2016/06/26

Ten Years After and it Still Stings

Da Goddess @ 00:06

Rob was the sort of man who got under your skin and migrated to your heart, kind of like a thorn or a parasite. And I mean that in the best way possible. Basically, once you made contact with him there was no way you were going to shake him.

TEN YEARS. Ten whole years he’s been gone. It continues to feel as though he might still call or email, as if there’s another story he needs to tell. I don’t know if that’ll ever really go away.

There are far too few people in this world like him and the loss of just one such person reveals the special place we hold in our hearts for them. I, thankfully, live with and love such a character. But the space where Rob lived will never truly be filled by anyone else. And I’m okay with that. Special friends deserve special places forever.

Day By Day - Acidman

Chris Muir

2016/06/07

Six Months is not Enough

Da Goddess @ 01:11

I feel sick to my stomach that six months was considered an appropriate sentence for the attacker. I feel sick to my stomach because it’s not anywhere close to a deterrent for the next guy who decides he’ll assault someone and he knows he can get away with it.

My heart aches for this young woman because of all she has endured — including the trial, the questions about her life, the treatment of her by the probation officer, and so much more.

I have been in her shoes, minus the trial and national exposure. I didn’t go after my attackers because of who one of them was. I wish I had as I later learned there were more victims of his. I don’t know what happened in the other guy’s life and don’t want to know. In fact, my heart says it’s best for me not to know anything about either of them.

Just like this young woman, I was lucky to have had some incredibly supportive people in my life. They helped me through the first year of recovering from the attack. And for all those who continued to help me long after, I can only say thanks. The memories never go away completely, but they do blur around the edges and they don’t have power over me as they once did. When I read about how this young woman (and many others) have suffered, a part of me feels their pain, the panic, the anxiety that follows. I wish I’d had their courage when I was attacked. I didn’t. But I do have a bit now and am no longer ashamed by any of it. I’m hoping anyone in a similar situation understands how important it is to realize they have nothing to be ashamed of. Their attackers should be ashamed, while the victims should be supported by family, friends, and the community.

As long as there are foolish judges handing out lenient sentences, parents who obfuscate the truth and try to raise pity for their criminally convicted children, and a society that tries downplay the seriousness of sexual assault cases, these stories will continue and the victims will continue to feel ashamed for something in which they had no choice but to endure.

Your mother, sister, daughter, wife, cousin, best friend, next door neighbor…She is the one who carries this weight and this pain when the rest of us don’t give sexual assault cases the utmost care and gravity they deserve. It’s time to stop victimizing the victim over and over again, somehow turning them into a villain for expecting justice. It’s time to stop downplaying the attacker’s role and turning him into some sort of misguided, lost soul.

We need to educate our children so they understand the difference between right and wrong, teach them to take responsibility for their actions — regardless of the consequences. If they do the crime, they do the time. It’s not negotiable. Rich or poor, boy or girl, black or white or purple, famous or not. At some point we must stand up for victims and stop allowing the perpetrators to control the narrative, stop giving them nonstop media coverage. Let’s remember the victims could be our family, friends, or even ourselves.

2016/05/19

50 & 14: I Did It!

Da Goddess @ 03:57

I. Fucking. Did. It.

I’ve made it to 50! And the last 14 of those years included blogging. Crazy, isn’t it?

This past year’s been a rough one. Frustration, pain, and heartache seemed to be around every corner. My own health issues, my family’s health issues, deaths of friends and my sweet Celia, and having to say goodbye to Mojo as she packed up for Alaska. But this is all part of life and we get through it, don’t we?

So I’ve survived and am grateful for making it this far. Of course, I wish things were easier, but without sadness I’d never appreciate happiness; without pain I’d never appreciate pleasure. It’s all part of life. LIFE. I’m still here! I almost feel like hunting down that vice principal and a few friends’ parents just to say, “you were WRONG!”

Heavy sigh, deep breath, and many prayers I get to try writing another post like this next year!

2016/05/08

Happy Mother’s Day

Da Goddess @ 17:07

Sending out the warmest of wishes to all who tend to others with great love, tenderness, concern, and, yes, even frustration at times.

Whether you’re female or male, old or young, caring for someone (or some*thing*) born of your loins or not, you ROCK!

2016/05/01

Christos Anesti! Tis Pascha Once Again

Da Goddess @ 00:02

Christos Anesti! He is Risen!

Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life!

Before the dawn, Mary and the women came and found the stone rolled away from the tomb. They heard the angelic voice: “Why do you seek among the dead as a man the One who is everlasting light? Behold the clothes in the grave! Go and proclaim to the world: The Lord is risen! He has slain death, as He is the Son of God, saving the race of men.”

Thou didst decend into the tomb, O Immortal, Thou didst destory the power of death! In victory didst Thou arise, O Christ God, proclaiming “Rejoice” to the myrrhbearing women, granting peace to Thy apostles, and bestowing resurrection to the fallen.

The angel cried to the Lady Full of Grace: Rejoice, O Pure Virgin! Again I say: Rejoice! Your Son is risen from His three days in the tomb! With Himself He has raised all the dead! Rejoice, all you people! Shine! Shine! O New Jerusalem! The Glory of the Lord has shone on you! Exalt now and be glad, O Zion! Be radiant, O Pure Theotokos, in the Resurrection of your Son!

Happy Easter, my friends!

2016/04/16

(Not so A)musing

Da Goddess @ 05:18

I’ve recently spent a great deal of time doing as little as possible due to, what else, pain.

It’s crazy-making of the highest quality. Sure, I get to watch a lot of TV, movies, and the like, but it does wear off its charm rather quickly.

I’ve also been working with Fletch on his tricks. He’s doing very well. He often instigates sessions, which is a good sign he enjoys the training as much as I do.

Best movies I’ve seen recently:
Trainwreck, Pride, and the Imitation Game.

Best series: Black Sails, Vikings, Togetherness, Hap & Leonard, and Life in Pieces. Life in Pieces, the only comedy of the bunch, has been an absolute godsend. We usually end up with tears streaming down our faces, which is wonderful.

We watch so much more, but those are our favorites of the moment.

Anything else you think we need to add to the list?

2016/03/27

Happy Easter!

Da Goddess @ 00:25

Happy Easter

Wishing you a very joyous Easter!

We’ll do this again May 1st, okay?

2016/02/16

64

Da Goddess @ 01:13

Rob would’ve been 64 today. It’s a little odd that I know this, that I still keep track. But I miss him. Really, really miss him.

There are hundreds of things happening I wish I could talk about with him. People I want to introduce to him and him to them. People I know would enjoy his humor, his music, his Robness. And I know he’d enjoy them. First and foremost, I know he and King Arthur would get on like a house afire.

Sigh.

64. How has it been 10 years already? Why does this day continue to hold significance for me? The thing is, even if I DIDN’T think about it, I’d still know it was his birthday.

I’m not sure how I’ll handle the birthdays of other friends who have died this past year, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be just as rough and bring memories flooding back. I know it happens on Mikey’s birthday. This time, though, I’m adding four more friends to the list (2015 was a very rough year deathwise).

So, here’s what I’m going to do…I’m going to have a day of remembering a dear, funny friend who meant the world to me. I’ll celebrate the laughter and the absolutely indelible impression he left on me, and I will take that approach with all the others. That’s all I can do.

Happy birthday, Acidman. We still miss you.

2016/01/30

Ouch

Da Goddess @ 19:11

Had a truly wonderful time yesterday with King Arthur’s family. They had a party at his cousin’s house in Santa Monica. She lives not even a block from the beach.

I got in lots of baby time and it was heavenly! Baby Evan is just adorable and big sister Emma was very helpful. There was another baby there as well and I got in a bit of time with her as well.

Today, though, I am wrecked. I’ve taken all the meds I can take and don’t feel any better for it yet. So I’m missing out on another gathering as I type. Big unhappy face.

Plans with my family have been moved back a week. I hope there aren’t any further delays as the lost sister is moving in a couple weeks. Talking with my mom, she’s excited to meet her, too. I’m hoping I’m there for that moment because it means so much to both of them and I very much want them to meet before my mom’s health declines.

In the meantime, I’m icing my back, waiting for my next dose of meds, praying they do the trick. There’s only so much I can take with the pain these days and I’ve reached my limit this year.

2016/01/27

Three Things

Da Goddess @ 02:51

First thing: my favorite doctor I’m currently seeing for my back is leaving to start his own practice or something like that. I found this out on Monday and promptly felt abandoned. There will be another doc taking his place, but it won’t be the same. He could tell just by looking at me how I was feeling and seemed to understand my and anticipate my needs. I’m going to miss him greatly.

Thing, the second: I’m finally going to celebrate Christmas with the family! Woo hoo! Very excited about this.

Thirdly, I’m going to meet my lost sister. I feel as though I have waited forever to meet her, and I suppose that’s accurate. I mean, since I found out about her I’ve wanted to meet her and now I’m going to! (Yeah that super high-pitched thing you heard but thought you only imagined was my squeal of delight.)

Yes! I managed a concise post! Make note of this, friends. It’ll likely never happen again.

2016/01/22

Protected: Worst. Friend. Ever.

Da Goddess @ 02:04

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2016/01/12

Waiting for Everything

Da Goddess @ 12:17

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I’ve yet to celebrate Christmas with my family.

I know, huh?!

We’re blaming it on the plague. Don’t know how I managed to catch it. I did, though.

Coughing, fevers, headaches, eventual sinus congestion, the works. The coughing was horrendous. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. I’m still stuck with a little, lingering cough, but nothing like I had. And I’m not wanting to sleep 24/7, which is a nice change.

Other than that, my holidays were fantastic /sarcasm.

I can’t wait to get down to see my family now that I’m no longer contagious. I’m hoping we can manage to do so before February. Fingers crossed!

2015/12/21

TJH: Inspire – Ode to Joy

Da Goddess @ 08:12

Tis the season for joy, is it not?

Yesterday, while baking cookies with King Arthur’s daughter and grandkids, I’d noticed something interesting: an upside-down candy cane cookie was right next to a wreath cookie, which was next to a mitten cookie. Looking at the way they were laid out there, it read “Joy” to me. Everyone else came over to look and they saw the same thing. It was appropriate for the occasion, as well as for the season.

Which brings me to my next bit of joy: my kids.

Mojo was down from Fairbanks the 2nd-9th. We only got a bit of one day together, but it was wonderful to see her, AND LD, again. Yes, they both met up with us at a little place down Temecula way. I’d told them we were going to do some photos for Grammy and Papa and they were cool with that. Here are a couple shots from that day.

Mojo 1

My sweet kids

LD 1

My Mojo girl

LD 2

Mojo 2

Handsome LD

A wonderful pair

Beautiful Mojo

2015/11/15

Recovery

Da Goddess @ 04:27

With all that’s been going on in my life (family stuff, faire, cat training, etc.), I forgot all about mydomain registration being due. As I’m sure you noticed, we went dark.

I feel so stupid! This isn’t like me to forget these things. I briefly contemplated not renewing at all and hanging up my blogging suit for good. But, after 20 seconds, I realized there was no way I could do without this site.

And so I’m back. Thanks for sticking around while I got my shit together!

Back to business as usual in a few moments.

2015/11/03

The Lost Sister

Da Goddess @ 02:09

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but in case I didn’t or if you missed it — I have another sister. Yes, I have my older sister, C., and my younger sister, J. But there’s also another sister. One I’ve never met.

When my mom was young, before she and my father got married, she had a child. She gave that child up for adoption. She’d named her, but her adoptive parents gave her a name of their own choosing. My mom never knew what that name was. She said her goodbye to that little girl and went forward with her life.

Years later, this child tracked down my mom. She didn’t want anything other than to know who she was, get some background on her, and, of course, get medical information from her.

I was the last one in the family to find out about her. My mom thought I might not understand. But Mom did finally tell me about her and I always wondered about her. B., as she was named, was a mystery. A mystery I wanted to solve. Or, at least, explore.

It’s been many years since the revelation of this mysterious sister and now I’m finally going to get some answers to the questions I have. Turns out she’s living in California, not far from my younger sister. She walked into the veterinary clinic where J. works and, in the course of chatting, discovered they were related. B. was suddenly a reality for us.

J. called to tell me about her and wanted to know if I was interested in meeting her. Hell to the YES! And now our journey of discovery begins.

I’ll keep you posted on our progress!

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