch to neck? These little onsies were lifesavers when LD was a baby. The only ones I can find online are over $15 EACH. Ridiculous. If anyone has some left over from days gone by, please let me know. Or if you know where we can get some, please please please please let me know!

Butting heads: King Arthur’s ex-wife has been a doll and has been doing so much for Lady M as she gets settled in at home. However, after I changed Baby E’s diaper, I was going to swaddle her again and was told I was doing it wrong. That was after I was supervised changing the diaper. Now, I know she’s just being a concerned grandmother, but after years as a pediatric nurse, nanny, and a mom, I think I’ve changed more diapers than she has, as well as swaddled more babies. I took a subtle deep deeth breath and let it slide, all the while wanting to show her how to really bundle a baby. The moment past and all was well afterwards. Still, that, in addition to the next item, it was a bit of a vexatious day that left my back knotted even more than it should have been.

Grumpiness: For some reason yesterday was one of those grumpy days for King Arthur. I truly felt invisible or, alternately, wanted to BE invisible. One minute he would act as though my input was ridiculous and unimportant, and the next minute I was incurring the wrath of Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. I ended up feeling surly as well as hurt. It wasn’t pretty. I finally said a prayer, asking for patience and grace and we managed to work in a laugh or three.

Now, on to the praises.

Corel: I was finally able to get in touch with someone who helped me get PaintShop Pro X5 installed on the new computer. All that’s missing is the Nik plugin and I’m simply awaiting the customer service agent’s response to my email. She’s been an absolute angel. I am grateful.

Medication: while I have a limited supply of my pain meds, I’m grateful to have what I do. I was carefully rationing them the past couple weeks, but I finally said, “fuck this” and took what I needed, when I needed, and have been feeling a bit better. I know there will be hell to pay when I run out, but this respite from excruciating pain has been quite welcome.

Prayer: it may seem a bit trite, but I’ve found that praying for guidance in times when I feel things getting to me has been, literally, a Godsend. I’ve found more peace in prayer in the past couple weeks than I have ever experienced in my entire life. Funny how the simplest solution is always the last thing you try.

And with that, I’m off to finish packing. We’re heading to Vegas for Ren Faire with friends, old and new, with a couple other very fun events planned. A CD release party tonight and Human Nature on Sunday. While the preparations for this trip have been fraught with disaster, we’re all looking forward to it.

So now I’m outta here.

I wish you a relaxing and beautiful weekend, my friends.


Everyone Calls Her Windy

Da Goddess @ 11:18

We have crazy strong winds right now. Yesterday and today.

Our tall, strong ficus ended up looking a bit like Rapunzel on a bad hair day yesterday. The poor thing was turned practically inside out. I slept through most of the day when the winds had picked up so I was a bit shocked when I went out and saw what had happened. My back has been so bad I’ve fallen several times, smashing my shoulder. It hurts to sit. It hurts to stand. It hurts to walk. It hurts to lie down. Basically, I’m fucked.

I’m hoping most of the pain eases up when the wind does. It would be rather nice if that could happen.

So, Dear Mother Nature: PLEASE STOP!

Thank you.


TJH: Inspire – Cool Relief From a Hot Day

Da Goddess @ 04:40

As I type this (last night since this isn’t posting til morning), it’s almost 9pm and still over 90 degrees. The air is dead. No breeze. King Arthur is recovering from oral surgery, in pain, not eating, and I feel horrible because there’s nothing I can do to ease his pain.

My new doctor is wonderful. The insurance company: not so much. They still insist on making it difficult for me to fill my meds. As well, I’ll be needing to see a pain management doctor and I’m pretty certain insurance will raise a fuss about that. So I spend days hoping and praying my meds come through soon and I can get back on the pain management path that has become a rather good “habit”. Yes, I said habit. It sounds horrible, as if I have a drug habit, but what I really mean is that it’s taken me years to develop a routine and a regimen that requires me to change certain patterns in life so that I can function. By making these changes, I integrate all the new things I need to do into my life…I make them new habits. Thinking of pain management as less a chore and more “healthy habit”, it’s easier for me to live with the accommodations necessary to do what I need to do. Pain habits. Pain relief habits. It’s just how life is anymore.

King Arthur is having to make all sorts of adjustments to life because of this. And then we throw in his surgery and post-op pain. Fun times.

Between his pain and mine, we’re just a couple bumps on our respective logs.

While it’s true that SoCal isn’t as hot as Vegas in August, it’s still uncomfortable and keeping us indoors for the bulk of the day. At some point today, we’ll need to go out and pick up his prescriptions, and — hopefully — mine as well. With any luck, it’ll have cooled down some.

Regardless, these little flowers made me feel cooler just looking at them.

Cool and a nice break

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