Silly Stuff

Da Goddess @ 18:33

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

And, I know guy who knows a guy who knows someone who says that math is fun.


Can’t Hardly Wait

Da Goddess @ 12:12

…til college football is over.

Don’t get me wrong, I like football. But, I’ve reached my limit on the Lisa Frank sticker books they call helmets these days. I know, I know. They’ve been doing this for years. The thing is, it’s gone too far. When you see helmets almost completely covered by stickers, it seems a bit overkill.

Seems to me this sticker reward system is out of control and needs to be rethought.

Okay, so let’s break this down.

In most cases, stickers are awarded for on-field outstanding plays. I get that. Some teams also award stickers for excellence during practice. Huh? Some award stickers for academic achievements. Uh, okay, though there are so few academic stickers. That still begs the question of why? WHY? It smacks of patting a child on the head for peeing in the potty. Or worse, trophies for everyone who just happened to show up. Or it’s like basketball. Too many points. If points are that easy to get, why not make the game more challenging so the points actually mean something? How about this as an example? Some poker tournaments tout the number of chips in the millions (which don’t equal actual dollars). At some point, once you get over x number of chips, they lose meaning. 34,820,109 chips! Ooooh! He’s betting all of ’em! Yeah, but what are their actual value? And that’s where these helmet stickers now reside. In Excess Land.

Again, it seems to me this sticker reward system is out of control and needs to be rethought and revised.

Look, we’re talking about GROWN MEN here. Collecting stickers. Why not just go whole hog and really get Lisa Frank rainbow farting unicorns for the helmets? Teams could buy in bulk and schools could save lots of money that could then be used on other programs…or lower tuition.

If you’re going to award stickers to players, make ’em count. Use them for extraordinary achievements on the field. Not practice. Not the classroom (that’s for parents and teachers to do). And don’t call catching a ball or scoring a touchdown “extraordinary” because, let’s face it, a football player is SUPPOSED to catch a ball, score touchdowns, protect the quarterback, tackle, etc. Extraordinary achievement on the field stickers should be awarded for actions that aren’t part of normal play. Like, perhaps, carrying a teammate off the field after he’s been hard hit. Reviving a downed player. Preventing a drunk fan from getting in his car and plowing into someone after the game. Okay, that, technically, is off-field, but if the player climbed into the stands during the game, I’d go along with that.

Coaches, let’s be real. No player really needs these stickers. No player really earns these stickers when all they’re doing is THEIR JOB on the field.

In the everyday world, the vast majority of us don’t get stickers for simply doing what we’re meant to do. If we did, mothers, fathers, teachers, doctors, nurses, cops, firefighters, our armed forces, etc. everywhere would have to wear entire suits made of stickers for what they accomplish each and every single day.

Let’s leave the stickers for children who need incentive to use the potty, read a book, clean their rooms, or go a whole day without pulling someone’s hair or biting a friend.

Until this sticker trend is revised, I’m only going to root for teams who DON’T use them. So, college teams, you’re on notice. If you want this gal cheering you on, you have until next year to get this shit figured out.


Furry Ankles

Da Goddess @ 09:50

First off, if you like these things, good for you. But, puhleeeze! What is the possible appeal of furry leg warmers?

furry ankles are not attractive

I’m watching the morning news and they have models in lingerie (yes, on the morning news!) with these insipid furry leg warmers on. WHY? They look ridiculous. Are women who wear them subconsciously wishing they were Clydesdales?


Merry Thanks Stuffed Turkey Day!

Da Goddess @ 04:55

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!

May you be blessed with much, loved by many, and go hoarse from all the praises you sing today.

As I said last year:

Today I forgive the idiocy and cruelness. Today I focus on the kindness and love. And today I offer my thanks all those around me for being a part of my journey.

That should be my mantra each and every day. Maybe I need to start making Thanksgiving resolutions instead of waiting until January 1.

And it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without some form of this:

Monica with the turkey


And There Was Much Rejoicing

Da Goddess @ 23:13


LD, who missed his train and had to take the next one, arrived safely. We’ve had a good day.

We had game night. We played a new game called “Quick Wit”. Found it on Ebay while looking for Chinese Checkers. My particular version is dated 1938. And it’s FUN! At some point, there were tears, laughter, spontaneous belching and farting, and lots of shouting. I’m surprised the cops weren’t called. All that fun was loud and thoroughly enjoyable.

Quick Wit

The premise of the game is simple: there are 50-some cards with letters of the alphabet (excluding X and Z) with prompts for categories. The first person to shout out an answer that fits the category gets the card. The player with the most cards at the end of the game wins. I did okay. And I think I was the loudest. Imagine that.

Tons of fun for a couple bucks. Hours spent laughing with family and friends…PRICELESS.

All we need now is a regular table (we have bar-height and stools) so I don’t kill my back during game time and meals and we’re in the money!

Bonus: The Garden Wife is in town and we’ll be meeting up tomorrow. Woo hoo!

Hope you’re all having a great weekend!


I Got Mine

Da Goddess @ 12:23

Ready for the apocalypse

We’re off to battle Windows 8


Everyone Has to Start Somewhere

Da Goddess @ 05:10

Mr. Quimby: So, you agree to start your great climb to success, your climb to the very top?

Norman Phiffier: I’m ready to climb!

Mr. Quimby: By starting at the very bottom?

Norman Phiffier: Right down below the depths of the bottom, deep, lowest place where I am, I’ll start.

I love Jerry Lewis movies and I ain’t afraid to say it.


Yes, I Really Do Believe Cats Think Like This

Da Goddess @ 13:11

Because they ARE refined creatures, you know.

Shakespearean insults + cats = truth


More Bacon!! II

Da Goddess @ 08:22

And this is yet another reason I say bacon should be its own food group.

Baconvision: Jim Gaffigan on Bacon

Here’s a really funny video clip of comedian Jim Gaffigan doing a bit about bacon on Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Transcript below.

“I just had some bacon. Anybody ever had bacon before? It’s good. Oh, my greasy lover, bacon. It’s the best!

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon. If it weren’t for bacon, we wouldn’t even know what a water chestnut is. “Thank you bacon. Sincerely, Water Chestnut III.”

And bits of bacon, bits of bacon are like the fairy dust of the food community. “You don’t want this baked potato? Brrring! Now it’s your favorite part of the meal. Not interested in the salad? Bibbity bobbity BACON. I just turned it into an entree.”

But once you put bacon in a salad, it’s no longer a salad. It just becomes a game of ‘find the bacon in the lettuce’. It’s like you’re panning for gold. Eureka!

There is something dishonest though about putting bacon in a salad – it’s kind of like smoking while you jog. “I want the BLT, but I’ll just get a salad with bacon and tomato. Can you put it between two pieces of toast and stick a toothpick through it? That’d be great…”

It’s amazing the shrinkage that occurs with bacon. You start with a pound, you end up with a bookmark.

I never feel like I get enough bacon, at breakfast it’s like they’re rationing it. “Here’s your two strips of bacon.” “I want more, more bacon!”

Whenever I’m at a brunch buffet and they have that big metal tray filled with the 4000 pieces of bacon, I always think, “If I was here by myself…I would eat only bacon. I would steal this tray, go lay down, and eat bacon all day.”

But you can’t eat bacon all day, cause it’s horrible for you. You know bacon’s bad when a healthier choice is a donut. And we’ve known bacon is bad for thousands of years. It’s literally a restriction on entering certain religious. “Our rules: No Killing, No Cheating on Your Wife, No Bacon.” “Oooh, what was that last one?” “No Bacon.” “Aaah, I’m in the wrong line.”

“How many bacon jokes is he gonna do? It’s like, come on!”

But bacon is that good. I bet if you put bits of bacon on a strip of bacon, you could travel back in time. It’s like a tasty vortex.

And fat back, supposedly fat back is like bacon on steroids, you know. I’ve never tried fat back, probably because it’s called ‘fat back’. I don’t know what creeps me out more – fat or back. Why don’t they just throw in hairy while they’re at it? “That’s some good hairy fat back. That reminds me, your mother called.”

“That’s gotta be the end of the bacon jokes…”

I even like the name Bacon. You can’t tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn’t somehow tied to his name. You’re not going out to see a Kevin Hot Dog movie. “Who’s in this movie?” “Kevin Bacon.” “Sounds good.”

Thank you very much. You’ve been like bacon.


The Haircut and the Flowers and the Crows

Da Goddess @ 22:31

Today started early, was busy, and now it’s wonderfully quiet and calm.

King Arthur and I went out to get orchid food for the orchids we have in our bathroom (we threw out the bamboo that was dying very rapidly [without reason, I might add]) and thus Home Depot seemed like a good place to get it. We walked out of Home Depot with orchid food, 4 tubes of caulk, a bottle of pest spray, a flat of lobelia, a big pot of cannas, a medium sized pot of blue salvia, a big pot of red Mandevilla, and a free cutting of some sort of bromeliad. Oh, and a huge bag of potting soil.

Tomorrow is planting day. Hip hip HUZZAH!

We ran our purchases home, unloaded, and then the King dropped me off to get my hair cut. I had the gal take three inches off. Still plenty of hair left on my head and it’ll grow back quickly enough…now that the dead ends aren’t dragging the rest down.

From there, we hit Walmart to pick up baking supplies. Yeah, I’m gonna be doing some baking this weekend. King’s mother and sister and cousin are going to be coming over this weekend for dinner, so I need to contribute something. I’m making lemon squares. And a blueberry pie.

Now, about the crows…

Two days ago, King and I watched from the porch as two crows flew in, one landing in the street and the other landing on the roof of the house in front of us. The crow on the ground quickly hopped over to some rocks and plucked himself a tasty snack of a lizard. The roof bird noticed this and hopped down to the ground. Whenever lizard bird would be messing with the lizard, roof bird would hop closer, stealthily. When lizard bird would stop and turn around to see what the other bird was doing, roof bird would look away all non-chalant-like. And then the games would start up again. This went on for a good ten minutes (with us narrating the events, laughing our asses off) before lizard bird decided he’d had enough and flew off.

So much for our entertainment that evening.

Much like tonight. We’ll probably head out to watch the planes as they fly in to land at various airports. We missed, however, our regular entertainment of fireworks at Disneyland. We’re close enough to hear them, but just slightly too far away to see them. Sigh. But I close my eyes and imagine them and enjoy myself nevertheless.


Recipe Needed

Da Goddess @ 23:44

Anyone with a good recipe for cockatiel?

Bird brain is about to have his life ended abruptly if he keeps attacking my dad and me.


Struggling With a Sense of…IDUNNO

Da Goddess @ 14:44

The day started off so nicely, too! Breakfast with my dad and my daughter. Running to the store with Mojo after breakfast. Looking through photos with her. Smiling so much, my cheeks hurt.

Now? I’m just so…IDUNNO…I bit all the heads off my Peeps.

Of course, that makes me want more Peeps to tear into.

And I’m not even hungry! I just want to rip marshmallowy animals apart.

I think there may be something wrong with me.


I Have Yet To Perish

Da Goddess @ 18:09

Meaning, I’m not dead yet.

I lived through the most recent sinus thing, even though there were times when I thought I’d rather not. I should be used to sinusy ailments by now. At 46, I’ve had approximately 10,000 sinus infections — or something near that number. It never ceases to surprise me when it happens, though. Le Sigh.

On to better things!

Like pitching woo in a canoe!

Also, I find it disturbing that the thrift store was trying to charge $47 for a pair of pants that are barely worth $4.70. In other words, I did NOT buy them.


TJH: Inspire Game Reveal

Da Goddess @ 00:11

Okay, the item in the photo is indicated by the white arrow.

Harmonica holder for Ryan Bingham

And now you know.

I’ll try to come up with more “guess what this is” posts if you’re up to playing them. Once a week sound good?


TJH: Inspire – Weekend Game

Da Goddess @ 04:57

Any guesses as to what this is?

Any Guesses?

film izle kalkan otel turkey travel and otels