Da Goddess

I’ve been battling a series of unfortunate and disabling headaches the past week or so and I’ve just about had it. I’m never sure how long I’ll be down or if I’ll ever get over it at all.

The one thing I’m pretty sure of is it’s all because of my neck. When my neck stops hurting as much as it does when my headaches are at peak awfulness, the headaches stop. This has been the case since day one. With the exception of that post-op window of neck pain relief. Boy, do I ever miss those days!

So, as I’m wont to do, I go searching for things to make me happy, to distract me, to just find something to make me FEEL something. And I saw Tim Minchin tweet a link to a speech he gave. It made me cry. It was a good cry.

Then, I watched Better Things with Pamela Adelon. The episode was “No Limit”. I cried again. It was cathartic. I usually, at the very least, tear up watching Better Things, but every once in a while I full on bawl. This episode did that to me. Adelon is, quite simply, the funniest, realest, most honest voice of my particular generation of moms, especially single moms. She gets it right. She knows. And she’s just so open about all of it…what we get right and what we get wrong. It touches my heart every. fucking. time. (Pamela, if you somehow see this, THANK YOU for everything — for making me laugh, cry, and mostly making me feel seen and heard and validated.) By the way, if you’ve not seen Better Things, do yourself a favor and watch. Start at the very beginning and work your way up to the current season. You owe yourself this show.

My headache isn’t gone, but I feel better for having cried, if that makes any sense. It’s a start, right?

P.S. my only other attempt to brighten my mood as I fight all this bullshit pain comes down to these two words: purple hair.

One of my go to methods to combat depression is watching a show I love.

I’m ten hours in (today alone) on Black Sails. Rewatching this show makes me feel like I can win just about any battle ahead. If Captain Flint and his pirates can face down England and Spain, as well as various mutinous factions within, I can surely prevail my technologically advanced first world problems, right?

P.S. I’ve appropriated the theme song for myself.

P.P.S. If you’ve not seen the show, look for it and watch. Four seasons. All worth your time. Get through the first season’s sex scenes (they’re important to the political climate for women… one of the few positions of power available to women of the time) and just dive into the golden age of piracy and the imagined events leading up to Treasure Island. It’s beautifully filmed, acted, and scored.

We all judge ourselves by what we deem effortless by other people. It’s terribly unfair to ourselves and terribly unfair to those whose work or lives we admire.

Chris Addison wrote the best post about this very subject and I can’t think of a single thing to add to it. It’s brilliant as is.

Another thought: if you admire what someone else has created, let them know. Even if they never get your message, be it spoken or written or whatever, your thoughts add to the power and energy of goodness in the universe. We need that more and more every day.

From the movie, Milton’s Secret:

If you fill your glass with hate and fear, pour in your worries about the past and future, you’re probably going to be miserable. If you fill your beaker with love and caring, miracles can happen, wars can end, people can be different. That’s the secret. We all can change. You just have to take meanness and turn it into gold. With that, the war is over.

We’ve lost another national treasure today as Rose Marie passed away.

I’m so glad she got to see her life’s story on the big screen, reminding so many people of her talent, wit, and grace.

Heaven just bloomed a new Rose.

This is for the ones not home for Christmas, but would like to be. And this is also for those at home for Christmas wishing the one who wasn’t home at Christmas could, indeed, be home for Christmas.

Happy Christmas, everyone! Merry New Year!

From Da Goddess, the slightly disgruntled helpers, and the completely disgruntled helpers who may not have remembered to take off the cranky tag they attached while still hungover from last night’s attempt to find holiday cheer.

My favorite. Year after year. I can’t NOT share this with you. John Berry’s voice brings tears to my eyes and I do not apologize for that.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to each and every one of you! May you be safe, sheltered, warm, dry, and have love in your heart.

By the way, in case you weren’t aware, Rose Marie is on Twitter and has a brand spankin’ new movie! The movie is called “Wait For Your Laugh” and chronicles her 90 years in show biz. Her Twitter handle is @RoseMarie4Real and is very much a good follow!

This was a tough one for me to post. I’ve still not fully accepted Tom Petty is dead. I still hadn’t seen him in concert! I still hadn’t the chance to photograph him! I still hadn’t heard enough new music from him. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Back in the day, Tom Petty was was my backup rockstar pseudo boyfriend. Robin Zander was my first. (Technically, Mickey Dolenz and Davy Jones were the original pair, but I’d grown out of them at that point. Plus, they were much older and, therefore, unattainable. Yes, that’s the logic of a kid. But I maintain kid logic is awesome!) So, there I was, with Robin on one arm and Tom on the other. Where Tom would occasionally pull ahead was how deeply I felt some of his songs. His duets with Stevie Nicks were, in my opinion, perfection. Something about the way they harmonized made my heart soar and break simultaneously. Even without the duets, there was an honesty to the music and the lyrics. Now, we’ll never get another new song from him.

In the end, I decided to post the video because it’s a good reminder of an incredible artist I will always remember with great joy.

Vale, Tom.